Recovering From Tragedy

Let Tragic Events Spur Positive Outcomes 

At the upper end of the loss scale are the big major tragedies that occasionally hit us or someone we know closely.

While the steps above will help get you through the worst of these, there may be some other tactics worthwhile employing that are a bit harder and require more effort, including: 

• Accepting your loss or situation and simply letting go of whatever you once had. In extreme circumstances this may require the same purposeful memory suppression techniques discussed in the previous blog post More Thoughts On Handling Grief and Loss.
• Leverage the duality of change. Every ending or loss is the start of a new beginning, provided you force yourself to see it that way. It may not be the fresh start you had planned or anticipated, but it is the one presented to you. It is up to you to decide what to do with this blank slate. 
• Set boundaries and time limits for your grieving. This may sound cold and calculating, but it is the best way to ensure that your grieving process does not devastate other aspects of your life. You do not need "time to heal" as much as you need to be getting on with your life. 
• Focus relentlessly on the fact that not only is healing possible, it is probable. Unless you stubbornly refuse to allow yourself to move on (in which case someone should seek professional intervention for you), you will heal. Nature provides this outlet for you, but it is up to you to determine how long it will take you to open the door to healing. Knowing that the door is there precedes taking the first step. 
• Accept and embrace the changes that a major loss brings. No matter how devastating the loss, you can turn the resulting changes into something positive: a new direction for your life, a new vision of your life's purpose, finding a new soul mater, or even coming to a fuller and more complete understanding of yourself. 

There is no single, solitary path for coping with a major loss or a tragedy. However, you probably know someone, or heard about someone, who has fully recovered from a tragic event by embracing the fresh start the event provided. Examples include:

·         Divorcees who start dating, develop new relationships and wind up with a more suitable spouse.

·         Parents who adopt after losing a child, providing comfort and a home to a child in need.

·         People who re-build destroyed homes that are more environmentally friendly and require less fossil fuel for heating or cooling.

·         Those who start new business ventures after an existing one collapses.  

·         People who fund major medical research or start support groups after a family member falls victim to a critical illness or disease.

In each example a tragic event spurred a positive outcome. 

And that should be the goal for everyone who has the unfortunate experience of a tragedy in their life. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is also available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon.