The Road Map to Authentic Happiness

Compassion, Kindness and Giving Are the Keys to True Happiness 

There is a lot of truth in the old proverb "it is better to give than to receive." 

Perhaps receiving is surface and transient happiness, while giving is deeper and more permanent happiness. After all, anyone who shares, smiles and gives hugs receives a greater happiness through giving than their recipients. 

As the Chinese proverb says, "A bit of perfume always clings to the hand that gives the rose."

You have, no doubt, been exposed to the pithy saying "money cannot buy happiness." As the theologian William Barclay wrote, "The one thing that all men need to learn about joy is that joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstances. It is the simple fact of human experience that a man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy." Substitute the word "happiness" for the word "joy" and Barclay's words are equally resolute.

Since happiness is truly self generated, it is simply a waste of time and effort to try and make other people happy. This is not to say you should not do things for other people that gives them momentary pleasures and happy memories. Far from it. Rather, it is usually not worth the effort to try and change a truly unhappy person into a happy one. This is something which only they can do.

You are never responsible for their unhappiness, nor should you ever shoulder the guilt for another person's unhappiness. If they want to go through a period of their life being unhappy with their circumstances and all that befalls them, you have no choice but to let them do so (painful as this is when it happens to a loved one).

Remember, only those who search within will find the root causes of their happiness. Likewise, only those who search within will discover the underlying causes of their unhappiness. Your role in such situations is to help people look within themselves, but you cannot do this for them.

The best approach in dealing with chronic or constant unhappiness is with compassion. In fact, as The Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Don't worry. (Be happy!) This is not to suggest that you should not enjoy the pleasures and happy moments that life brings. Nor is this a suggestion that you should never give joy, happiness and pleasures to others. You simply need to be aware that these temporary enjoyments are not the ultimate happiness you (or they) want to experience.

Also, this is not to say that you should never offer comfort or support to other people. In fact, it is the opposite. Through kindness and providing comfort to others you are more likely to discover the deep-seated happiness within you.

How you seek out your own happiness will be, naturally, up to you. 

There is really no road map anyone can provide you, though living the principles of a Project You Life Journey will be a good start. This journey will help you discover the true happiness that dwells within you.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats.