7 Factors for Successfully Implementing Personal Change

Seven Key Success Factors for Personal Change 

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar,

you present a new place for new ideas and progress.

Charles Kettering

Happy New Year. A time for starting your personal growth and change actions anew. 

As we wrote in yesterday’s blog post, there are many reasons why personal change initiatives fail.

According to some scientific research, it takes on average 66 days for a new behavior to become a new habit. That’s a little over two months!

No wonder so many people give up and abandon their personal change initiatives before reaching success. They typically quit too early in the process, often because they underestimate the time required to fully inculcate and instill a new behavior or a new change into their daily routines.

Don’t let this happen to you. Here are 7 Key Success Factors you can use to implement any personal change initiative in any aspect of your life. 

1.   Put time aside daily / weekly to review the actions you are taking, to monitor progress towards your goal, to make adjustments in either actions or stipulated deadline as necessary, and to re-commit yourself to achieving your desired outcome. Spend some time to also read some motivational quotes or anything else that personally inspires you. 

2.   Give priority to your personal change initiative over daily tasks. It is far too easy to get overloaded with the necessities and chores of daily life. But the actions on your “to do” list are not moving you in the direction you desired. Create a “Priority To Do” list of the things you need to do in order to achieve your desired outcome. Give this list priority over the things on your daily list. 

3.   Write your personal change goals in a SMART format:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Time-Framed

This technique has worked well over the years in the business world. Now apply it to your own Project You Personal Change Initiative.

Here’s an example of a not SMART goal:  to lose weight and get in shape.

What is meant by “get in shape?” How much weight needs to be lost? And in what time period?

Here’s how to translate that to a SMART goal:  lose 8 pounds in 30 days and increase personal fitness level by walking at least four miles three times a week.

What you want to measure is not only the outcome, but also the action steps being taken.

What is achievable here is walking four times a week. If you only lose 6 pounds in 30 days, despite having done your four walks a week, it merely means you need to extend your deadline by a couple of weeks. You’re certainly not a failure just because you cannot hit a self-imposed deadline.

4.   Share your goals with others and allow them to hold you accountable — when you share your personal change goal with someone else, it helps you to be more committed to accomplishing the goal (partly because sharing the goal is a bit like promising the other person that you are committed to it). Allow this other person to hold you accountable by permitting them to help you track progress, push and motivate you, and even cajole you into action when necessary. Yes, they may become a nag; but not necessarily more so than our own conscience! 

5.   Focus on 1-3 change initiatives at a time. This is why New Year’s Resolutions often go astray. People make New Year’s Resolutions lists that quickly tally into double digits. No one can make that many changes in their life all at one time. It is best to pick 1-3 that are of the highest priority for you and focus on these. Once one or two are accomplished (which takes on average 66 days according to one scientific study), then add one more. 

6.   Track progress. If you do not monitor your progress you will not have a good understanding of the realistic nature of the deadline you have set for yourself. Failing to meet a self-determined deadline may or may not be an indicator of failure. Most likely it is merely an indicator of failing to set a realistic deadline. Also, by tracking progress you will know if the actions you are taking are having the intended results. If they are not, you have the opportunity to make adjustments or try new actions. 

7.   Recognize effort and reward success. Too many people do not give themselves credit or self praise for their efforts, despite the fact that such actions are highly self motivating. There is no need to only focus on outcomes. Focus on the actions you are taking. And, when success is yours be sure that the reward is appropriate. Managed to lose those 8 pounds? Celebrating with a couple of slices of pizza is fine. Celebrating by eating a whole pizza only serves to negate your hard efforts and some of the success you have just enjoyed!

It is not enough to commit to change. You also have to commit to action. These 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change are designed to help to commit to action, and then to sustain (and modify) the actions you take.

Here’s one more tool for you to use:  the Project You Personal Change Action Plan, which incorporates these 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change. 

For some additional help, read our article:  8 Steps for Making (and Keeping) Successful New Year's Resolutions. 

And, to keep you motivated throughout the year, our book Project You: Words of Wisdom, is available free in the Amazon Kindle store through January 3^rd. The paperback version is only $6.45.

Currently the #1 motivational book and the #1 self-help book in the Amazon Kindle Store, Project You: Words of Wisdom is full of motivational quotes, tips, and techniques for helping you achieve your 2017 goals and aspirations. To get your copy, click on this link: Project You Words of Wisdom.

Best wishes for continued success in 2017. 

#1 Motivational Book: Project You Words of Wisdom

Also #1 Self-Help Book in Kindle Store 

We are amazed and thrilled that we have the #1 Motivational book and the #1 Self-Help book in the Amazon Kindle store as the year comes to an end.

Thank you to all our readers who have read either the Kindle version or the paperback version and then recommended the book to colleagues, friends, and family.

Project You: Words of Wisdom is full of motivational quotes, tips and ideas on how to Live A Determined Life.

Top-Ranked Motivational Book in Kindle Store 

To celebrate, Project You: Words of Wisdom will be FREE in the Kindle store through January 3, 2017. After that the price reverts to $3.88. The paperback version is also available at $6.45.

Copies available at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KXHP9TW

Please share this and let's help everyone get off to a great motivated start to 2017.

The Reasons Personal Change Initiatives Fail

Overcoming the Hurdles to Personal Change 

The New Year is a time for a fresh start, a new set of challenges, a new list of personal objectives and goals. 

Typical New Year’s Resolutions lists include actions such as losing weight, paying off debt, exercising more, changing jobs, getting better organized, traveling to a particular place, and reading more books.

All of which, of course, require personal change.

Unfortunately we all fail, at times, to successfully make a personal change in our respective lives. Sometimes we learn from these failures; other times we do not.

Perhaps the most obvious example of failed personal change initiatives takes place during the annual New Year's Resolution ritual. Despite an abundance of motivation and sense of purpose assigned to these, the fact is that the large majority of New Year's Resolutions are abandoned within the first 90 days of each year. 

Why is this so?

There are many reasons for this, but the main ones we believe that contribute the most to any personal change effort failing to achieve the desired outcome are: 

• People do not make them top of mind -- every day. 
• Too many initiatives are attempted simultaneously. The typical New Year's Resolution list often reaches double-digit figures. 
• No prioritization. 
• People are not willing to say "no" to distractions and other initiatives. 
• No action plans. Often New Year's Resolutions lists are merely just wishing thinking that change will somehow magically happen. 
• We do not make the change into a daily habit. 
• We do not allow others to hold ourselves accountable, preferring to keep our change initiatives private to ourselves. 
• Goals are not quantifiable, and there are no interim milestones set. 
• We do not track our progress or keep journals, so we don't know what is working and what is hindering our progress. 

According to some scientific research, it takes on average 66 days for a new behavior to become a new habit. That's a little over two months! 

Now wonder so many people give up and abandon their personal change initiatives before reaching success. They typically quit too early in the process, often because they underestimate the time required to fully inculcate and instill a new behavior or a new change into their daily routines. 

Do not let this happen to you. Use the above list as a guideline to help ensure that you do not let these typical hurdles become hardened obstacles that prevent you fro successfully achieving your personal change initiatives. 

For more tips on how to overcome these hurdles, see our 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change.

And read yesterday's blog post on the 8 Steps for Making Successful New Year's Resolutions. 

These tips and techniques will help put you on a more successful path for achieving all you want to accomplish in 2017.

Lastly, to help you get and stay motivated throughout the year, our book Project You: Words of Wisdom, the current #1 motivational and self help book in the Amazon Kindle store, is free in Kindle format from now through January 3rd. It's also available in paperback for just $6.45. Get your copy now by clicking this link:  Project You Words of Wisdom. 

We wish you continued success in 2017. 

8 Steps for Making Successful New Year's Resolutions

How To Make and Keep New Year's Resolutions 

It’s that time of year again. Time to wash away the past 12 months and start the New Year afresh with new (or revised) goals, desires, and plans. 

And that means it is time for the annual ritual of New Year’s Resolutions. 

This ritual reportedly began with the ancient Babylonians, who made promises to the gods in order to receive their favor and start the New Year off right. Of course, back then a new year began in March with the first full moon following the vernal equinox. 

