Sunday, February 1, 2015

Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts

Self Respect Comes From Total, Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself

You need not be controlled by your thoughts. In fact, you have immense control over your own thoughts, even the subconscious ones. Scientific studies have shown that the subconscious mind can only think what it is told. It cannot create new thought patterns by itself; but only through external stimuli.
Thus, if you tell yourself you are sad, unhappy or angry, then that is what your subconscious will believe and hence will direct you to act accordingly. However, if you tell yourself that you have a significant number of things to be grateful for, no matter how dire the current circumstances may seem, then you will approach your situation in a more positive, optimistic and happier manner.
The key is to fully understand yourself and how you allow situations, comments, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions impact you. As Nido Qubein has written, "Total, unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step in building a positive self-image." 
As mentioned in our previous post on Self Respect, you have to weed out the negative thoughts circulating in your inner talk. Like weeds in a garden, such thoughts need to be killed, not pruned. 
For many, gaining ─ and maintaining ─ self respect is often the most arduous part of the Project You Life Journey. It takes time, patience and commitment. It takes a willingness to test self imposed boundaries. It takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with one's self.

And, of course, it takes the ability to love all mankind as well as yourself. As the writer Joan Didion penned, "To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything." 
Our book, Project You: Living A Determined Life, is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect.