Why Are We So Hesitant To Forgive?

To Forgive Is To Set Yourself Free

The Project You Global Survey on Forgiveness late last year confirms that there is a great deal of hesitancy to forgive. This reluctance to take action is one of the key hurdles preventing more forgiveness in the world, both in our personal and professional relationships. 

In this global survey on forgiveness, we asked participants what action they would take with regards to a person with whom they are currently in conflict. We gave three options: forgiveness, revenge, or do nothing. A full 35% of the respondents, who came from 18 different nationalities, chose the "do nothing" option. 

When asked what is holding them back from forgiveness, 31% indicated pride while another 30% said anger. 

Many people are afraid to forgive simply because somehow they feel they must remember the wrong, the hurt, and the paid they experienced in order to learn and retain the lessons from these. This is utter nonsense. 

There is no need for this. You can remember the lessons without having to hang on to the wrong done to you or to constantly suffer from recalling the agony you felt at the time and since. 

Likewise, forgiveness does not excuse the other person's behavior or words. Forgiveness does, however, prevent their behavior and words from razing your emotions, flattening your spirit, and destroying your heart.

This is why Lewis B. Smedes was so correct when he wrote: "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

Personal Year of Forgiveness 

Through our books, our blog, and a series of events we are planning, Project You is dedicated this year to helping people become more conscious of the power of forgiveness and more aware of the numerous benefits of living a forgiving life. 

As such we are also encouraging everyone to make 2017 a Personal Year of Forgiveness by incorporating forgiveness into everything you do, from your New Year's Resolutions and 2017 goal setting to your daily habits. 

Here's why: 

• Practice forgiveness and you will find a higher level of inner peace and happiness. 
• Practice forgiveness and you will increase your ability to love on all fronts. 
• Practice forgiveness and you will become a better individual, partner, friend, parent, and even co-worker. 

Forgive. Let go. Move on.

May this become your personal mantra in 2017 and beyond.