Being An Authentic You

Revel in the freedom to be yourself by Living A Determined Life. 

Some people try to impress, through fancy titles, clothes, cars, lifestyles, social standing, and other overt displays of perceived success. Sadly, many seek happiness and acceptance this way. Unfortunately, they do not see that they are giving up the freedom to truly be themselves in exchange for these so-called status symbols.

However, those for whom such symbols have little meaning are free from the need to covet and crave them. While they care, to a lesser degree, how other people perceive them, the only standards that matter and concern them are the ones they set themselves. The primary (and sometimes solely) source of acceptance they seek is the one from themselves. They find value in themselves, not from being accepted by others.

As such, these people truly know how it feels to have the freedom to be themselves. And that is a freedom to which you are entitled, no matter what your station or situation in life happens to be.

You have the universal right and freedom to be you. You have the universal right to be free from feeling that you have to please other people or conform to the standards and dictates of others. You are free to be you and to ignore the expectations of others that do not feel right to you.

As the lovable Dr. Seuss penned, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  

After all, at the end of your journey, you don't want to be asking yourself, "Why wasn't I more like me? How did I get off track from being me?"

Real success in life comes from being true to yourself. If you listen carefully, your spirit will be the one guiding you best on this journey and keeping you on track. That feeling in your gut and that soft, shallow voice in your head telling you that you are not being yourself is your spirit communicating with you.

Being you is a challenging and rewarding undertaking, but nobody can perform the job as well as you. Our blog posts over the next week will provide you some additional ideas and guideposts on how to carry out the job of being you. 

For more great quotes on how to live a determined life, see our book Project You: Words of Wisdom, at Amazon.

Free To Be You

Be Yourself. All Others Are Already Taken. 

The easiest thing in the world is to be yourself. But sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to be yourself.

Why the apparent contradiction?

Because throughout your life many people will be pushing and pulling you to be something else, something they want you to be. But you do not want to conform to other people's desires and standards. You want to be true to yourself.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else," said poet E. E. Cummings, "is to fight the hardest battle there is and never stop fighting."

Or, as Oscar Wilde said, "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." 

Only you get to decide what you will do, when you will do it, and how much effort you will put into it. Only you get to decide what is of importance to you. Only you set your own standards, morals, principles, and values.

Sure, others will try to exert influence on many aspects of your life and your character. Such influence, however, is not decision-making authority. At the end of the day, all decisions about you, your future and your path are yours and yours only.

The greater the depth of your own self understanding, the greater will be your control and confidence in the decisions you make about yourself and your future. There is no need to please anyone else, much less everyone else, and thus you need not try. 

You are free to be you. It's what we call Living A Determined Life.

This article is excerpted from our top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Success, Satisfaction and Happiness

Expanding and Growing Yourself is a path to the authentic happiness and satisfaction you seek. 

Thanks to the self-help and personal development industries, there are probably more words written on success than any other subject.

As you might imagine, there are as many definitions of success as there are authors. Here's a substantive sampling:

Success is doing your own thing, for the benefit of others. Denis Waitley

A life isn't significant save for its impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson

Your success in life will be in direct proportion to what you do after you do what you are expected to do. Brian Tracy

If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all. Anna Quindlen

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: try to please everybody. Herbert Bayward Swope

Be yourself, be tenacious, be kind and be thankful. This is the short recipe for success and happiness in life. Chris Widener

Success is not so much what we have as it is what we are. Jim Rohn

Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves, to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterdays by our today.  Stewart B. Johnson

You are successful when others benefit from your efforts. You are unsuccessful when others are diminished by what you do. Arthur Dobrin

Meaningful success needs a very personal definition. It is built from the inside out. The success of others has nothing to do with your own success. Denis Waitley

We believe one of the best definition of success comes from legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden: "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

In the Project You philosophy, success is the on-going process of becoming better, of striving to become the best that you are truly capable of being, in whatever endeavors you choose. 

Project You people are always expanding themselves ── intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, or even physically (at least health wise). Doing so rewards them with the authentic satisfaction and happiness they seek. 

How are you expanding yourself today? If you're feeling a bit off-track, read about our Mid-Year Resolutions initiative and have a look at our 4-step process for re-igniting your dreams and personal development goals. 

This article is partially excerpted from the Amazon top-ranked motivational ebook Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in Kindle ($3.88) and paperback ($6.45) formats.  

