Self Respect Comes From Total, Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself
You need not be controlled by your thoughts. In
fact, you have immense control over your own thoughts, even the subconscious
ones. Scientific studies have shown that the subconscious mind can only think
what it is told. It cannot create new thought patterns by itself; but only
through external stimuli.
Thus, if you tell yourself you are sad, unhappy
or angry, then that is what your subconscious will believe and hence will
direct you to act accordingly. However, if you tell yourself that you have a
significant number of things to be grateful for, no matter how dire the current
circumstances may seem, then you will approach your situation in a more
positive, optimistic and happier manner.
The key is to fully understand yourself and how
you allow situations, comments, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions impact you. As
Nido Qubein has written, "Total,
unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step in building a positive
self-image."
As mentioned in our previous post on Self Respect, you have to weed out the negative thoughts circulating in your inner talk. Like weeds in a garden, such thoughts need to be killed, not pruned.
For many, gaining ─ and maintaining ─ self
respect is often the most arduous part of the Project You Life Journey. It takes time, patience and commitment.
It takes a willingness to test self imposed boundaries. It takes the mental
energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with
one's self.
And, of course, it takes the ability to love all
mankind as well as yourself. As the writer Joan Didion penned, "To have that sense of one's intrinsic
worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything."
Our book, Project You: Living A Determined Life, is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect.
