Becoming A Visionary Parent

Making A Success of Life's Biggest Job

According to Mark Victor Hansen, of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame, “To be a visionary parent, we need to keep working on ourselves, becoming forever new and improved.” 

One wonders though, how many parents actually pause to reflect and reinforce their beliefs and values about parenting. Perhaps if more did so, parenting would become more of a planned activity, rather than one that is predominately performed as a reaction to events and happenings. This is why proactively working on your parenting skills, and becoming "new and improved" in this aspect of your life, is an essential part of the Project You Life Journey process.

Essential because, as Denis Waitley has written, “What you leave in your children is more important than what you leave to them.”

Adds Jim Rohn: “If you talk to your children, you can help them to keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams.”

Lastly, C. Everett Koop, the former U.S. Surgeon General, hit the nail on the head with these comments:

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.

Perhaps one of the best overviews on parenting and children comes from the poet Kahlil Gibran in his poem On Children in his book The Prophet:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

As we wrote in the previous blog post about parenting, if your children look up to you as they enter the early years of adulthood, you have made a success of life’s biggest job. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Parenting: Life's Biggest Job

Give Children the Habits of Love, Humanity, Creativity and Spirituality. 

Passing knowledge on to one’s progeny has been an age-old concern. Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher from the 1^st Century, wrote, “Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.”

Years later, English philosopher and educator Richard Whately wrote “A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune.” 

That was probably a good philosophy for the industrial 19^th Century, when industriousness was needed to sustain one’s family. Today, in the globally linked Information Age of the 21^st Century, our children need the habits of love, humanity, thinking, creativity, and spirituality. These are the core values that will sustain our children, and our children’s children, into the middle of this century.

In more recent times, David Blankenhorn, founder and president of the Institute for American Values, stated, “The most important domestic challenge facing the U.S. at the close of the 20^th Century is the re-creation of fatherhood as a vital social role for men.”

The words of famed educator and former President of Columbia University Grayson Kirk certainly ring true in today's rapidly changing world: “Our greatest obligation to our children is to prepare them to understand and to deal effectively with the world in which they will live, and not with the world we have known or the world we would prefer to have.”

Of course, parenting is not something we learn in school or at university. While there are many books on parenting, none of us really have a fool-proof parenting book at hand. 

Perhaps one pundit got it right when he said, “If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” 

Unfortunately, the cynical comments of clergyman Charles Wadsworth also have a ring of truth to them: “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”  

If your children look up to you as they enter the early years of adulthood, you have made a success of life’s biggest job.

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Respect In The Work Place

The Benefits of a Respectful Working Environment 

One cornerstone of Values Based Leadership is respect. Everyone in the organization, but particularly those in leadership positions, should foster respect for everyone (both within and external to the organization).

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. A University of Michigan study of 1100 workers reported that 71% experienced incidents of incivility or disrespect in the workplace. In another report, over half of 14,000 workers around the world said they had felt disrespected in the workplace during the prior week. And a British Workplace Behavior Survey estimated that nearly 2 million workers in Britain had experienced some form of violence at work over a two-year period.

Showing respect for everyone you come into contact with, including indirect contact such as phone calls and email, is essential for developing productive relationships and managing conflict in the workplace. There should be no tolerance for especially damaging and degrading forms of disrespect in the work environment such as bullying, harassment, backstabbing, sabotage, harmful comments or denigrating gossip.

Former Egyptian President Anwar al-Sadat once said, "There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, and not as many separate ones." 

The same can be said for all organizations, whether large or small. One of the best ways to break down the silos found in an organization is by establishing firm ground rules that promote respect amongst all co-workers, and between the organization's employees and its customers, suppliers, vendors, partners, regulators, and all other external parties.

In a respectful work environment the following traits can be found: 

·         Personal differences are put aside to focus on solving problems and creating solutions.

·         Everyone treats all others with respect at all times.

·         Open and honest constructive communication takes place.

·         Differences in opinions and ideas are tolerated and respected.

·         There is no talking behind another person's back.

·         When problems between individuals arise they are handled forthrightly, constructively and openly.

·         It is assumed that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources at hand and that everyone's heart is in the right place for the good of the organization and its workers.

The main benefit of a respectful working environment is that less time and energy is spent handling conflicts (particularly personality conflicts and people issues), resulting in more time available for productive work and getting the right things done. 