More Thoughts on Self Respect

The most important venture you will ever build will be YOU. 

For many of us, gaining ─ and maintaining ─ self respect is often the most arduous part of the ProjectYou Life Journey. It takes time, patience and commitment. It takes a willingness to test self imposed boundaries. It takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with one's self.

And, of course, it takes the ability to love all mankind as well as yourself. 

As the writer Joan Didion penned, "To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything."

When these words from Shakti Gawain ring true for you, you will know that you are on the right path to self respect:

"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself."

It is far more important to be true to yourself than to seek acceptance and confirmation from others. 

The same goes for respect. As Steven H. Coogler writes, "Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within."

One of the ironies about respect and self respect was identified centuries ago by the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."

Your continued personal development comes through the continuous process of building and maintaining high levels of self esteem and self respect. By changing the way you think about yourself, and by changing the internal verbal dialogues you have with yourself, you change your attitude, belief in self and your own abilities, the convictions you hold, and your energy levels.

All from simply how you think about and feel about you! 

And, as Lydia M. Child emphasizes, "Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture." (The most important venture you ever build will be you.) 

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal and professional development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Living A Principle Centered Life

Be Unflinching in Your Commitment to Your Principles 

Living A Determined Life means being totally committed to your principles and values. 

However, one of the most important things about personal principles is to understand that you cannot impose your values on others. 

For instance, suppose you place a high value on punctuality, but your partner does not. Any efforts you make to impose your value of punctuality on your partner will undoubtedly lead to numerous spats followed by many moments of anguish and despair.

When you make judgments of others based on your principles, friction ensues.

One aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to leverage your values with courage in your decisions and actions, combined with the ability to do so in consideration of the feelings and convictions of others. 

Another aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to understand how the values of others form a foundation for their own decisions and actions, even when these are not acceptable to you or are in direct opposition to your own views and convictions.

When you are emotionally mature you can have a great deal of ego strength, while maintaining respect and empathy for others.

Your principles require 100% commitment and dedication. They are not something to be pulled out of your wallet or purse and used to pay for your experiences in life like some kind of values credit card.

Be unflinching in your commitment to your principles. As Denis Waitley has written, "Moderation in temper is always a virtue. Moderation in principle is always a vice."

And lastly, by all means stick to your principles through hardships, turmoil, disappointments, heartaches, and in those moments when it seems like life would be easier if you just made a little compromise here or there. When it comes to your principles, there is no such thing as a "little" compromise.

In the words of Thomas Jefferson, "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

 This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life. Get your copy today at Amazon in either Kindle or paperback format. 

Principles Create A Meaningful Life

Your Conscience has a Full Understanding of Your True Principles. 

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well. 

Principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

No one can teach you which principles to inculcate within yourself, for the simple reason that what works for some may not work for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everybody else is absolutely unique. 

Your principles and values are what create your authentic self. 

There is no magic formula for always living up to your personal values, though this advice from philanthropist W. Clement Stone comes close:

Have the courage to say no.

Have the courage to face the truth.

Do the right thing because it is right.

These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

The importance of knowing and understanding your principles cannot be over emphasized. As William F. Scolavino said, "The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions."

Your inner spirit, usually speaking to you via your conscience, will always have a full understanding of your true principles. 

Listen to and obey your conscience. It speaks to you through an inner voice telling you things that we often refer to as hunches or gut feelings. Trust your hunches and gut feelings, for these are based on facts, principles and values that are coded and ingrained at your unconscious, spiritual level.

In other words: trust yourself. It's the best way to Live A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Deeper Self Understanding -- Part Two

Greater Self Understanding Leads to Greater Self Esteem 

Here's some great advice from Louise Erdrich, a best-selling Native American author of novels, poetry and children's books, "Never rationalize anything that feels wrong." 

Or, as Mario Cuomo, a former governor of New York and Presidential candidate remarked, "Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right."

Both Erdrich and Cuomo recognize and grasp the importance of self understanding, particularly in relation to decision making.

It is very tempting to do things that do not feel right, especially when no one else seems to be around watching. Remember, however, that your spirit is constantly watching you and will cause you grief when you do not live up to its (your!) standards. 

As Griffin Bell, a former U.S. Attorney General, advised, "Always err on the side of doing right. You and only you are responsible for your ethics."

Doing right by your own standards is the surest way to maintain self esteem. 

And despite what others will say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a hefty amount of self esteem, even when this gives rise to the side effect of an enlarged ego. 