While New Year’s Resolutions may be an annual ritual, it is not a very successful practice. Research shows that the large majority of New Year’s Resolutions are abandoned within the first 90 days of the year. 

To help you keep your own personal New Year’s Resolutions going past the end of March, here are 8 steps for making (and keeping) successful resolutions: 

1.  Understand the WHY behind each of your goals and desires. This takes a bit of time and reflection, but it is crucial that you internalize why a goal is significant and important to you. If you don't, it is too easy to toss the resolution aside when you hit obstacles and hurdles. 

2.   Visualize the outcome and your results. What will success look like? How will you feel when your goal is accomplished? Who will you tell? How will they react? Focus on your feelings, for positive feelings are powerful motivators and you can call upon these if you lose momentum or hit some temporary setback.

3.   Create specific details for each goal on your list:

      a) write out the purpose of the goal (i.e. feeling better about yourself may be the purpose for losing weight).

      b) write down how you will make this goal a priority throughout the coming year, or until it is accomplished.

      c) list the Key Action Steps you need to take (with specific deadlines if appropriate).

      d) list all the available resources to help you achieve the goal

      e) create a list of additional resources you may need (this may include people, knowledge, tools, funds, or even time).

      f) make a list of reference links to information, tools, data, and motivational quotes you may need to call upon.

4.  Use our Personal Change Action Plan template to create a 30-60-90 day action plan for each goal. It’s free. It’s easy to use. You can modify it to suit your needs if you want. No more excuses. Go to our Personal Change Action Plan, copy it, and use it.

5.   Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the journey to success. Most likely the road will not be smooth and even. There will be bumps, hurdles, and obstacles along the way. How will you overcome these? What are your personal sources of motivation? Need some help in this area? Our book Project You: Words of Wisdom is free in the Amazon Kindle store (Dec 30, 2016 – Jan 3, 2017). In it you will find a wide range of motivational quotations on all aspects of life. Download Project You: Words of Wisdom now. 

6.  Make a commitment to yourself — a PROMISE to yourself —that you will maintain resilience and perseverance until your goal is accomplished.

7.  As you progress toward your goal, focus on accomplishments, not gaps. Hence, if your goal is to lose 15 pounds, and by the end of February you are down five pounds, focus on this accomplishment, not the 10 more pounds left to go.

8.  Celebrate achievements and milestones along the way. Lost that first five pounds? Good, now go celebrate. Reward yourself. Even with a slice or two of pizza if you want (but not the whole pizza!).

Here are two other articles to help you achieve your 2017 New Year’s Resolutions:

Why Personal Change OftenFails

7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change

We wish you continued success in 2017.

Relationships Take Intimacy

14 Types of Intimacy to Build a Strong and Intimate Relationship 

Today it is far too easy, and acceptable, to quit a marriage when things start to go astray. Relationships are difficult, and marriages are often the height of difficulty.

Successful marriages focus on a range of shared intimacy between the partners. 

Not everything on the list below needs to be checked, and not each of these facets of intimacy is necessary for a marriage relationship to work. 

Nevertheless, this list is a pretty good starting point for couples (married or not) who want to build a solid interpersonal and intimate relationship, one which will help ensure they are able to keep their family unit together and functional:

Emotional intimacy: an ability to identify, tune into, and accept each other's emotional needs and range of emotional expressions.

Commitment intimacy: an equality of investment by both partners in the relationship based on trust and the manner in which each partner invests emotionally, mentally and spiritually in the relationship.

Experiential intimacy: sharing of relaxing, playful and enjoyable experiences, such as holidays, hobbies, sports, plays, concerts, events, and even exercise. Also the ability to share aesthetic pleasures such as art, culture, dance, music, and literature.

Intellectual intimacy: sharing ideas and thinking on major issues and topics of the day, plus an ability to share views openly and honestly with one another when opinions differ (combined, of course, with the willingness to accept that it is okay for the other partner to hold a differing view).

Communication intimacy: an ability to share openly and honestly on all levels about all things. More important is the ability to listen openly and fully to all communication from the other partner and to be completely engaged in all conversations.

