Let's Make 2015 The Year of Respect

Having Disrespect For Others Is Akin To Having Disrespect For Yourself

In our previous blog post on respect, Treating People As Rare and Valuable Human Beings, we closed by saying:

Perhaps that is what the true essence of respect is all about ── treating people as if they were what they ought to be (instead of how you might be currently perceiving them).

Here's some more advice on respect, which is excerpted from a booklet called Lessons From Sports by college football coach Todd Dodge:

Respect your opponent.

Never get full of yourself, or you may get ambushed.

Don't ever think you have arrived. Don't be intimidated, but do give respect to your opponent.

You have to pay your dues and prove yourself before being promoted.

Be the perfect gentleman off the field and the ultimate competitor on the field.

Be grateful for what you have and for the support of those around you.

The importance of respect, and showing respect to others, cannot be overstated as a key ingredient of a Project You Life Journey. In our interconnected universe, having disrespect for others is akin to having disrespect for all, including ourselves.

A goal for everyone in 2015 should be to raise the level of respect in our daily lives. This means exhibiting respect to others, and even stepping in when we witness incidents of disrespect, either in the workplace or in our personal lives.  

Let’s each make 2015 the Year of Respect. 

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. 

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. - See more at: http://projectyoulifeblog.blogspot.com/#sthash.9kzj4q6G.dpuf

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. - See more at: http://projectyoulifeblog.blogspot.com/#sthash.9kzj4q6G.dpuf

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. - See more at: http://projectyoulifeblog.blogspot.com/#sthash.9kzj4q6G.dpuf

Respect: Treating People As Rare and Valuable Human Beings

Treating People As They Ought To Be

Fred Rogers, who had a famous television show in America called Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, had an interesting, almost altruistic, attitude about respect, one that very few people today would practice or preach:

As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has ─ or ever will have ─ something inside that is unique all the time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.

 In a similar vein, Lee Atwater, a political consultant and presidential advisor, proclaimed, "There is nothing more important in life than human beings, nothing sweeter than the human touch."

If Atwater's thoughts are anywhere near close to truth, then we all need to show greater respect to each of our fellow human beings. And there's probably no better time to begin than the present.

The ability to forgive is a core component of respect, for the art of forgiveness is an explicit display of respecting another person's universal strengths and human weaknesses.

Some very good advice comes courtesy of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German writer from the early 19th century: "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming."

Perhaps that is what the true essence of respect is all about ── treating people as if they were what they ought to be (instead of how you might be currently perceiving them).

And in doing so, we help them discover their uniqueness and help them provide ways of developing and expressing their uniqueness.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in eBook and paperback at Amazon.

Time To Bring Back Respect Into Our Daily Lives

Respect Means Treating Each Other As Human Beings

The overall level of respect across all aspects of society seems to have deteriorated in recent years.

Evidence of this includes the profane language that permeates today's music, films and television shows; as well as the plethora of self-interest actions and abuses of power by persons of authority, politicians and business leaders.

While this has yet to reach a crescendo, there is little doubt of the escalation of disrespect being exhibited today. As Gail Pursell Elliott, who is known as The Dignity and Respect Lady wrote, "As a society, we have come to a point where people too often treat one another as objects and opportunities, rather than as fellow human beings. Respecting one another as individuals, or not doing so, seriously impacts the future of all of us."

Having respect for other cultures and other people is extremely important as today's world becomes more interconnected and all of us are more frequently exposed to opportunities to interact with people from other cultures and backgrounds. One has to be careful, however, not to fall into the trap of ethnocentricity, which basically means believing that the values, beliefs and rules of one's own culture are the only valid ones or are automatically superior to all others.

Not only is such a belief system wrong and highly misleading, it also results in a very limited mindset that prevents you from learning from others. Once you begin to explore the world and other cultures, you will quickly learn that other societies, people and cultures have values, beliefs, rules, and protocols that are no better or worse than your own ── just different.

It is important that you respect these different values, beliefs, rules, and protocols, especially when you are in their cultural environment. Doing so will make you feel comfortable and at home everywhere across this magnificent planet. 

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. 

This article is excerpted from our book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in eBook and paperback formats. 

Be True To Your Values

Principles and Values Require 100% Commitment and Dedication

One of the most important things about principles is to understand that you cannot impose your values on others.

For instance, suppose you place a high value on punctuality, but your partner does not. Any efforts you make to impose your value of punctuality on your partner will undoubtedly lead to numerous spats followed by many moments of anguish and despair.

When you make judgments of others based on your principles, friction ensues.

One aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to leverage your values with courage in your decisions and actions, combined with the ability to do so in consideration of the feelings and convictions of others.

Another aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to understand how the values of others form a foundation for their own decisions and actions, even when these are not acceptable to you or are in direct opposition to your own views and convictions.

When you are emotionally mature you can have a great deal of ego strength, while maintaining respect and empathy for others.

Your principles require 100% commitment and dedication. They are not something to be pulled out of your wallet or purse and used to pay for your experiences in life like some kind of values credit card.

