Free Project You Personal Development Book

Free Kindle Edition of Project You: Living A Determined Life

In celebration of the Thanksgiving Weekend, and to help you get started on your 2015 personal and professional development plans, we have made Project YOU: Living A Determined Life FREE in the Amazon Kindle Store this weekend.

Project You: Living A Determined Life 

Get your free copy, through Monday December 1st, at the Amazon Kindle store.

Consciously Living Your Values

Your Inner Spirit Will Let You Know When You Act Against Your Values

Whenever you take action or make decisions that are not in alignment with your values, three things happen almost automatically:

                  1)            Your self-doubt escalates.

                 2)            Your confidence level drops.

                 3)            The criticisms of others have an air of truth about them.

In fact, the criticisms of others will sting sharply, because deep inside your spirit is being pinged by the error of your ways. 

Even though the "mental you" and the "emotional you" may not admit or accept your spiritual reaction, your body will receive signals from your soul that something is not right (often a gut feeling, clammy hands, or a sense of anxiety). 

Unfortunately, due to ego-led stubbornness or a false sense of self confidence created by talking to yourself, you may try to override your spiritual sensations by trying to rationalize or justify your misguided action or decision. 

Trying to convince yourself to ignore the signals of your spirit is most assuredly a sign that you actions or decisions are not in alignment with your core values.

Consciously living your values, on the other hand, will result in a more rewarding life. 

As author Ayn Rand said, "Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Your Personal Core Values Steer Your Future

Being Congruent With Your Core Values

The actions and decisions of people in tune with their core personal values almost always fall within their own comfort zones because of the alignment with those personal values.

It is interesting that some people's values are formed in their early years, while for others these become cemented later in life, either through experiences or education. 

Also, for some people recognition of their core values comes only through facing hardships, heartaches and difficult challenges, while for others the formation of their personal values comes through contemplation, reflection and various other cognitive approaches.

Importantly, core values unconsciously, and sometimes even consciously, guide and govern our decisions, particularly our major decisions. Hence, they help determine and steer us toward our futures.

When we know what is important to us ── when we know what our values are ── making decisions and taking action is so much easier and comfortable. 

When decisions and actions are taken with the perspective, understanding and congruence of your values in mind, your confidence in these decisions and actions is increased. This applies both in your personal life as well as your professional life. 

Additionally, you are more readily able to put self-doubt aside and cast off the criticisms of others.  As Roy Disney, brother of Walt, pointed out, "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."

Adds novelist William Faulkner, "I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem with decency and self-respect and whatever courage is demanded is to know where you yourself stand. That is, to have in words what you believe and are acting from." 

Action: put some time aside today to write down your core personal values, so you know where you yourself stand. This will help you make future decisions more consciously in line with your own values. 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Living Up To Your Personal Values

Be True To Your Own Values

Your values define your character. Living your values means having character.

At the end of the day, what you are ─ your character ─ is vastly more important than what you do, especially in terms of your vocation, career or chosen lifestyle. What you do for a living is not truly who you are, although this concept has been greatly misplaced in the materialistic, economy-driven focus of the past few decades.

J. C. Watts, an American football player and politician, has one of the best definitions of character: "Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that is right is to get by, and the only thing that is wrong is to get caught."

Living your values is not always easy. As the old saying goes, temptation is always just around the corner. It is often far too easy to pursue short-term amusement or glee that is in conflict with your true values. When you don't live your values, however, trouble inevitably crops up (witness the disaster that Tiger Woods once made of his seemingly perfect life).

One of the causes of such problems is that too many people do not give enough thought to their values. They know they have values, deep down, but they fail to take the time to reflect upon them and use their personal values to guide their decision-making processes (especially once under the influence of alcohol, drugs or peer pressure).

Those who are in close touch with their own personal values tend not to have major catastrophes and calamities in their lives, unless of course they engage in actions or activities that are not congruent with their personal values. Such people tend to be very comfortable with their own actions, even when others around them get enraged when they cannot understand the decisions made or actions taken.

As Stephen R. Covey wrote in First Things First"The essence of principle-centered living is to create an open channel with that deep inner knowing, and acting with integrity to it. It is having the character and competence to listen to and live by our conscience." 

As we near the end of 2014 and another new year approaches, now is a good time to start reflecting (and writing down) your personal values, then designing actions for next year that are harmonious with and reflective of your core personal values.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon. 

Self Definition

Establish Who You Truly Are

In the last few Project You Life blog posts we have been writing about self awareness, self understanding and self esteem.

These are the three core aspects of self discovery, an important step on the road to a Project You Life Journey.

Ours, of course, are not the only messages on these topics.

The self-help gurus will inundate you with messages along the lines of:

Any day you want you can discipline yourself to change anything and everything about your life that does not satisfy you or make you happy. It is only up to you to decide to make changes and then to take action to instill these changes within your life. It's only up to you!

The Project You Life message is that yes, you can make any change you want, but that any such changes will only satisfy you and make you happy if they are predicated on a clear sense of self awareness and self understanding.

Otherwise, it is like putting icing on a cake. Doing so does not change the texture or flavor of the actual cake; it just changes the eating experience by coating the cake with a preferred topping.

In his book Zen Bow Zen Arrow Awa Kenzo writes, "No matter the art, the most important thing is to establish who you really are. That is, move from the ego-centered self to the absolute self."

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself. The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

For, as the acclaimed actor Sir John Gielgud said, "One's self-image is very important because if that's in good shape, then you can do anything, or practically anything."

Remember, there is nothing obvious or apparent in a caterpillar that foreshadows it becoming a butterfly. Only the caterpillar knows it is going to be a butterfly. Likewise, only you know and understand what you can or will become.

As Buddha said many times, "be a lamp unto yourself," so that you have the insight and understanding of a caterpillar.

And in doing so, always recall the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing; others judge us by what we have done."

This planet is a laboratory of experiences and an infinite university of potential learning for the evolution of our souls. Use these experiences and lessons to cultivate a deeper, richer self understanding and you will find a greater balance and harmony in the spirit of your true self. 

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Self Esteem: Important Ingredient for Authentic Success

Attitude and "Self Talk" Impact Self Esteem and Self Worth

We quoted singer Pearl Bailey at the end of the previous post on self-esteem with her very apt words: "No one can figure out your worth but you."

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success with self esteem. 

Your "self talk" plays a critical role in how you perceive your self worth. That's the good news, and the bad news.

By focusing on positive messages, and controlling the quantity of negative thoughts circulating in your brain, you can boost your sense of self worth and your level of self esteem.

On the other hand, if you do not deem worth in yourself, or in your ideas and actions, then you will be placing your own limitations on yourself, as well as in your ideas and actions.

As Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and several other outstanding books, wrote, "Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours." Similarly Denis Waitley chimed in with, "The greatest limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself."

Fear is a major conduit of self-limiting beliefs. You need to develop the skill of understanding and controlling your fears, to ensure you do not act or react out of fear. Bertrand Russell, a noted philosopher, wrote: "Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear." 

David Patchell-Evans, an author and Canadian fitness expert, wrote the following in relation to physical exercise programs, but his message actually has broader connotations for life in general:

Most of the limitations you think you have are the ones you have decided on. They are often entirely self-imposed.

You might think "I can't do this, I can't do that, I would never do that, my parents could never do that, I never played baseball, I never climbed a mountain, I never, never, never."

It's the old broken record in your head. Throw out that negative thinking right now! Learn to play a positive message in your head because it's all about attitude.

Yes, throw out all your negative thinking. Right now! Only allow positive messages into your head, particularly from your own "self talk". 

Remember, you cannot expect to accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. 

The road to Authentic Success requires an attitude of positive self esteem and truly knowing your own self worth.

If you want some help in this area, pick up a copy of Project You: Words of Wisdom, which combines motivational messages and quotations from leading thinkers and individuals across the ages with practical tips, techniques, tools, and proven steps to help readers embark on a journey of continuous improvement in both self esteem and self worth. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book ProjectYou: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Self Esteem: Focusing on Your own Self Worth

No One Can Figure Out Your Worth But You

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."

Think about that for a moment.

You undoubtedly know what your reputation is amongst your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family members.

But what is your reputation with yourself and of yourself?

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success without self esteem.

In many ways self esteem should be thought of as self respect. For, like all other forms of respect, this must be earned before it is granted freely and willingly.

Self esteem will also heighten your sense of self worth, a topic you are likely to struggle with at various times in your life. In today's society, one's self worth is usually negated and chipped away at by others, and unfortunately most often by the ones you love or care about the most.

Which makes this advice from the author Ralph Marston particularly relevant: "If you really want to improve your self esteem, stop allowing other people to be responsible for it. Instead, create something of value. Make a positive difference."

Fortunately, self worth can be built up through one's own stimulus, actions and thinking. There's a great deal of truth in this quote circulating on the Internet and attributed to someone named Kim Jeffery, "I was worthless, until I decided to be worth more."

In a similar fashion, your ideas are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. 

Likewise, your actions are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. And so on, and so on.

The singer Pearl Bailey may have summed it up best, "No one can figure out your worth but you."