Additionally, nothing you ever learn, know or have is worth learning, knowing or having unless you know how to be proud of yourself.

As Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else."

Or, to put it another way, as Nido Qubein has, "Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."

This is why self-actualization is at the peak of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Deeper Self Understanding -- Part One

The key to self understanding is to be open and honest with yourself. 

In the previous Project You Life Blog post on Self Understanding (Part Two), we shared with you that self understanding will help you become and remain authentic. And, of course, you want to be authentic. 

Of course, you cannot be authentic if you do not know who you truly are. That is where self understanding comes in. Self reflection is the best school you will ever attend, and it is best that you become a lifetime student enrolled in this school.

Howard Gardner, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Education, differentiated between two types of personal intelligence:

interpersonal intelligence ── being the ability to understand other people and what motivates them, and

intrapersonal intelligence ── being an inward capacity to form an accurate, genuine and truthful model of one's self.

Gardner described the core interpersonal intelligence as the "capacities to discern and respond appropriately to the moods, temperaments, motivations, and desires of other people." He depicted intrapersonal intelligence as the key to self-knowledge with "access to one's own feelings and the ability to discriminate among them and draw upon them to guide behavior."

The key to true self understanding is to be open and honest during your reflective dialogues with yourself.

It is also important to tune out what others say about you. As the Trappist Monk Thomas Merton wrote in his book No Man Is an Island, "Others can give you a name or number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can only discover from within."

Also, do not get caught up in thinking your job title, your possessions or anything else you associate with are the real you. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:

The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications.

None of these are you.

Understanding the true motivations behind your thoughts and actions will place you in a better position to do what is right (for yourself as well as for others) when confronted with options and alternatives.

Likewise, realize that material wealth and creature comforts will not define who you truly are. Nor will they determine who your children truly are. Yes, a comfortable childhood usually leads to a more comfortable life as an adult. No one is arguing that there is a need to live in abject poverty to "find one's true self." On the other hand, as Andrew Carnegie said, "He who dies with wealth dies with shame."

To determine if what you are doing is in line with your values, ask yourself "why" are you doing it? Why are you starting that new business venture or creating that new product? To make money? Fine. But is that what you truly value? Or is it to make a difference in people's lives? The latter resonates much more strongly for most, as it is in line with their true values. 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Self Understanding -- Part Two

Understanding Yourself Will Help You Become Authentic

The various writers, speakers and products of the self-help industry all have one theme in common ── every person can take responsibility for changing and building their lives. That's a great start, but what most of the strategies and ideas proffered have lacked has been guidance in helping their students and readers come to grips with their true inner selves.

They have been great at helping people improve their self images, build stronger egos, identify ways to motivate themselves, and design strategies for personal goal attainment. But what they usually did not provide were tools and strategies for developing a better rapport with, and deeper understanding of, one's spiritual self.

As the late Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, wrote, "The self-image or ego is what we hold to be true about ourselves and what we want others to believe about us. Most people believe they are their self-image and, therefore, diligently strive to protect it. In defense of our image, we imprison our spirit."

Self understanding will help you become authentic and remain authentic in the large majority of your actions. And you want to be authentic. According to Dr. Simon:

Authenticity is an alignment between your beliefs, your desires and your choices in the world.

Desires change throughout the course of a life, but agreement between ideals, aspirations and deeds is key to a life of peace, happiness and success. When you act in ways unlikely to fulfill your genuine desires, you experience the inner friction of a life out of alignment.

Desires that are in alignment with core beliefs generate powerful actions. Like a wave that draws from the depths of the ocean, actions connected to your authentic self are more likely to manifest your intentions.

In his book The Ten Commitments, Dr. Simon goes on to explain:

Choices that are in alignment with what we know, feel and believe to be true generate a natural sense of ease and confidence. When we allow distractions to intervene between our core values and the choices we make in the world, our energy is depleted. These distractions become false idols that block access to the divine.

The two underlining principles of Dr. Simon's thinking on authenticity are straight-forward:

Being authentic means assuming the responsibility for writing the story of your life.

Committing to authenticity means taking responsibility for what you choose to do and what you choose not to do.

Chapter two of his book The Ten Commitments is devoted to the concept of "A Commitment to Authenticity" and is well worth reading.

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Self Understanding -- Part One

The more you understand yourself, the more you understand the world. 

Self awareness is like putting your foot into a lake to see how cold the water is. Self understanding is diving into the lake to see how deep it is.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu placed great emphasis on self understanding. He wrote, "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise."

Self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself. You will likely learn a lot more than you bargained for, including lessons about life, spirituality, other people, love, faith, and many other topics.

Paul Coelho wrote, "The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world." And centuries earlier, Aristotle told his followers, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." It is sad that more people do not understand the linkages between self understanding and universal wisdom.

The past three decades have seen a litany of self-help books, tapes, videos, CDs, DVDs, webinars, and live programs produced. In fact, the entire self-help industry went from start-up phase to maturity in less than 40 years. The foundation the self-help movement in the latter years of the 20th Century were these words from the 19th Century American psychologist William James: "The most important discovery of my generation is people can change their lives by changing their minds."

Ever since, self-proclaimed gurus, personalities and industry leaders have been trying to help people change their minds through "attitude adjustments" and "positive thinking." Unfortunately, the majority of them failed to educate their followers that you must first have a firm understanding of yourself before implementing their programs and advice, so that your mind and your spirit are not in continual conflict.

Perhaps this is because the journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As Miguel de Cervantes wrote, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Know Yourself: Self Understanding

Understanding yourself helps you become more authentic

If self awareness is like putting your foot into a lake to see how cold the water is, then self understanding is diving into the lake to see how deep it is.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu placed great emphasis on self understanding. He wrote, "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise." 

Self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself. You will likely learn a lot more than you bargained for, including lessons about life, spirituality, other people, love, faith, and many other topics. As such, it's a journey well worth taking.

Here are some motivational quotes from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to assist you in this journey of self discovery and understanding: 

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth. Ralph Waldo Emerson 

You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. Rwandan Proverb 

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky 

The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment. Krishnamurti 

Paul Coelho wrote, "The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world." Centuries earlier Aristotle told his followers, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." 

Self understanding will help you become more authentic and remain authentic in your words and in the large majority of your actions. And you want to be authentic.

Of course, you cannot be authentic if you do not know who you truly are. This is where self understanding comes into play.

Self reflection is the best school you will ever attend, and it is best that you become a lifetime student enrolled in this school.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

The Right Path to Self Respect

Self Respect is a Long-Haul Journey

When these words from Shakti Gawain ring true for you, you will know that you are on the right path to self respect:

"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself."

As detailed in our top-selling book  Project You: Living A Determined Life, it is far more important to be true to yourself than to seek acceptance and confirmation from others. 

The same goes for respect. As Steven H. Coogler writes, "Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within."

One of the ironies about respect and self respect was identified centuries ago by the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."

Your continued personal development comes through the continuous process of building and maintaining high levels of self esteem and self respect. By changing the way you think about yourself, and by changing the internal verbal dialogues you have with yourself, you change your attitude, belief in yourself and your own abilities, the convictions you hold, and your energy levels.

All from simply how you think about and feel about you! 

And, as Lydia M. Child emphasizes, "Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture." (The most important venture you ever build will be you.)

Now, a word of caution! This is not a self-hype, temporary motivational exercise. Yes, there is a role for motivational affirmations that temporarily build short-term bursts of self belief (especially in sports and other performance or competitive activities). We have all witnessed underdogs will themselves to victories in countless movies and sporting events.

Rather, this is a long-haul journey requiring the patience and compassion described by Shakti Gawain above. It also requires complete and honest truth with one's self. We all have strengths and limitations. No one is perfect. You have to be honest with yourself about your imperfections.

"Above all," as Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky said, "do not lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." 

For most of us, gaining -- and maintaining -- self respect is often one of the most difficult parts of the Project You Life Journey. As we wrote in our previous post on Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts, this takes time, patience and commitment. 

It also takes a willingness to test self-imposed boundaries. And it takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with yourself on what you are thinking and feeling about yourself. 

Today......right now.....couldn't be a better time to have such a reflective conversation. 

Project You: Living A Determined Life is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect. 

Principles are the Foundation for a Meaningful and Worthwhile Life

Consciously Live According To Your Values and Principles

Values form your principles.

For instance, having a core value for integrity results in a principle never to tell a lie or hide the whole truth from someone.

Like values, principles should be put into a hierarchical structure, as at times two or more of your principles may be in conflict. It is important that you organize your principles by priority, based on which is most important to you.

For example, how would you handle a situation where a friend or colleague is about to drive off from a party in an inebriated state? He says he's fine to drive, but you think he should not be driving.

Does your principle of not interfering in other people's personal decisions overrule your principle of believing that drunk driving is wrong? Or vice versa? Will you be willing to risk the friendship or workplace relationship to prevent a possible tragedy?

If you respond with "it depends on who the person is" or "it depends on how high he appears to be," you are taking a situational approach and not a principled one.

If you decide that you place a higher value on not interfering in someone's personal decisions over the principle that drunk driving is wrong, then that is your hierarchical ranking for these two principles.

Your individual principles need to be formed around the great values of life, things like truth, love, the sanctity of life, integrity, being a person of your word, justice, fairness, friendship, spirituality, etc.

Despite the current trend of modern humanity to focus on happiness and pleasure as the cornerstones of life, do not think that matters of principle are old fashioned or past their use-by date. They are not and deep down they never will be.

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well.

The bottom line is simple: principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

No one can teach you which principles to inculcate within yourself, for the simple reason that what works for some may not work for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everybody else is absolutely unique.

This also means that you are responsible for living a principle-centered life. You, and only you, know how to consciously live according to your values and principles.

Thus, always keep asking yourself: “what am I doing to ensure that I am consciously living according to my values and principles?”

Have Principles Based on Core Personal Values

Consciously Live According To Your Values and Principles

Personal Values define your character and are critical keys to Living A Determined Life.

As we wrote previously on Living Up To Personal Values, the actions and decisions of people who are in tune with their core personal values usually fall within their own comfort zones, mostly because of the alignment of their actions and decisions with their personal values.

This is why those who are in close touch with their own personal values tend not to have major catastrophes and calamities in their lives, at least not until they engage in actions or activities that are not congruent with their personal values.

A core aspect of your personal values are your principles. Principles are the foundation for a meaningful and worthwhile life.

A person who has principles and displays these will be respected and liked by the people most important in their life. More important, such a person will be respected and liked by himself or herself as well.

There will be times in your life when you are called upon to stand up for your principles, especially if you have principles based on your core personal values.

These moments need not be major, life-defining incidents. Rather, they often crop up during mundane day-to-day activities. When you take action in accordance with your principles, often called living up to your principles, the glow of self satisfaction can be immense and is reward enough in itself.

However, when you do not act in harmony with your principles, a little piece of you dies inside and your soul becomes uncomfortable and agitated.

A lot of the literature we read and the stories we hear while growing up feature characters struggling or learning to formulate their principles and act accordingly. One common lesson in most of these stories is that principles are not situational, something many people forget when becoming adults and entering "the real world."

Principles are the rocks upon which your decisions for action should be made. Your principles help ensure that you live up to your personal values, and thus need to be solidly entrenched in your psyche and persona. As Edward R. Lyman wrote:

Principle ─ particularly moral principle ─ can never be a weathervane, spinning around this way and that with the shifting winds of expediency. Moral principle is a compass forever fixed and forever true.

Today is a good day to pause and reflect upon your principles. How would you list and define your principles? How do you want to live in tune with these in the coming year? How can you use these to make better decisions in your personal and professional life?

And most important: how are you ensuring that you consciously live according to your values and principles? 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in eBook and paperback at Amazon.

Ensure Your Personal Values Drive Your Decisions

Decisions Based on Personal Values Result in Greater Self Satisfaction and Happiness 

Scientists believe there is a gap, or space, between stimulus and response. What occurs in this space affects your personal development and, eventually, your happiness. If what happens in this gap is molded, shaped and guided by your values, the resultant outcomes will be more in agreement and harmonious with your true self. Naturally, this will lead to greater self satisfaction and happiness.

However, if you permit factors other than your own values to influence your decisions and actions, then the results are less likely to be congruent with who you really are, leading to disappointment, self doubt and dissatisfaction with yourself.

Be forewarned, however, that sometimes your values may lock you into a course of action that is detrimental to you, particularly over the short haul. When this happens, how it impacts you over the longer term will be determined by what you learn from the experience and how you evaluate the final outcome.

Also, sometimes you can experience a problem caused by conflicting values. When this occurs it is useful to have a ranked hierarchy of your values, so that you can utilize the most important one or give greater weight to the most cherished one when deciding what to do. 

Not all personal values are equal, but only you can decide which ones are the most important in your life. As famed science fiction write Isaac Asimov has advised, "Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what is right."