Be unflinching in your commitment to your principles. As Denis Waitley has written, "Moderation in temper is always a virtue. Moderation in principle is always a vice."

And lastly, by all means stick to your principles through hardships, turmoil, disappointments, heartaches, and in those moments when it seems like life would be easier if you just made a little compromise here or there. When it comes to your principles, there is no such thing as a "little" compromise.

In the words of Thomas Jefferson, "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

One of the best ways to live a Project You Life will be, to paraphrase Shakespeare's famous line, to thine own values be true. 

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and eBook formats. 

Knowing and Understanding Your Principles

Your Inner Spirit Will Guide You

No one can teach you which principles to inculcate within yourself, for the simple reason that what works for some may not work for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everybody else is absolutely unique.

There is no magic formula for always living up to your personal values, though this advice from philanthropist W. Clement Stone comes close:

Have the courage to say no.

Have the courage to face the truth.

Do the right thing because it is right.

These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

The importance of knowing and understanding your principles cannot be over emphasized. As William F. Scolavino said, "The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions."

Your inner spirit, usually speaking to you via your conscience, will always have a full understanding of your true principles. Listen and obey your conscience. It speaks to you through an inner voice telling you things that we often refer to as hunches or gut feelings. 

Trust your hunches and gut feelings, for these are based on facts, principles and values that are coded and ingrained at your unconscious, spiritual level.

In other words: trust yourself. 

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Principles are the Foundation for a Meaningful and Worthwhile Life

Consciously Live According To Your Values and Principles

Values form your principles.

For instance, having a core value for integrity results in a principle never to tell a lie or hide the whole truth from someone.

Like values, principles should be put into a hierarchical structure, as at times two or more of your principles may be in conflict. It is important that you organize your principles by priority, based on which is most important to you.

For example, how would you handle a situation where a friend or colleague is about to drive off from a party in an inebriated state? He says he's fine to drive, but you think he should not be driving.

Does your principle of not interfering in other people's personal decisions overrule your principle of believing that drunk driving is wrong? Or vice versa? Will you be willing to risk the friendship or workplace relationship to prevent a possible tragedy?

If you respond with "it depends on who the person is" or "it depends on how high he appears to be," you are taking a situational approach and not a principled one.

If you decide that you place a higher value on not interfering in someone's personal decisions over the principle that drunk driving is wrong, then that is your hierarchical ranking for these two principles.

Your individual principles need to be formed around the great values of life, things like truth, love, the sanctity of life, integrity, being a person of your word, justice, fairness, friendship, spirituality, etc.

Despite the current trend of modern humanity to focus on happiness and pleasure as the cornerstones of life, do not think that matters of principle are old fashioned or past their use-by date. They are not and deep down they never will be.

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well.

The bottom line is simple: principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

No one can teach you which principles to inculcate within yourself, for the simple reason that what works for some may not work for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everybody else is absolutely unique.

This also means that you are responsible for living a principle-centered life. You, and only you, know how to consciously live according to your values and principles.

Thus, always keep asking yourself: “what am I doing to ensure that I am consciously living according to my values and principles?”

Have Principles Based on Core Personal Values

Consciously Live According To Your Values and Principles

Personal Values define your character and are critical keys to Living A Determined Life.

As we wrote previously on Living Up To Personal Values, the actions and decisions of people who are in tune with their core personal values usually fall within their own comfort zones, mostly because of the alignment of their actions and decisions with their personal values.

This is why those who are in close touch with their own personal values tend not to have major catastrophes and calamities in their lives, at least not until they engage in actions or activities that are not congruent with their personal values.

A core aspect of your personal values are your principles. Principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well.

There will be times in your life when you are called upon to stand up for your principles, especially if you have principles based on your core personal values.

These moments need not be major, life-defining incidents. Rather, they often crop up during mundane day-to-day activities. When you take action in accordance with your principles, often called living up to your principles, the glow of self satisfaction can be immense and is reward enough in itself.

However, when you do not act in harmony with your principles, a little piece of you dies inside and your soul becomes uncomfortable and agitated.

A lot of the literature we read and the stories we hear while growing up feature characters struggling or learning to formulate their principles and act accordingly. One common lesson in most of these stories is that principles are not situational, something many people forget when becoming adults and entering "the real world."

Principles are the rocks upon which your decisions for action should be made. Your principles help ensure that you live up to your personal values, and thus need to be solidly entrenched in your psyche and persona. As Edward R. Lyman wrote:

Principle ─ particularly moral principle ─ can never be a weathervane, spinning around this way and that with the shifting winds of expediency. Moral principle is a compass forever fixed and forever true.

Today is a good day to pause and reflect upon your principles. How would you list and define your principles? How do you want to live in tune with these in the coming year? How can you use these to make better decisions in your personal and professional life?

And most important: how are you ensuring that you consciously live according to your values and principles? 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in eBook and paperback at Amazon.