Physical intimacy: sharing and exchanging physical closeness and connectedness through hugs, cuddling, touching, holding hands, etc.

Sexual intimacy: sharing sexual passions and desires without fear of rejection or harm, including a mutual willingness to experiment if mutually desirable.

Creative intimacy: sharing and participating together in creative activities, including home renovations, gardening, crafts, cooking, and other pursuits. Where one partner has no personal interest or involvement in a creative pursuit of the other, then the non-involved partner shares the other's passion through support, conversation, encouragement, and expressed interest.

Family intimacy: sharing bonding time together as a family unit, both at home and on holidays. Creating shared memories of family experiences that involve all members of the family unit, exclude non-family members, and center around common interests and doing things together.

Contribution intimacy: a shared interest in contributing and giving back to the local community, specific charities or causes. As above, when one partner has no personal passion for a particular cause or activity that interests the other, the non-involved partner supports, encourages and expresses interest in what their partner is doing and why.

Work intimacy: best when applicable to the professional pursuits of each partner (without the aspect of bringing work problems home, unless help and support is needed on these), but also applies to sharing (not splitting) of household chores and tasks such as shopping, cleaning, washing, and other regular or routine work.

Conflict intimacy: the ability to face, cope and even struggle together with differences and problems as they arise.

Crisis intimacy: the ability to face, cope and even struggle as a team when pain, injury, sickness, tragedies, and death strike.

Spiritual intimacy: the sharing of hopes, dreams, visions, overriding concerns, personal values, and spiritual values without fear of rejection.

Pick two of these types of intimacy and focus this week on how to improve them in your life and intimate relationship. Next week pick two more! 

In a month you will be well on your way to building an intimate and strong relationship. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Building Committed Marital Relationships

Making Intimate Relationships Work Through Commitment

One of the key factors in the creation of troubled families is a relationship breakdown between the parents.

People define "committed relationships" as those in which one's love and sexual desires are committed to only their partner. 

But there's another aspect of commitment that is often lacking in these relationships. And that is the commitment to commitment  ──  the commitment to try, to act, to overcome hurdles and blips encountered on the way, to remain in a true partnership no matter what.

Famous basketball player and coach Pat Riley is certainly on the mark with his observation that, "There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in between."

What Riley says about life and basketball is certainly true about committed intimate relationships and marital situations.

There are two components to commitment ── preparation and persistence.

Persistence is what frequently separates successful relationships from those that are not. 

According to Dale Carnegie, "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." The same rings true for successful intimate relationships that last the long haul.

Too many people are ready and willing to discard their aims, desires, dreams, and even their purposes in life by casting everything overboard as the first signs of difficulty or misfortune manifest. They see obstacles and failures as defeats, or even worse as misinterpreted "signs" that things are not meant to be the way they had planned, hoped or dreamed. 

As the Japanese proverb goes: "Beginning is easy, continuing is hard." 

What steps are you making this week to commitment to being committed to your intimate or marital relationship?

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Becoming A Visionary Parent

Making A Success of Life's Biggest Job

According to Mark Victor Hansen, of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame, “To be a visionary parent, we need to keep working on ourselves, becoming forever new and improved.” 

One wonders though, how many parents actually pause to reflect and reinforce their beliefs and values about parenting. Perhaps if more did so, parenting would become more of a planned activity, rather than one that is predominately performed as a reaction to events and happenings. This is why proactively working on your parenting skills, and becoming "new and improved" in this aspect of your life, is an essential part of the Project You Life Journey process.

Essential because, as Denis Waitley has written, “What you leave in your children is more important than what you leave to them.”

Adds Jim Rohn: “If you talk to your children, you can help them to keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams.”

Lastly, C. Everett Koop, the former U.S. Surgeon General, hit the nail on the head with these comments:

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.

Perhaps one of the best overviews on parenting and children comes from the poet Kahlil Gibran in his poem On Children in his book The Prophet:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

As we wrote in the previous blog post about parenting, if your children look up to you as they enter the early years of adulthood, you have made a success of life’s biggest job. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon.