Patience With Ourselves Has Many Benefits

Patience is both a Virtue and a Tool of Personal Success

The Project You Life Journey is a long, continuous one, with a destination set by you and at a pace established by you.

This is not a journey of perfection, but one of nonstop and unremitting improvement. The objective is to aim for a continuous achievement of success milestones that will provide you with daily, weekly and monthly confirmation that you are attaining higher levels of self satisfaction, self-determined happiness and self-defined levels of contentment.

Along this journey you will find times when you have made mistakes or chosen wrong options. That is fine, because doing so increases your ability to learn new things, gain greater insights into yourself and move forward with your life.

Of course, it goes without saying that this journey requires patience….with yourself, with others, and with the circumstances and situations we face.

Perhaps the greatest patience will be required with the self-imposed time deadlines we tend to set for ourselves. We often forget that the universe does not work on the same clock or to the same deadlines as we do. In fact, it usually takes longer to accomplish a specific goal than the time frame we originally set for ourselves. Not meeting our own, arbitrarily set deadlines is not a failure of accomplishment. Rather, it is a failure in setting correct and proper deadlines!

Does it matter if it takes three weeks longer for you to lose the final amount of weight you set as a goal? Not in the bigger picture of your Project You Life Journey it doesn't. Does it matter if it takes several months longer to accomplish your major renovation or hobby project than you set yourself? Not in the bigger picture of your Project You Life Journey it doesn't.

We are so programmed in today's world to establish hard and firm deadlines for ourselves that much of our angst and worries are,  not about accomplishing a certain objective as it is about doing so within a specified time we set for ourselves! Drop the angst and worries about deadlines and your progress toward your goal will become smoother and more fulfilling.

Yes, proper goal setting techniques state that all goals should be time bound. And that's fine, especially in terms of keeping you motivated toward accomplishing a desired goal. But when the pressures of meeting an arbitrary deadline cause an imbalance in your inner peace, or cause your brain to start sending negative messages of failure and unworthiness, it's best to adjust the target date so that you can remain clearly focused on accomplishing your goal.

There's a reason that patience is said to be one of the seven heavenly virtues. And it is certainly one of the tools you will want to bring with you on your Project You Life Journey.

This article is excerpted from the Amazon best-selling personal development and growth book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback. 

Taking Responsibility For Your Life's Journey

Accept Personal Responsibility for Setbacks and Successes 

Your life is in your hands. It is up to you to determine your happiness, your satisfaction, your contentment. No one else is in charge. No one else gets the credit. And likewise, no one else is to blame. It is squarely your responsibility. 

In fact, this is at the crux of what we mean Living A Determined Life. 

In fact, as American psychologist Albert Ellis wrote, "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You can realize that you control your own destiny."

You, and no one else, are responsible for the energy and attitude you bring into every situation, every encounter with other people, and even every room you enter.

As George Bernard Shaw wrote, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

It is rather fascinating that the last two letters of the word blame are me. Is this just a coincidence? Or is it an indication that taking responsibility for blame ends with me and not someone or something else? Is it a sign that we should each focus blame and responsibility for our circumstances first on ourselves ("me"), rather than assigned and delegated to others, outside circumstances, or factors beyond our control? It is something worth thinking about.

Plus, when you blame others you give up your power to grow.  You give up the power to learn from mistakes. You give up your power to learn new things. And you give up the power to understand your own decision-making process.

Your Project You Life Journey will be made easier when you learn to accept personal responsibility for failures and setbacks, and when you see each and every failure or setback as a learning experience. The importance of this is illustrated by these perspectives:

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts. ~Nikki Giovanni, American poet

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying he is wiser today than he was yesterday. ~Alexander Pope, English poet

Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat. ~Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else. ~John Burroughs, American naturalist and essayist

When you encounter pain, frustration, disappointment and all of the other emotions related to unfulfilled desires and delayed dream achievement, realize that these are signals that something in your life needs to change. 

And most important, understand that these signals are also telling you that you are responsible for making the required changes that will either place you back onto your correct Project You Life Journey path or will speed your progress on your chosen path.

This article is excerpted from the Amazon best-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Be A Person Of Character

Defining People of Character 

It is said that people show their true character by what they laugh at. Likewise, some of the truest tests of character come when no one else is looking, or when someone is in the wrong or is shown to be wrong about something they thought was true. How you handle such situations defines and hones your character.

Australian writer and change leader Ian Berry has penned an interesting and thought-provoking list defining people of character:

People of character lay it on the line.

People of character are unafraid to speak their minds.

People of character always tell the truth as they see it.

People of character are trustworthy.

People of character enjoy being popular but don't seek popularity.

People of character seek win/win but do not compromise their principles.

People of character do what they believe is best for the common good regardless of the resistance they encounter.

People of character praise in public and criticize in private.

People of character put others first.

People of character are givers not takers.

People of character focus on building people's self esteem and never engage in put downs or the blame and shame game.

People of character are those we really look up to and admire.

People of character are those we follow when it matters most.

As Ian likes to say, "Be a person of character. You are needed like never before." 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon best-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in both Kindle and paperback formats. 

Optimism Has Many Benefits

Optimism Is Crucial For Success

Here's one of our favorite quotes, which comes from American editor and writer Thomas Dreier:

The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.

The same goes for optimism. An optimistic person will find, notice and leverage positives in life and opportunities. A pessimistic person will see the negatives and hurdles in the same life opportunities. As Sir John Lubbock, an English baron and philanthropist in the 19th century wrote, "What we see depends mainly on what we look for."

Dr. Martin Seligman, professor of positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and best-selling author, writes, "The traditional version tells us that there are two things you need to succeed: talent and hunger, or drive. I have added a third thing, and that is optimism. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don't believe you can overcome failure, if you do not mentally rehearse success, then your talent and drive will come to nothing once you have been knocked down."

Everything you read on the subject will tell you that optimism boosts energy levels, creates higher levels of focus and concentration, improves your chances of reaching a set goal, and prevents health problems from occurring. That would seem to be a better route than wallowing in pessimism and depression from the setbacks and hurdles that get thrown at you.

Ever met a truly successful cynic? It's doubtful. Any level of real success in life will not be achieved in the presence of cynicism. In fact, there are no successful cynics to be found.

Cynicism, while not quite as bad an opposite to optimism as pessimism, is an attitude that should be avoided. Cynics tend to play the blame game, citing a long list of external circumstances or people blocking their way. 

Successful people focus on the positives in their lives and take responsibility for finding solutions to whatever they deem as problems. Cynics, unfortunately, have an attitude holding them back.

As Nobel Peace Prize winner Nicholas Murray Butler said, "Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress."

The following comparison pretty much sums up the difference between a positive, optimistic attitude and a negative, cynical or pessimistic one:

Winners say: "It may be difficult but it is possible."

Losers say: "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

As the old saying goes, since you're going to have an attitude you may as well make it an optimistic one. 

This article is partially excerpted from the Amazon best-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in both paperback and Kindle formats. 

Have An Attitude Of Gratitude

Being Grateful is Self-Rewarding and Creates A Less Stressful Life

The phrase have an attitude of gratitude has practically become trite. But until a better phrase comes along, it is certainly one worth adhering to. 

George Horace Lorimer, the editor-in-chief of The Saturday Evening Post for over 35 years, had a great philosophy about gratitude: "It is good to have money and the things money can buy, but it is good too to check up once in awhile and make sure that you have not lost the things money cannot buy."

Today, many people, particularly in the New Age thinking of spiritual and personal self development, advocate that we each undertake a daily ritual of gratitude identification by asking ourselves:

What or who inspired me today?

What or who brought happiness to me today?

What or who brought comfort, peace or love to me today and how did they do so?

Being thankful and grateful for the acts of kindness ─ both great and small ─ that you receive throughout each day is a self-rewarding and less stressful way to travel your path. 

Expressing your gratitude with sincerity to those who have given you something and who have helped to ease your journey during the course of each day will be appreciated by those others while simultaneously adding to your own karmic bank.  

This concludes our short series of blog posts on gratitude. We hope they have sparked many thoughts and ideas on how you can commit to making 2016 your personal Year of Gratitude. Please let us know how your gratitude journey progresses throughout the year. 

This article has been partially excerpted from the Amazon best-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in both paperback and Kindle formats. 

Express Your Gratitude Formally and Informally

A Key Component of Gratitude Is Expressing This To Others 

Gratitude on the micro, day-to-day interaction level is equally important in achieving satisfaction and contentment along your life journey. 

One of the laws of the universe clearly seems to be that the more grateful you are for the people and little things in your life, the more people and little things will come your way to be grateful for. 

Here is how a few motivational speakers have defined this concept over the years:

There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens the windows of opportunity for ideas to flow your way. ~Jim Rohn

The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for. ~Zig Ziglar

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. ~Christiane Northrup

Like the ability to expertly tell a joke, being able to express gratitude (on a more micro level) is becoming a lost skill. 

Too few people stop to say thanks any more, either formally or informally. People will dash off an email to voice a complaint, yet few will take the time to be courteous with a single note of thanks.

Perhaps because expressions of personal gratitude are so rare, especially formal written ones, they are even more greatly appreciated by recipients. 

In reality, it takes so little effort to sincerely say thank you to everyone who does something for you. 

This is probably one of the easiest habits to form, and yet we somehow let opportunities slip past us, and others to be handled with unfelt, insincere utterances of "thanks" rather than a robust, and heart-felt "THANK YOU."

As William Arthur Ward, the author of Fountains of Faith and one of the most quoted writers of inspirational maxims wrote, "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." 

As you continue to make 2016 your personal Year of Gratitude, remember that a key component of sincere gratitude is expressing this to others, both formally and informally.

Please share other ideas you have in the comments section below. Thank You! 

This article is partially excerpted from our best-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available today in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Create Your Gratitude List

Tips for making Gratitude a present condition and state of mind

Here's an exercise you should do at least twice a year ── get a sheet of paper and list all of the things for which you are grateful. This should be things, people, events, emotions, feelings, and thoughts that you are truly grateful for today.

If you write something in the past tense, edit it into the present tense. For instance, rather than being grateful for the great family vacation you had last year, write that you are grateful for the wonderful memories you have of that vacation and the deeper bonds and love between family members that abounds today as a result.

Likewise, instead of writing that you are grateful for the excellent advice of your mentors and teachers over the years, write that you are grateful for the opportunities you have today to put their advice and lessons to use.

Gratitude should be a present condition and state of mind. 

Too many people express gratitude in the past tense and then do not bring their gratitude with them into their experiences and interactions today. 

Being happy and thankful about past experiences is fine, but the fact is you live in the present and the chances of Living A Determined Life in the future are not great if you do not start with an abundance of gratitude today.

This should be a macro-level list, such as you are thankful for:

a)     having (name of person/s) in my life

b)     my specific talents in _______________ and being able to use these talents in pursuit of _______________

c)      my fitness level (if appropriate)

d)     my health status (if appropriate)

e)     my opportunities to contribute to the causes / community concerns that I am passionate about (list these)

f)       the challenges and opportunities given to me in my roles as mother/father, sister/brother, spouse, partner, grandparent, etc.

g)     my desire and willingness to start Living A Determined Life

Your gratitude list should be at least ten items long. 

If you cannot find ten macro-level things you are grateful for, come back to this exercise after you have read and contemplated chapters 5-9 of Project You: Living A Determined Life. 

A re-reading and internalization of the two previous blog posts on attitude may also help. 

We wrote earlier about making 2016 Your Personal Year of Gratitude. Knowing what you are grateful for, and ensuring that these are written in the present tense, will help you achieve this goal. 

Kindly share other ideas you have for creating Gratitude Lists in the comments below, as we'll be most grateful! 

This article is partially excerpted from the Amazon best-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life. Get your copy today in paperback or Kindle formats at Amazon.