Creating Authentic Interpersonal Relationships

Authentic Values and Qualities Create True Friendships 

It is natural to want others to like us; to find us enchanting, likable, friendly, attractive, engaging, personable, worthwhile, approachable, and dozens of other positive descriptors. 

Except for those who dwell within the Self Actualization segment in the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs, everyone wants people to like them, even those who say they don't care what people think about them.

In fact, it is natural to care about what others think about you. It is also natural to have a desire to be respected, appreciated, loved, wanted, and viewed positively. Social scientists say that interactions with others are a vital component of our sense of self esteem, overall happiness, and even feelings of well being. 

Likewise, when we experience rejection, hear that someone has been bad mouthing us, or find out that someone does not like us our levels of self esteem, happiness and well being are negatively affected. It is not unusual for personal rejection to cause momentary bouts of deep pain, emotional outbursts and even intense sadness.

Being accepted by others is one of the key rungs on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. So to say that this is an important facet of our human journey is a bit of an understatement. 

Unfortunately, most of us put up false fronts and use a myriad of disguises in vain attempts to attract others to us, or for us to get invited into desired circles and groups. These attempts at trying to make others like us, even when it means sacrificing part of our persona or authenticity, is nothing more than a game of masks and false identities. It is also a futile endeavor, especially over the long haul of one's life journey.

It is probably due to the falsity of the approaches used by everyone playing this game that most non-family friendships and relationships throughout one's life are temporary and impermanent. Very few relationships and friendships can withstand the scrutiny of reality when the masks and false fronts are removed, and the true and authentic selves emerge over time. It is little wonder that the label "false friend" is readily applied when friendships and relationships end in acrimonious, bitter and spiteful fashion.

The secret to creating authentic relationships is to know, understand, respect, and love yourself. 

Once you are authentic with yourself, you can be authentic with others. Authentic people do not judge themselves or others, but rather seek authenticity in others and base their relationships on the type and level of authenticity found.

Being attractive to the kinds of people you want, desire, or need in your life means exuding your authenticity in every action taken (or not taken) and every word spoken (or not spoken).  

When others witness and experience your own authentic values and qualities, the ones you will attract into your life are more likely to be genuinely appreciative of your values and qualities. They are also more likely to be emotionally, mentally and spiritually in-tune with your emotional, mental and spiritual selves. 

This article is excerpted from our book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Being Happy vs. Happiness

You Have A Right To Determine Your Own Happiness 

There is a significant difference between being happy and authentic happiness, as discussed in the Project You Life blog earlier this month.

Being happy is akin to joy, pleasure, elation, delight and other short-term feelings. Such experiential feelings of being happy are like a drug. As soon as the effect of one happy incident wears off, you go in search of the next thing, person or event that will bring another temporary feeling of enjoyment, gratification or being happy.

For many people, the main cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what they truly and deeply want most (authentic happiness) for something that they want at a particular moment, in the hopes of gaining immediate pleasure or happiness. This is a sure recipe for trouble. As the Indian spiritual teacher Nisargadatta Maharaj said, "All search for happiness is misery and leads to more misery."

Happiness does not come from the outside world. Only you can make yourself happy ── through your reactions, thoughts and other feelings. In fact, it is often said that it takes the same amount of work and effort to make one's self happy as it does to be unhappy.

You have a right to determine your own happiness, and the best way to attain true happiness is to be yourself and live A Determined Life based on your values. If others do not like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life, especially A Determined Life, is not about pleasing everybody.

As Ralph Martson, writer and publisher of The Daily Motivator website, newsletter and associated products, said, "You don't need anyone else's permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone else says it is, but because you choose to see it as such." 

As we often say and write: true happiness comes from within and dwells in each of us.

Additionally, because you live in an interdependent world in an interconnected universe, authentic happiness is often attained by helping others or being deeply involved in something bigger than yourself. 

Hence, sometimes the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer up somebody else. As the old adage goes, "When you see a person without a smile, give them one of yours."

The simple reality of life is that you cannot always be happy. Part of the human journey is to experience the sad parts of life: rejection, disappointment, love that flames out, pain, wishes that go unfulfilled, death, tragedy, conflict, remorse, etc.

However, through the living of A Determined Life, you can attain and maintain Authentic Happiness. 

This article has been partially excerpted from our top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Benefits Of Being A Life-Long Learner

Including Learning from the Lessons of Life 

There are some significant benefits to be gleaned from being a life-long learner, including:

·         Earning more money by enhancing your professional skills or learning new ones.

·         Becoming stronger emotionally as you augment your understanding of your drives, passions, emotions, and triggers.

·         Being more confident in groups and other social situation, for an increased knowledge base will help you become a more engaging and conversant person.

·         Maintaining the health of your brain which, like muscles, will atrophy if not exercised and used.

Another excellent method for learning is to travel, especially to other countries where you can see and engage with other cultures. Traveling provides many outstanding  opportunities to learn and expand your personal knowledge and horizons. In addition, there are numerous specific educational travel programs that combine formal learning with authentic experiences.

Life will also be one of your greatest teachers. Some things you can only learn through experience. For instance, how can you learn to overcome defeat if you never lose? Or how can you truly learn about the beauty and miracle of child birth if you never witness one? Through your life experiences you will also learn about love, what gives you joy, the pleasures of helping another, and the contentment of self satisfaction.

Of course, the lessons of life also include disappointment, sorrow, fear, confusion, frustration, anger, and loneliness. On the other hand, some of the greatest growth and learning you receive will come from such painful lessons.

Either way, good or painful, the lessons that come from living are an important part of your personal journey. 

Go through life not as a spectator or bystander, but as a fully engaged participant. The more you participate, the more life will teach you. 

Knowledge comes not from the events you experience, but from studying, thinking, pondering, and contemplating the how, what and why behind your experiences. 

This article is excerpted from our top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Be A Life-Long Learner

Learning To Think For Yourself 

There are three ways we learn ── kinetically (touch and feel), visually (through the eyes) and orally (hearing). 

Each of us has specific preferences and strengths for learning. For instance, some have a better capacity to learn and remember something they read over something they hear. Others learn best kinetically through doing and experiencing. And some learn best simply by watching others perform.

With the advent of the Internet, we all now have access to a vast store of information. And thanks to Google and other search engines, it is also easy to locate facts, figures and basic information on just about any subject or topic.

However, facts, figures and basic information are not knowledge. Knowledge comes from thinking about the implications and possibilities of these facts, figures and pieces of information. Knowledge and learning come from contemplation, analysis and the internalization of the data at hand. This is what makes learning how to learn so important.

It is also why reading books is so important. You need to read what others have thought in order to form your own judgments, opinions and beliefs. You won't get this from Google or lazy Internet searches for facts, data and information. You must dive into books. 

Good authors help put information into context and will help you put information into the context of your own life. As Stephen R. Covey wrote, "An educated conscience impacts every aspect of our lives."

The desire for life-long learning is not sated only by books. Magazines, newsletters, blogs, documentaries, and even some websites are all reservoirs of immense information and  the occasional pearl of wisdom. 

All of these resources will help you learn how to think for yourself, an important skill for those on a Project You Life Journey. 

As Oscar Wilde said, "A man who does not think for himself does not think at all." 

This article is excerpted from our top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Being An Authentic You

Revel in the freedom to be yourself by Living A Determined Life. 

Some people try to impress, through fancy titles, clothes, cars, lifestyles, social standing, and other overt displays of perceived success. Sadly, many seek happiness and acceptance this way. Unfortunately, they do not see that they are giving up the freedom to truly be themselves in exchange for these so-called status symbols.

However, those for whom such symbols have little meaning are free from the need to covet and crave them. While they care, to a lesser degree, how other people perceive them, the only standards that matter and concern them are the ones they set themselves. The primary (and sometimes solely) source of acceptance they seek is the one from themselves. They find value in themselves, not from being accepted by others.

As such, these people truly know how it feels to have the freedom to be themselves. And that is a freedom to which you are entitled, no matter what your station or situation in life happens to be.

You have the universal right and freedom to be you. You have the universal right to be free from feeling that you have to please other people or conform to the standards and dictates of others. You are free to be you and to ignore the expectations of others that do not feel right to you.

As the lovable Dr. Seuss penned, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  

After all, at the end of your journey, you don't want to be asking yourself, "Why wasn't I more like me? How did I get off track from being me?"

Real success in life comes from being true to yourself. If you listen carefully, your spirit will be the one guiding you best on this journey and keeping you on track. That feeling in your gut and that soft, shallow voice in your head telling you that you are not being yourself is your spirit communicating with you.

Being you is a challenging and rewarding undertaking, but nobody can perform the job as well as you. Our blog posts over the next week will provide you some additional ideas and guideposts on how to carry out the job of being you. 

For more great quotes on how to live a determined life, see our book Project You: Words of Wisdom, at Amazon.

Free To Be You

Be Yourself. All Others Are Already Taken. 

The easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. But sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to be yourself.

Why the apparent contradiction?

Because throughout your life many people will be pushing and pulling you to be something else, something they want you to be. But you do not want to conform to other people's desires and standards. You want to be true to yourself.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else," said poet E. E. Cummings, "is to fight the hardest battle there is and never stop fighting."

Or, as Oscar Wilde said, "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." 

Only you get to decide what you will do, when you will do it, and how much effort you will put into it. Only you get to decide what is of importance to you. Only you set your own standards, morals, principles, and values.

Sure, others will try to exert influence on many aspects of your life and your character. Such influence, however, is not decision-making authority. At the end of the day, all decisions about you, your future and your path are yours and yours only.

The greater the depth of your own self understanding, the greater will be your control and confidence in the decisions you make about yourself and your future. There is no need to please anyone else, much less everyone else, and thus you need not try. 

You are free to be you. It's what we call Living A Determined Life.

This article is excerpted from our top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

The Road Map to Authentic Happiness

Compassion, Kindness and Giving Are the Keys to True Happiness 

There is a lot of truth in the old proverb "it is better to give than to receive." 

Perhaps receiving is surface and transient happiness, while giving is deeper and more permanent happiness. After all, anyone who shares, smiles and gives hugs receives a greater happiness through giving than their recipients. 

As the Chinese proverb says, "A bit of perfume always clings to the hand that gives the rose."

You have, no doubt, been exposed to the pithy saying "money cannot buy happiness." As the theologian William Barclay wrote, "The one thing that all men need to learn about joy is that joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstances. It is the simple fact of human experience that a man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy." Substitute the word "happiness" for the word "joy" and Barclay's words are equally resolute.

Since happiness is truly self generated, it is simply a waste of time and effort to try and make other people happy. This is not to say you should not do things for other people that gives them momentary pleasures and happy memories. Far from it. Rather, it is usually not worth the effort to try and change a truly unhappy person into a happy one. This is something which only they can do.

You are never responsible for their unhappiness, nor should you ever shoulder the guilt for another person's unhappiness. If they want to go through a period of their life being unhappy with their circumstances and all that befalls them, you have no choice but to let them do so (painful as this is when it happens to a loved one).

Remember, only those who search within will find the root causes of their happiness. Likewise, only those who search within will discover the underlying causes of their unhappiness. Your role in such situations is to help people look within themselves, but you cannot do this for them.

The best approach in dealing with chronic or constant unhappiness is with compassion. In fact, as The Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Don't worry. (Be happy!) This is not to suggest that you should not enjoy the pleasures and happy moments that life brings. Nor is this a suggestion that you should never give joy, happiness and pleasures to others. You simply need to be aware that these temporary enjoyments are not the ultimate happiness you (or they) want to experience.

Also, this is not to say that you should never offer comfort or support to other people. In fact, it is the opposite. Through kindness and providing comfort to others you are more likely to discover the deep-seated happiness within you.

How you seek out your own happiness will be, naturally, up to you. 

There is really no road map anyone can provide you, though living the principles of a Project You Life Journey will be a good start. This journey will help you discover the true happiness that dwells within you.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Happiness vs. Being Happy

There is a difference between the state of happiness and being happy. 

Seeking happiness through experiences and pleasures rarely works. 

As the social writer and philosopher Eric Hoffer noted, "The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness." 

Adds English novelist C. P. Snow, "The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."

Novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne described the search for happiness this way: "Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

There is a difference between the state of happiness and being happy, having pleasure and experiencing enjoyment. The latter are short-term, temporary feelings based on experiences and thoughts. To put it simply: going to the movies can make you happy, but it has nothing to do with true happiness.

Helen Keller said that true happiness "is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." 

From a Project You Life perspective, that worthy purpose of which she wrote is living a meaningful and full life, as defined by Dr. Seligman:

The meaningful life: using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are.

A full life: experience the positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from the pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning.

The Greek philosopher Democritus said, "Happiness resides not in possessions or gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul."

What else dwells in the soul? 

Caring, giving and kindness are all inherent characteristics of our souls. 

Perhaps, therefore, a key path to happiness comes from caring about others and giving kindness and help to others. 

Could these be the fundamental causes of real happiness? 

The greater our giving and kindness, the greater is our spiritual and innate happiness. Hence, increase your giving and kindness and you are likely to be rewarded with greater spiritual and authentic happiness. 

Uncertain about such a connection? Well, it won't hurt you to try!  

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle ($6.88) and paperback ($7.89) formats. 

True Happiness Comes From Within

Authentic Happiness Dwells Within Each of Us 

Where does true happiness come from? Here are two perspectives:

It is not the level of prosperity that makes for happiness but the kinship of heart to heart and the way we look at the world. Both attitudes are within our power. A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy, and no one can stop him. Alexander Solzhenitsyn

The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly, rather than hostile. Bertrand Russell

Dr. Martin Seligman, the best-selling author and University of Pennsylvania psychologist, has greatly advanced the thinking on happiness in recent years. In his book Authentic Happiness he shows how happiness can be cultivated by identifying, understanding and augmenting traits we already possess ── such as kindness, originality, humor, optimism, and generosity. He calls these "signature strengths" that can guide individuals to make positive choices that result in more meaningful, and therefore more authentically happy, lives.

Dr. Seligman makes it clear that there is a difference between authentic happiness and the pop culture kind, which tells you, in the beautiful lyrics of Carole King:

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart.

Then people are going to treat you better.

You're going to find, yes you will, that you're beautiful as you feel.

While there is a ring of truth to what King sings, it does not correlate with true happiness. 

Yes, there is nothing wrong with having a positive and happy attitude and showing the world a smile on your face. In fact, such an approach has numerous benefits. However, this merely results in surface happiness, not the deep spiritual kind that comes from living one's values and achieving one's desires.

Happiness that results from life experiences is like a drug. As soon as the effects of one happy incident wears off, you go in search of the next thing that will bring another temporary feeling of enjoyment or being happy.

This is what leads the Charlie Sheens and Tiger Woods of the world astray. Those who cannot find peace and happiness within are doomed to constantly fill their personal enjoyment quotients with on-going, meaningless experiences that keep their happy tanks full.

Pleasure, of course, is a powerful source of motivation. Unfortunately, pleasure does not produce long-lasting change. Rather, it is a disruptive force that builds upon itself and drives our desires to satisfy current (temporary) needs or to simply want to enjoy creature comfort and relaxation, through more short-term pleasures and experiences.

If you cannot find happiness in watching children play in a park, in a beautiful sunrise or in the peace and quiet of a still day, it is unlikely you will find happiness within. 

How you seek out your own happiness will be, naturally, up to you. There is really no road map anyone can provide you, though living the principles of a Project You Life Journey will be a good start. This journey will help you discover the true happiness that dwells within you. 

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle ($6.88) and paperback ($7.89) formats.  

Happiness Is Solely Within Your Domain and Control

Your Happiness Does Not Depend On Others, Things or Events 

Bob Marley tells us "don't worry, be happy" in his song of the same name, and being happy seems to be one of the key focal points of today's human experience.

Being unhappy also now seems to be a valid reason for quitting anything that isn't working out the way one wants (i.e. don't stay in a marriage if it does not make you happy, change jobs if you are not happy with the current one).

If Marley's lyrics are not a philosophy of life for most, then certainly the desire to "have a nice day" seems to reign imperative for many.

It is interesting to note that happiness has not always been a central tenet in philosophy or religious teaching. Back in the mid 1600s, Thomas Hobbes, in his seminal work Leviathan, wrote that the natural condition of man is "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short." Few in civil society today would depict life so harshly, though undoubtedly many in Africa, India and other regions would.

There is a significant difference between happiness and being happy. Happiness, like all feelings, is found within. And it is created and infiltrated by your thoughts and attitude.

The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus was one of the first to understand this concept. He wrote: "The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things." Ideally this is how a Project You Life would be lived.

The very wise Epictetus also propounded that: "Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within your control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental role and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible."

In essence, what Epictetus and many others since him postulate is that happiness is enhanced and enriched by others, but does not depend on others. 

This is an important notion to grasp. Your happiness does not depend on any other person, thing or event! It is solely within your domain and control.

This makes a great deal of sense when you stop and think about it. 

After all, external sources of pleasure, enjoyment and happiness are typically brief, fleeting, inconsistent, precarious, ephemeral, and highly subject to change. 

Looking for peace, contentment or happiness from the outside world is a wasted effort, particularly once you realize that true happiness resides within you.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Authentic Satisfaction and Happiness

Be All That You Can Be 

Authentic satisfaction and happiness comes partially through reaching your full potential. Some tips for achieving this:

·         Live in "prime time" rather than watching prime time TV.

·         Life is a collection of memories, not of material things. Collect what truly matters.

·         Aim not for what you are. Aim not for what you can be without effort. Aim for what you could be.

·         The most important thing about motivation is goal setting. You have to have a goal, a desired outcome, in mind.

·         The achievement of one goal is simply the starting point for another. Build upon each achievement to climb your own personal ladder of success.

·         Successful people are opportunity minded. Do not be problem minded. Problems are merely opportunities clothed to deceive. Nourish your opportunities and give sufficient attention to problems to turn them into recognizable and attainable opportunities.

·         Expect greatness of yourself. In the words of John Steinbeck, "It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him."

Every one of us has options about what we will do with our lives and what we will make of ourselves along our respective journeys. However, no matter what paths we each choose and whatever options we each select, once our individual decisions are made we all have basically two choices:

1)      to be less than what we have the capacity to become, or

2)     to be all that we can be, to strive as best we can with the skills we have and the circumstances given.

The first option leads to an empty life, even if material reward and recognition are gleaned.

The second option leads to a life fulfilled with an abundance of true self satisfaction and authentic happiness that no man or woman can ever take away. It is what we call Living A Determined Life. 

Which option will you choose? 

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle ($6.88) and paperback ($7.89) formats. 

Reaching Your Full Potential

Leverage Your Desire to Become More and More of What You Are 

In the Project You philosophy, success is the on-going process of becoming better, of striving to become the best that you are truly capable of being, in whatever endeavors you choose. 

Project You people are always expanding themselves ── intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, or even physically (at least health wise). Doing so rewards them with the authentic satisfaction and happiness they seek.

You will not find directional signs, helpful hint cards or a detailed map when you choose your path to success. The road to success is a progressive journey full of bumps, hurdles, helpful people, intermittent small victories, occasional spurts of unbridled happiness, unexpected setbacks, and other things both good and bad.

As you pass each milestone and marker along the way, and overcome the hurdles and obstacles placed before you, the journey becomes easier ── provided the lessons of experience are learned and followed.

In many ways, the journey to success correlates with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid, which he developed as part of a paper on human motivation. People stop at the level they feel most comfortable with, which for most seems to be satisfying their need for love and belonging through friendships, family and sexual intimacy. A handful will progress to the higher level of self-esteem and having the respect of others. Only the very few proceed to the peak of his pyramid, which is known as the self-actualization level.