One key to understanding other people is to realize that their values also drive their decisions and actions. You do not necessarily have to agree with their values, or with their actions and decisions. But simply knowing and understanding their values will make it easier for you to comprehend and figure out the basis for their actions and decisions.

This does not mean, however, that you have to share or even accept another person's values, only that understanding these will enable you to better understand their actions and decisions. As the Native American Indian proverb goes, "Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins." 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in eBook and printed formats at Amazon.

Consciously Living Your Values

Your Inner Spirit Will Let You Know When You Act Against Your Values

Whenever you take action or make decisions that are not in alignment with your values, three things happen almost automatically:

                  1)            Your self-doubt escalates.

                 2)            Your confidence level drops.

                 3)            The criticisms of others have an air of truth about them.

In fact, the criticisms of others will sting sharply, because deep inside your spirit is being pinged by the error of your ways. 

Even though the "mental you" and the "emotional you" may not admit or accept your spiritual reaction, your body will receive signals from your soul that something is not right (often a gut feeling, clammy hands, or a sense of anxiety). 

Unfortunately, due to ego-led stubbornness or a false sense of self confidence created by talking to yourself, you may try to override your spiritual sensations by trying to rationalize or justify your misguided action or decision. 

Trying to convince yourself to ignore the signals of your spirit is most assuredly a sign that you actions or decisions are not in alignment with your core values.

Consciously living your values, on the other hand, will result in a more rewarding life. 

As author Ayn Rand said, "Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Your Personal Core Values Steer Your Future

Being Congruent With Your Core Values

The actions and decisions of people in tune with their core personal values almost always fall within their own comfort zones because of the alignment with those personal values.

It is interesting that some people's values are formed in their early years, while for others these become cemented later in life, either through experiences or education. 

Also, for some people recognition of their core values comes only through facing hardships, heartaches and difficult challenges, while for others the formation of their personal values comes through contemplation, reflection and various other cognitive approaches.

Importantly, core values unconsciously, and sometimes even consciously, guide and govern our decisions, particularly our major decisions. Hence, they help determine and steer us toward our futures.

When we know what is important to us ── when we know what our values are ── making decisions and taking action is so much easier and comfortable. 

When decisions and actions are taken with the perspective, understanding and congruence of your values in mind, your confidence in these decisions and actions is increased. This applies both in your personal life as well as your professional life. 

Additionally, you are more readily able to put self-doubt aside and cast off the criticisms of others.  As Roy Disney, brother of Walt, pointed out, "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."

Adds novelist William Faulkner, "I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem with decency and self-respect and whatever courage is demanded is to know where you yourself stand. That is, to have in words what you believe and are acting from." 

Action: put some time aside today to write down your core personal values, so you know where you yourself stand. This will help you make future decisions more consciously in line with your own values. 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Living Up To Your Personal Values

Be True To Your Own Values

Your values define your character. Living your values means having character.

At the end of the day, what you are ─ your character ─ is vastly more important than what you do, especially in terms of your vocation, career or chosen lifestyle. What you do for a living is not truly who you are, although this concept has been greatly misplaced in the materialistic, economy-driven focus of the past few decades.

J. C. Watts, an American football player and politician, has one of the best definitions of character: "Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that is right is to get by, and the only thing that is wrong is to get caught."

Living your values is not always easy. As the old saying goes, temptation is always just around the corner. It is often far too easy to pursue short-term amusement or glee that is in conflict with your true values. When you don't live your values, however, trouble inevitably crops up (witness the disaster that Tiger Woods once made of his seemingly perfect life).

One of the causes of such problems is that too many people do not give enough thought to their values. They know they have values, deep down, but they fail to take the time to reflect upon them and use their personal values to guide their decision-making processes (especially once under the influence of alcohol, drugs or peer pressure).

Those who are in close touch with their own personal values tend not to have major catastrophes and calamities in their lives, unless of course they engage in actions or activities that are not congruent with their personal values. Such people tend to be very comfortable with their own actions, even when others around them get enraged when they cannot understand the decisions made or actions taken.

As Stephen R. Covey wrote in First Things First"The essence of principle-centered living is to create an open channel with that deep inner knowing, and acting with integrity to it. It is having the character and competence to listen to and live by our conscience." 

As we near the end of 2014 and another new year approaches, now is a good time to start reflecting (and writing down) your personal values, then designing actions for next year that are harmonious with and reflective of your core personal values.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.