A respectful working environment is also less stressful, which results in higher employee motivation, fewer sick days and absenteeism, and overall higher levels of productivity. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

The Importance Of Values In Business

How an Organized is Led and Governed is Critical to its Success 

A report a few years ago titled Reputation Assurance: The Value of A Good Name, from PriceWaterhouseCoopers, stated, "A single-minded focus that seeks only to satisfy shareholders may ultimately lead to crises and erosion of shareholder value."

When business owners and leaders actively demonstrate strong values, they are better able to:

• create meaningful relationships with diverse stakeholders to drive high performance as they build and develop internal talent, and
• inspire and energize their employees and peers, by demonstrating what is expected of the team, and then simultaneously building and developing internal talent.

 Dov Seidman, author of HOW: Why HOW We Do Anything Means Everything…in Business (and in Life) believes there is a link between enlightened corporate behavior and performance. He argues that the most successful businesses of the future will also be the most moral ones, not as a result of formal Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) initiatives and programs, but from what he labels sustainable values. 

Unlike situational values, sustainable values are ones with sustaining human relationships built into their day-to-day practices and behaviors. In Seidman's view, how an organization is led, governed and operates is equally as important to its future success as the products and services it produces.

In fact, values are such an important item on the leadership agenda that astute leaders are now actively seeking new systems and methodologies for cascading critical values throughout their organizations. This is one area where smaller and medium sized businesses will have an advantage over monolithic, huge enterprises as it is much easier to cultivate consistent values-based behaviors across a workforce of 200 than 20,000.

Values are also very important to employees. In fact, the 2012 PWC Annual Global CEO survey reports that 59% of workers say they will seek employers whose corporate responsibility behavior matches their own values. This was higher than the 52% who said they are attracted to employers offering opportunities for career progression.

Values are important to employees. Values are important to consumers. Values are important to society.

It is little wonder that incisive and wise business owners and leaders are now deliberately and purposely using shared values as one of the best levers for optimal people performance within their organizations. As a result, they are creating great businesses that deliver significantly more than just money. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Values Set The Context For Behavior

Values Based Leadership Helps Prevent Corporate Disasters 

Values are the catalyst for behavior. Basing collective and individual action on value goals, rather than stated performance objectives, has three important benefits for the organization:

                 1)          It helps to avoid wrong actions that lead to devastating consequences,

                2)          It helps everyone address dilemmas where there is no obvious, clear black and white correct path to take, and

                3)          It helps employees respond to the sentiments of others when strongly held opposing views come into play.

A few years ago, the high-powered leadership team at Enron was known as "the smartest guys in the room." But their lack of values-based performance led to the collapse and destruction of Enron, and carried the corpse of accounting firm Arthur Anderson with them. It also led to prison sentences for several Enron executives. 

Today, many people are questioning what the values were at Volkswagen which led some people in that organization purposefully install illegal software in their vehicles deliberately aimed at cheating laboratory emissions tests. This deliberate corporate malfeasance is going to cost Volkswagen over $15B just in the United States, plus several billions in other countries. 

Values set the context for behavior. By understanding the values your people bring to the table, and then aligning these with the vital values of the organization, you create teams of people more able to collaborate and work together to produce the results desired.

Great leaders know to monitor and measure the processes and behaviors producing results. They also know that when they modify behaviors that have slipped beyond the edges of the organization's agreed and stated values, their people performance and results return to the desired path and destination.

Values-based leadership is about sometimes taking the hardest path. It is about seeing the company's purpose as more than just a profit-producing machine. It also means putting people and values before profits and short-term "shady" tactics designed to meet quarterly or yearly numbers. As the great investor Warren Buffet said, "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it." 

Without a values-based leadership approach, your organization's clock is permanently set at five minutes before disaster.  

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Leadership Based On Values

Shared Values Set the Context for Individual and Collective Behavior 

For those of you who get the opportunity to lead an entire organization, additional challenges will surface. Not the least of these is ensuring a corporate culture aligned with the collective values of its employees.

Recall the earlier quote from Henry Ford: "A business that only makes money is a poor business."

Without a doubt, this quote is more true in today's world of Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), multiple constituencies, more knowledgeable customers, and a highly mobile workforce than it was during the "glorious" Industrial Age of the 1900s.

Likewise, the management philosophies and tools of the 20th century are no longer as useful or effective for leading a 21st century workforce. In fact, many leadership observers believe the pendulum has currently swung too far in the direction of the management ethos of "what gets measured gets done" and has resulted in too much emphasis on setting specifically measurable criteria for every aspect of business.

While goal setting and measurement tracking are still valid practices, the core leadership philosophy for business owners and managers today is best built on the values of transparency, excellence and caring for one another. How these core values are expressed through action and behavior differentiate one organization from another.

The Supreme Court in the United States has pronounced that "companies are people" with the same First Amendment rights and protections as individuals. While not every jurisdiction will go this far in granting organizations human qualities, the best business owners and leaders do see their organizations as living and evolving entities driven by shared values.

Each person on your team has their own inherent set of values. It is an unwise business owner or leader who expects his or her employees to park their individual values at the door upon arrival at work each day.

The astute business owner or leader, on the other hand, coalesces his or her staff around a set of shared values that set and define the context for individual and collaborative behavior.

Motorola Solutions is one such entity with a clearly defined set of shared various:

We are innovative

We are passionate

We are driven

We are accountable

We are partners

These values not only drive the decision-making process and collaborative efforts within this global, multi-cultural organization, they are also used as important criteria in the company's recruitment and talent development processes. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Being An Authentic You

Revel in the freedom to be yourself by Living A Determined Life. 

Some people try to impress, through fancy titles, clothes, cars, lifestyles, social standing, and other overt displays of perceived success. Sadly, many seek happiness and acceptance this way. Unfortunately, they do not see that they are giving up the freedom to truly be themselves in exchange for these so-called status symbols.

However, those for whom such symbols have little meaning are free from the need to covet and crave them. While they care, to a lesser degree, how other people perceive them, the only standards that matter and concern them are the ones they set themselves. The primary (and sometimes solely) source of acceptance they seek is the one from themselves. They find value in themselves, not from being accepted by others.

As such, these people truly know how it feels to have the freedom to be themselves. And that is a freedom to which you are entitled, no matter what your station or situation in life happens to be.

You have the universal right and freedom to be you. You have the universal right to be free from feeling that you have to please other people or conform to the standards and dictates of others. You are free to be you and to ignore the expectations of others that do not feel right to you.

As the lovable Dr. Seuss penned, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  

After all, at the end of your journey, you don't want to be asking yourself, "Why wasn't I more like me? How did I get off track from being me?"

Real success in life comes from being true to yourself. If you listen carefully, your spirit will be the one guiding you best on this journey and keeping you on track. That feeling in your gut and that soft, shallow voice in your head telling you that you are not being yourself is your spirit communicating with you.

Being you is a challenging and rewarding undertaking, but nobody can perform the job as well as you. Our blog posts over the next week will provide you some additional ideas and guideposts on how to carry out the job of being you. 

For more great quotes on how to live a determined life, see our book Project You: Words of Wisdom, at Amazon.

Respecting Others

Respect is a Core Value of a Project You Life Journey 

Fred Rogers, who had a famous television show in America called Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, had an interesting, almost altruistic, attitude about respect, one that very few people today would practice or preach:

As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has ─ or ever will have ─ something inside that is unique all the time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.

 In a similar vein, Lee Atwater, a political consultant and presidential advisor, proclaimed, "There is nothing more important in life than human beings, nothing sweeter than the human touch."

If Atwater's thoughts are anywhere near close to truth, then we all need to show greater respect to each of our fellow human beings. And there's probably no better time to begin than the present.

The ability to forgive is a core component of respect, for the art of forgiveness is an explicit display of respecting another person's universal strengths and human weaknesses.

Some very good advice comes courtesy of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German writer from the early 19th century: "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming."

Perhaps that is what the true essence of respect is all about ── treating people as if they were what they ought to be (instead of how you might be currently perceiving them).

Here's some more advice on respect, which is excerpted from a booklet called Lessons From Sports by college football coach Todd Dodge:

Respect your opponent.

Never get full of yourself, or you may get ambushed.

Don't ever think you have arrived. Don't be intimidated, but do give respect to your opponent.

You have to pay your dues and prove yourself before being promoted.

Be the perfect gentleman off the field and the ultimate competitor on the field.

Be grateful for what you have and for the support of those around you.

The importance of respect, and showing respect to others, cannot be overstated as a key ingredient of a Project You Life Journey. 

In our interconnected universe, having disrespect for others is akin to having disrespect for all, including ourselves.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Respect Is A Core Value

Respecting Others Will Make You Feel At Home Everywhere 

The overall level of respect across all aspects of society seems to have deteriorated in recent years.

Evidence of this includes the profane language that permeates today's music, films and television shows; as well as the plethora of self-interest actions and abuses of power by persons of authority, politicians and business leaders. 