You will rise to the level at which you feel most comfortable, which is fine. This is not a competition and the pyramid structure does not define a finish line for everyone atop the peak. We all have different needs and thus reach our own authentic level of satisfaction based on the fulfillment of those personalized needs.

Maslow described self-actualization as "the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." 

Thus, the person who wants to be an ideal parent is on par with one who wishes to be an exemplary teacher. Both will achieve self-actualization if they reach their full potential in their chosen aspirations. 

Do you have a desire to become more of what you are? Our 30-60-90 Day Personal Action plan may help:  http://www.livingadeterminedlife.com/personal-change-action-plan 

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Success, Satisfaction and Happiness

Expanding and Growing Yourself is a path to the authentic happiness and satisfaction you seek. 

Thanks to the self-help and personal development industries, there are probably more words written on success than any other subject.

As you might imagine, there are as many definitions of success as there are authors. Here's a substantive sampling:

Success is doing your own thing, for the benefit of others. Denis Waitley

A life isn't significant save for its impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson

Your success in life will be in direct proportion to what you do after you do what you are expected to do. Brian Tracy

If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all. Anna Quindlen

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: try to please everybody. Herbert Bayward Swope

Be yourself, be tenacious, be kind and be thankful. This is the short recipe for success and happiness in life. Chris Widener

Success is not so much what we have as it is what we are. Jim Rohn

Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves, to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterdays by our today.  Stewart B. Johnson

You are successful when others benefit from your efforts. You are unsuccessful when others are diminished by what you do. Arthur Dobrin

Meaningful success needs a very personal definition. It is built from the inside out. The success of others has nothing to do with your own success. Denis Waitley

We believe one of the best definition of success comes from legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden: "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

In the Project You philosophy, success is the on-going process of becoming better, of striving to become the best that you are truly capable of being, in whatever endeavors you choose. 

Project You people are always expanding themselves ── intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, or even physically (at least health wise). Doing so rewards them with the authentic satisfaction and happiness they seek. 

How are you expanding yourself today? If you're feeling a bit off-track, read about our Mid-Year Resolutions initiative and have a look at our 4-step process for re-igniting your dreams and personal development goals. 

This article is partially excerpted from the Amazon top-ranked motivational ebook Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in Kindle ($3.88) and paperback ($6.45) formats.  

Passion Leads to Authentic Happiness and Greater Self Satisfaction

Keep Rekindling Your Passion

There will be times when your inner fire goes out. 

At such times you will need to reflect and resolve whether it is the passion for a particular project, event, person, or thing that has gone out, or if it is something on a larger scale. It may, in fact, be an overall cloud impacting numerous aspects of your life. This happens.

Whatever the cause, reflection, reading inspirational and thought-provoking authors, and increasing your health and fitness will combine to supply you with the spiritual, emotional and physical energy needed to help you through such periods of waning passion. The most important thing is for you to know how to rekindle your flames of passion, as the method for each of us differs.

Passion will help you through good times and bad. When there is no passion the deep-down desire to do a thing is lacking. When there is passion, the desire to do something often becomes the power to do it.

As Anthony Robbins says, "There is no greatness without a passion to be great, whether it's the aspiration of an athlete or artist, a scientist, a parent or a business person."

Here is one of the beauties of life. Greatness does not require performing on a world stage, or even a national one. Greatness is equal whether found in a superior athlete like Michael Jordan, in a scientist like Albert Einstein, in a chef in a local restaurant, or in a school teacher who unearths or triggers the imagination and creativity of her students.

The key to all such greatness is the passion found in the inner core of these people. Their greatness results from their passions. 

As the great 19th century American writer Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Nothing great has ever been accomplished without enthusiasm." 

What are you passionate about? Which of your passions needs rekindling at this moment? 

Today is a great time to stop and reflect on your passions, and how to spend more time on the things for which you are most passionate. 

Doing so will help keep you on the path of Living A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from our top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats.  

