The Gift of Forgiveness

Hanging on to bitterness and resentment is like eating poison and expecting somebody else to die.

One critical aspect of your personal life to focus on is your ability and willingness to forgive others. You cannot embark upon the Project You Life Journey carrying the burdens of anger, hatred, scorn, resentment, or other negative emotions.

Rather, to benefit from this journey, you need to start by cleansing yourself of all  memories of past misdeeds, hurtful comments and wrong doings by others with the crystal clean waters of forgiveness.

Critical to this undertaking is acknowledging and understanding that, as life coach Randall Worley tells us, “Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision.”

In some respects, forgiving others their trespasses against you may be the most beneficial selfish act you can do. Confused? Let us explain.

Most of us think that forgiving someone is to the other person’s benefit. After all, when we forgive someone that person can now go on and live their life without carrying the burden of having harmed us. But think about it, do most people really care if they are forgiven? Aren’t they just going to continue living their lives in their own way, either with you or without you in their lives?

So who truly benefits the most from an act of forgiveness? It is most usually the forgiver rather than the forgiven.

Yes, the forgiven person is usually grateful and relieved when they are compassionately granted absolution or clemency for their misdeeds. And sometimes forgiveness, especially unconditional forgiveness, can be a life-turning event that causes the errant person to permanently mend their ways. But more often the receipt of forgiveness allows the offending person to close the book on that incident and move on without further ado.

However, for the forgiving person, this act has powerful internal paybacks of greater significance. As Robert Muller, who became known as the “Philosopher of the United Nations” writes, “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

Paul Coelho, the Brazilian author of inspirational novels, cites even higher rewards for the act of forgiveness, “The energy of hatred will get you nowhere; but the energy of forgiveness, which reveals itself through love, will transform your life in a positive way.”

Hence, the gift of forgiveness is a greater gift to one’s own self than it is to the person you forgive, for forgiveness provides you with untold peace, happiness, energy, and a positive transformation of your own life.