And currently in the United States we are witnessing perhaps the most disrespectful election year of all time. 

While societal signs of disrespect have yet to reach a crescendo, there is little doubt of the escalation of disrespect being exhibited today. 

As Gail Pursell Elliott, who is known as The Dignity and Respect Lady wrote, "As a society, we have come to a point where people too often treat one another as objects and opportunities, rather than as fellow human beings. Respecting one another as individuals, or not doing so, seriously impacts the future of all of us."

Having respect for other cultures and other people is extremely important as today's world becomes more interconnected and all of us are more frequently exposed to opportunities to interact with people from other cultures and backgrounds. One has to be careful, however, not to fall into the trap of ethnocentricity, which basically means believing that the values, beliefs and rules of one's own culture are the only valid ones or are automatically superior to all others.

Not only is such a belief system wrong and highly misleading, it also results in a very limited mindset that prevents you from learning from others. Once you begin to explore the world and other cultures, you will quickly learn that other societies, people and cultures have values, beliefs, rules, and protocols that are no better or worse than your own ── just different.

It is important that you respect these different values, beliefs, rules, and protocols, especially when you are in their cultural environment. Doing so will make you feel comfortable and at home everywhere across this magnificent planet.

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats.

Living A Principle Centered Life

Be Unflinching in Your Commitment to Your Principles 

Living A Determined Life means being totally committed to your principles and values. 

However, one of the most important things about personal principles is to understand that you cannot impose your values on others. 

For instance, suppose you place a high value on punctuality, but your partner does not. Any efforts you make to impose your value of punctuality on your partner will undoubtedly lead to numerous spats followed by many moments of anguish and despair.

When you make judgments of others based on your principles, friction ensues.

One aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to leverage your values with courage in your decisions and actions, combined with the ability to do so in consideration of the feelings and convictions of others. 

Another aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to understand how the values of others form a foundation for their own decisions and actions, even when these are not acceptable to you or are in direct opposition to your own views and convictions.

When you are emotionally mature you can have a great deal of ego strength, while maintaining respect and empathy for others.

Your principles require 100% commitment and dedication. They are not something to be pulled out of your wallet or purse and used to pay for your experiences in life like some kind of values credit card.

Be unflinching in your commitment to your principles. As Denis Waitley has written, "Moderation in temper is always a virtue. Moderation in principle is always a vice."

And lastly, by all means stick to your principles through hardships, turmoil, disappointments, heartaches, and in those moments when it seems like life would be easier if you just made a little compromise here or there. When it comes to your principles, there is no such thing as a "little" compromise.

In the words of Thomas Jefferson, "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

 This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life. Get your copy today at Amazon in either Kindle or paperback format. 

Principles Create A Meaningful Life

Your Conscience has a Full Understanding of Your True Principles. 

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well. 

Principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

No one can teach you which principles to inculcate within yourself, for the simple reason that what works for some may not work for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everybody else is absolutely unique. 

Your principles and values are what create your authentic self. 

There is no magic formula for always living up to your personal values, though this advice from philanthropist W. Clement Stone comes close:

Have the courage to say no.

Have the courage to face the truth.

Do the right thing because it is right.

These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

The importance of knowing and understanding your principles cannot be over emphasized. As William F. Scolavino said, "The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions."

Your inner spirit, usually speaking to you via your conscience, will always have a full understanding of your true principles. 

Listen to and obey your conscience. It speaks to you through an inner voice telling you things that we often refer to as hunches or gut feelings. Trust your hunches and gut feelings, for these are based on facts, principles and values that are coded and ingrained at your unconscious, spiritual level.

In other words: trust yourself. It's the best way to Live A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Values Form Your Principles

Principles are never Old Fashioned or Out of Date

Values form your principles. For instance, having a core value for integrity results in a principle never to tell a lie or hide the whole truth from someone. 

And, like values, principles should be put into a hierarchical structure, as at times two or more of your principles may be in conflict. It is important that you organize your principles by priority, based on which is most important to you.

For example, how would you handle a situation where a friend or colleague is about to drive off from a party in an inebriated state? He says he's fine to drive, but you think he should not be driving.

Does your principle of not interfering in other people's personal decisions overrule your principle of believing that drunk driving is wrong? Or vice versa? Will you be willing to risk the friendship or workplace relationship to prevent a possible tragedy?

If you respond with "it depends on who the person is" or "it depends on how high he appears to be," you are taking a situational approach and not a principled one.

If you decide that you place a higher value on not interfering in someone's personal decisions over the principle that drunk driving is wrong, then that is your hierarchical ranking for these two principles.

Your individual principles need to be formed around the great values of life, things like truth, love, the sanctity of life, integrity, being a person of your word, justice, fairness, friendship, spirituality, etc.

Despite the current trend of modern humanity to focus on happiness and pleasure as the cornerstones of life, do not think that matters of principle are old fashioned or past their use-by date. They are not and deep down they never will be. They are what make your own authentic self. 

Now is a good time to take 15-30 minutes and write down your own personal values and principles, and then reflect on how these will help you Live A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Principles

Your Principles Require 100% Commitment and Dedication

There will be times in your life when you are called upon to stand up for your principles, especially if you have principles based on your core personal values.

These moments need not be major, life-defining incidents. Rather, they often crop up during mundane day-to-day activities. When you take action in accordance with your principles, often called living up to your principles, the glow of self satisfaction can be immense and is reward enough in itself.

However, when you do not act in harmony with your principles, a little piece of you dies inside and your soul becomes uncomfortable and agitated. 

7 Key Elements of a Project You Life 

A lot of the literature we read and the stories we hear while growing up feature characters struggling or learning to formulate their principles and act accordingly. One common lesson in most of these stories is that principles are not situational, something many people forget when becoming adults and entering "the real world."

Principles are the rocks upon which your decisions for action should be made. Your principles help ensure that you live up to your personal values, and thus need to be  solidly entrenched in your psyche and persona. As Edward R. Lyman wrote:

Principle ─ particularly moral principle ─ can never be a weathervane, spinning around this way and that with the shifting winds of expediency. Moral principle is a compass forever fixed and forever true.

Your principles require 100% commitment and dedication. They are not something to be pulled out of your wallet or purse and used to pay for your experiences in life like some kind of values credit card.

One of the best ways to Live A Determined Life will be, to paraphrase Shakespeare's famous line, to thine own principles be true. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

8 More Ways to Exhibit Kindness

No Act of Kindness Is Ever Wasted

In our last blog post on kindness in our daily lives, we shared a few ways to exhibit kindness. 

Here are eight more ways to exhibit kindness: 

React to rudeness with compassion. No sense throwing oil on a raging fire and making a bad situation worse. We all have moments of emotional meltdowns, so help those in emotional pain with calm and soothing words of comfort rather than your own angry words of confrontation.

Be generous to those who look like they need it, by letting the person who seems in a rush to go ahead of you at the check-out line or by giving up your seat on public transportation to someone who looks tired and worn out.

Truly mean the words "please" and "thank you" when you say them, and be sure to smile and look the other person in the eyes so that they sense your sincerity and genuineness.

Constantly be generous with your praise of others. It's amazing how far a bit of praise goes in creating energy, passion and enthusiasm in others.

Greatly reduce your criticisms and complaints about others, particularly behind their backs. The old rule about "if you cannot say anything good about someone, don't say anything at all" is sage advice.

Remind yourself of your previous acts of kindness, which is sure to bring a slight smile to your face. Such positive memories are a good way to spark new ideas on how you can continue to exhibit kindness to others.

Be grateful for the good things and people that come your way, and remind yourself that every act of kindness you generate produces feelings of gratitude and appreciation in others.

Remember that small acts of kindness count large, especially to the recipients. So give help to the person struggling with their onboard luggage, help the elderly or infirm cross the street, ask the stranger looking lost if they need directions. And always share your umbrella with those caught out in the rain without one of their own.

Many of the examples above may appear to be small and of little impact. However, as Aesop wrote, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." 

Or, as Kahlil Gibran put it, "The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention."

In addition to the above, you should also be kinder and more gentle with yourself. 

There is little reward to be found in being overly harsh and too critical with one's self. 

While the old saying "kindness starts at home" certainly has a ring of truth to it, it is important to remember that authentic kindness starts with one's self.

Either way, exhibiting kindness to yourself or to others, is sure to bring more authentic happiness into your life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Exhibit More Kindness Daily

Bring Additional Kindness Into the Lives of Others 

A recent blog post showed how extending kindness to others is one way of creating authentic happiness in ourselves. 

Here are several ways to easily add kindness to your personal values and to bring some additional kindness into the lives of others:

Share your knowledge and experiences with others through volunteer talks in schools and your community, or through free content you deliver via the Internet.

Donate used books, magazines, clothes, cookware, dishes, pots, and other items you rarely or never use (de-cluttering your home and your life is always a good feeling).

Provide assistance, comfort or food to those who need it the most, especially the homeless. Rather than toss unused food, bag it up and drive to an area where the homeless hang out or beg. Whenever you see a homeless or hungry person near a fast food outlet you are about to visit, add one healthy item to your order and hand it to that person as you walk to your car or drive away. The thanks you will receive will be well worth the extra few dollars you spend.

Help your neighbors with chores or watching their children so they can have a "date night" or just take some time from their own daily routines.

Make way for those who seem to be in a hurry, even if they appear rude or unfriendly. Perhaps they are dealing with a major personal or family issue, or maybe their work has them stressed. No sense in you getting stressed over their behavior. Better to step aside or allow them to rapidly pass you on the road. Who knows, you might actually be doing them a huge favor by letting them hurry on by.

Surprise your loved ones with notes of encouragement and appreciation. This works particularly well with pre-teenage children, who just love getting a surprised note of love, praise or encouragement from mom or dad in their packed lunches or hidden in their school books.

Actively engage introverts and shy people in small talk whenever you encounter them in hallways, elevators, stores, parties, or other public places. They often have great insights and a lot to say, if only asked and encouraged.

When you add kindness into your daily routine and interactions, you will quickly come to realize that extending kindness and truly felt pleasantries to others is one of the core components of authentic happiness. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.

Mother Teresa on Kindness

Wise Words on Being Kind 

Our previous blog post showed how extending kindness creates authentic happiness in ourselves.

So why is kindness exhibited more frequently on a daily basis? 

Some people are so afraid of being taken advantage of by others that they purposely hide and restrain their desires to be kind. 

These words from Mother Teresa should allay such concerns:

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Kindness

Extending Kindness Creates Authentic Happiness In Ourselves  

While kindness was not one of the universal values identified by Professor Seligman and his group, in many ways it is the universal value that every human being appreciates and is capable of delivering.

As Henry James wrote, "Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind."

Kindness to others takes so little effort, yet it is so rarely displayed, especially to strangers and to the multitudes of people that we "interact" with throughout each day. 

In fact, the word "interact" does not adequately describe how most people relate to one another. Our "interactions" tend to be gruff expressions of meaningless chatter conveyed to ease the social awkwardness of people being forced to intermingle with others by the circumstances of yours and their daily existences.

We all too often go through the motions of living and conversing with others without truly thinking about those we interact with and what is their state of mind. Just imagine the impact we could each have if we were able to help others take their minds off their problems, even if only momentarily, simply be interacting and engaging them more fully and more kindly. 

Not only would we put more smiles on faces, we would all feel personally better for our efforts. Talk about a win-win!

Kindness requires just a tad more effort over the empty and insincere expressions of  "how's it going?" and "what's up?" and the equally non-committal replies of "not much" and "the usual" that permeates so many daily encounters between people. A smile, combined with the sincere interest in another and an oral exchange of an explicit personal nature, will make a huge difference in the lives of the other spirits you interact with, as well as in your own life. 

When you see others as spiritual beings resident in a human form, rather than as just other human beings living lives of quiet despair, you will no longer want to keep your daily interactions with others on the periphery of your life. 

Instead, you will come to realize that extending kindness and truly felt pleasantries to others is one of the core components of authentic happiness.  

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Values Associated With Living A Determined Life

Your Values Define Your Character

A global study headed by Dr. Martin Seligman found six core values across all cultures and races:

Wisdom and Knowledge

Courage

Love and Humanity

Justice

Temperance

Spirituality and Transcendence

While these universal values pose a great start for thinking about this topic, here are some other core values commonly associated with Living A Determined Life:

Commitment

Compassion

Courage

Enthusiasm

Fairness

Forgiveness

Generosity

Gratitude

Honesty

Integrity

Justice

Kindness

Mercy

Passion

Persistence

Respect

As we wrote previously on Living Up To Personal Values:  your values define your character and living your values means having character. 

We believe having a clear understanding of our personal values is critical in making decisions when facing life's challenges and opportunities. 

In fact, we encapsulated our personal values into a set of Project You Life Rules, which you can read on the Project You Life website (feel free to make a copy for yourself if you'd like). 

What other Project You Life Rules would you suggest? Please add your suggestions and ideas in the comments section below. 

This article is partially excerpted from the best-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.