Be Passionate. Be Enthusiastic. About Your Life.

Ask Yourself What Makes You Come Alive 

Nido Qubein, a noted motivational speaker, often tells his audiences, "Enthusiastic people experience life from the inside out." 

When you bring your passion to life you impact your own world, rather than letting outside influences impact you.

Almost all of us have greater passion as children, or young adults, than during our later years. Fortunately it is not difficult to rekindle that youthful passion. It simply takes knowing what burns inside you and concentrating on methods for bringing your passion to the surface and into the world. 

One key to success comes from the writer John Eldredge: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who come alive."

Your passions are your inner truths. Understand this and rely on this knowledge. 

Also, as Benjamin Disraeli wrote, "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."

Passion is at the opposite extreme of indifference. Here is a great anonymous quote on indifference that may help you cast off the shackles of lethargy and use your inner passion to help you strive for authentic satisfaction and happiness:

Indifference never wrote great works, nor thought out striking inventions, nor reared the solemn architecture that awes the soul, nor breathed sublime music, nor painted glorious pictures, nor undertook heroic philanthropies. All these grandeurs are born of enthusiasm, and are done heartily.

Life is not a spectator sport, but a participatory one. This is what Living A Determined Life is all about. 

It matters not if you are involved in something big or small, globally grandiose or locally rooted. As long as you have a passion for it, and this passion drives you to be fully engaged and involved, you will be closer to achieving authentic satisfaction and happiness.

As Denis Waitley wrote, "Get excited and enthusiastic about your own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire ─ you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away." He also wrote, "Chase your passion, not your pension." 

That is very good advice indeed.

This article is partially excerpted from our top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Striving For Authentic Happiness and Personal Satisfaction

Passion Will Help You Through the Good Times and Bad

A Project You Life is a self-driven journey for the creation of Living A Determined Life.

One of the vital ingredients of Living A Determined Life is satisfaction determined by the self, with authentic personal satisfaction resulting from living up to your personal values and being involved with something bigger and larger than yourself.

The Project You Life Journey focuses on developing a deep-seated comprehension of your principles, passions and life's purpose. Those who fully understand and acknowledge their principles and passions are more likely to determine their life's purpose. When your principles and life's purpose are aligned, passion becomes the multiplier effect that increases the probability of desired outcomes and leads to the living of Living A Determined Life.

Passion

I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don't do things half-heartedly because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results.

Michael Jordan

This is what passion is all about ── putting your heart and soul into something.

With passion you will get as much pleasure ─ sometimes more ─ from doing something as you will get in achieving it. For example, a passionate artist can get as much pleasure while painting as he does from seeing his completed work.

When you put passion into your efforts to strive forward, in anything you do, you have a much greater chance of attaining authentic satisfaction and happiness, both from your actual endeavors and from whatever results occur.

Richard J. Leider, a Life Coach tells his clients, "Our world is incomplete until each one of us discovers what moves us ── our passions. No other person can hear our calling. We must listen and act on it for ourselves."

Passion and enthusiasm are nearly interchangeable words. Nearly, but not completely. Inherent within passion, though not within enthusiasm, is a deeply burning fire inside a person that provides greater self motivation and commitment. One will not easily give up that for which he or she has a passion.

When you can bring passion into a symbiotic relationship with your desires, you are well on your way to achieving your desires and dreams (assuming you put in the hard work, remain committed and do not allow setbacks to deter you).

Here's what two of the early founders of the self-development industry had to say about passion and enthusiasm:

The starting point for all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. Napoleon Hill

The key that unlocks energy is desire. It's also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited.  Earl Nightingale

Passion will help you through good times and bad. When there is no passion the deep-down desire to do a thing is lacking. When there is passion, the desire to do something often becomes the power to do it.

We'll have more thoughts on passion in the next Project You Life Blog post. 

In the meantime, take 15 minutes with pen and paper and start a list of the things you are passionate about. Then, later today, spend another 30 minutes adding to this list and thinking of ways you can spend more time on these things.

This article is partially excerpted from our top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats.