Create a New Direction, New Journey for Yourself

The Joy of Self Discovery

We have been writing in the last few blog posts about knowing yourself and defining yourself. These are the key steps in what we call the Self Discovery phase of a Project You Life Journey. 

This exciting and highly revealing  self discovery phase of the Project Life Journey is immensely self-rewarding. This is because one of the best discoveries you will ever make in your life is uncovering the great potential of your mind.

Your mind has the potential and capacity to lead you on this journey. And, with sufficient reflection, your mind can entice your spirit to collaborate in building the motivation, fortitude and momentum for you to continue on this journey through bumps, hurdles and annoying obstacles.

The reason your spirit is willing to cooperate is because it understands discovering your life's purpose is one of the core reasons for your individual human existence and experience. It is why, when you pause to reflect and contemplate the questions how well do I know myself? and why do I feel that I am not on the most optimal journey for myself? that you instinctively know the validity and relevance to you of both these questions. For, as the Rwandan proverb states, "You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you."

This joining of your human form (the mind) and your infinite soul (your spiritual nature) is a powerful combination of "yin and yang" that unearths the true nature of your very self.

A Project You Life Journey can be embarked upon at any stage of your life, no matter your age, health, family status, or socio-economic situation. You can be the CEO of a multinational company or a person incarcerated in prison for past deeds. You can be a single mom struggling to make ends meet or a pillar of your community actively engaged in the most important issues impacting where you live.

While none of us can ever go back and start a new beginning, or change any aspect of the past, the beauty of this process is that each of us at any time can decide to create a new direction, a new journey and a new ending for our lives.

And it is not just a new ending you are after, but equally important (in fact more so for many people) is the creation of a new journey. After all, your personal growth, pleasure and happiness will come more from the journey you take than the final destination you reach.

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Know Yourself: Self Esteem

Self esteem heightens your sense of self worth

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer well known for his work in the psychology of self esteem wrote:

Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves 

superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by

measuring themselves against a comparative standard.

Their joy is being who they are,

not in being better than someone else. 

Another of Branden's insights is that, "Self esteem is the reputation we acquire within ourselves." 

Think about that for a moment. You know what your reputation is amongst your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family members. 

But what is your reputation with yourself and of yourself? 

In many ways, self esteem should be thought of as self respect. For, like all other forms of respect, self respect must be earned before it is granted freely and willingly. 

Here are some quotations from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to get you thinking about your own self esteem and feelings of self worth: 

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on. Unknown 

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Robert Tew 

Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within. Steven H. Coogler 

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck 

Your self image is your pattern. Every thought has an activity visualized. Every activity belongs to a pattern. You identify with your patterns of thought. Your pattern leads your life.  J. G. Gallimore 

A growing body of research suggests that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key to unlocking your true potential for greatness. Heidi Grant Halvorson 

Self esteem will also heighten your sense of self worth, a topic you are likely to struggle with at various times in your life. In today's society, one's sense of self worth is at times negated and chipped away at by others, often by the ones you love or care about the most.

Which makes this advice from the author Ralph Marston particularly relevant, "If you really want to improve your self-esteem, stop allowing other people to be responsible for it. Instead, create something of value Make a positive difference." 

Fortunately, self worth can be built up through one's own stimulus, actions and thinking. As the saying goes, "I was worthless, until I decided to be worth more."

No one can determine your worth but you.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, which is available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.

Know Yourself: Self Awareness

Understanding the promptings of your innermost heart

Self awareness is not about looking deeply within your internal chamber of secrets and trying to discover "your true self."

Rather, it is an open, honest, candid, and on-going self observation of what drives you to take the actions you take, to think the thoughts you think, and to feel the emotions that bubble up inside you.

People with high levels of self awareness have a clear and definite grasp of their own strengths and weaknesses, as well as an elevated sensitivity to observe what motivates, de-motivates, satisfies, delights, annoys, and angers them.

With a solid sense of self awareness you multiply your predisposition to go after the opportunities that are right for you -- by leveraging your strengths, values, and inner motivations. Likewise, you are also better positioned to minimize your chances of pursuing activities that are likely to have unsatisfying or potentially harmful results.

Here are some quotes from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom that might help you create such a solid sense of self awareness:

Knowing others is wisdom; knowing self is enlightenment. Tao Te Ching 

Total, unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step in building a positive self-image. Nido Qubein 

Others can give you a name or a number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can only discover from within. Thomas Menton, No Man an Island 

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. Aristotle 

You are searching the world for treasure but the real treasure is yourself. Rumi 

When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible. Tina Lifford 

Finally, as Robertson Davies, one of Canada's most distinguished men of letters, wrote, "A man must be obedient to the promptings of his innermost heart." The first step, of course, is to have a clear awareness of what reverberates in your innermost heart.

Likewise, as we quoted American actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein in the previous post Knowing Yourself / Defining Yourself, "accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." 

Doing both of these puts you squarely on the path to Living A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Words of Wisdom, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Knowing Yourself / Defining Yourself

Life is about creating yourself

As you continue on your life's journey it is critical, as American actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein wrote, to "accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."  

The journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As we quoted Miguel de Cervantes in the previous post Know Thyself, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." 

Difficult, yes. Impossible? Definitely not. 

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself. The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

Here are some quotations from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to help you along this journey of self understanding and knowing one's self:

He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise. Lao-Tzu 

He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. Marcus Aurelius 

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Max Ehrman 

I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself. Shakti Gawain 

As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you the first time around. Oprah Winfrey 

Again, the better your understanding of yourself the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

After all, as George Bernard Shaw said, "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

That's a philosophy at the heart of Living A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Know Thyself

Know Yourself / Define Yourself

Know Thyself.

Those words, inscribed in gold letters on the temple of Apollo at Delphi, are probably the most important two-word phrase ever written.

Know thyself is a two-step process comprising self awareness and self understanding. 

Self awareness is a heightened sense of continuous attention to one's feelings, emotions, and thoughts. 

Self understanding is being aware of your thoughts about your feelings, emotions, and thoughts -- and being mindful of the impact these are having on your contemplated, intended, or actual actions. 

When combined and integrated, these two steps lead to self definition.

Here are some quotes from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom we hope will help motivate you to better knowing and defining yourself:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on. Unknown 

Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world. Miguel de Cervantes 

We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter. Denis Diderot 

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself. Lao-Tzu

Yes, you need not do anything but be yourself. But first, you have to know and define yourself.

And that will be one of the most fascinating journeys you ever take.

Bon voyage!  

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Following Your Conscience Creates Self Respect

Increasing Self Respect Makes Life More Pleasant 

You know instinctively when you are lying to yourself and trying to rationalize some course of action that your conscience is advising against. 

Going against your conscience usually results in a unpleasant results and a decrease in self respect. 

Follow your conscience and you will wake up each morning with a greater amount of respect for yourself. Disobey your conscience and the seeds of regret and self disenchantment begin to sprout. As William Penn wrote, "Only trust thyself and another shall not betray thee." 

You also need to respect yourself enough to walk away from anything -- or anyone -- that no longer renews you, helps you grow or makes you happy. 

Of course, this is not to suggest that you run away from your responsibilities (particularly parental ones) or your relationships simply because you are unhappy or not feeling any growth. In fact, personal growth will come from how you work your way through such situations.

On the other hand, as Zig Ziglar points out, "Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best show but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people." 

Respecting yourself also includes limiting the amount of damage you do to your body through over eating, alcohol, drugs, and your sleeping patterns. 

Respect is not something that you turn on and off like a water tap. It should gush from you at all times, toward all people, living creatures, the environment, property, and things in general. 

But, of course, before you can truly give respect to others, you have to have respect for yourself. 

Yes, you will occasionally come across people whose actions do not warrant respect. In such situations it is best to recall Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's words above to treat such people "as if they were what they ought to be." In doing so, perhaps you might just help them overcome whatever obstacles and hurdles they face and be a factor in them becoming what they ought to be. 

Even if your own respectful actions do not seem to have any impact on them, at least you will be left with a positive, respectful feeling toward yourself. Such a feeling makes it easier to walk away from idiots and those with self-proclaimed ambits of authority while maintaining peace with yourself instead of being angry with them and the world. 

Just add a little bit of respect into each of your encounters with others, and life will become a whole lot more pleasant and rewarding. 

Please take 10 minutes and think about ways you can improve your own self respect, and what actions you can take to bring more respect into the world around you.

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts

Self Respect Comes From Total, Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself

You need not be controlled by your thoughts. In fact, you have immense control over your own thoughts, even the subconscious ones. Scientific studies have shown that the subconscious mind can only think what it is told. It cannot create new thought patterns by itself; but only through external stimuli.

Thus, if you tell yourself you are sad, unhappy or angry, then that is what your subconscious will believe and hence will direct you to act accordingly. However, if you tell yourself that you have a significant number of things to be grateful for, no matter how dire the current circumstances may seem, then you will approach your situation in a more positive, optimistic and happier manner.

The key is to fully understand yourself and how you allow situations, comments, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions impact you. As Nido Qubein has written, "Total, unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step in building a positive self-image." 

As mentioned in our previous post on Self Respect, you have to weed out the negative thoughts circulating in your inner talk. Like weeds in a garden, such thoughts need to be killed, not pruned. 

For many, gaining ─ and maintaining ─ self respect is often the most arduous part of the Project You Life Journey. It takes time, patience and commitment. It takes a willingness to test self imposed boundaries. It takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with one's self.

And, of course, it takes the ability to love all mankind as well as yourself. As the writer Joan Didion penned, "To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything." 

Our book, Project You: Living A Determined Life, is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect. 

The Importance of Self Respect

Time to Garden Out the Weeds in Your Self Respect Thoughts

One important aspect of respect is self respect.

Like many attributes in life, respect for yourself is something you must have before you can give it to others. It is almost impossible to respect and love others if you do not respect and love yourself.

For, as Zig Ziglar has pointed out, "The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!" 

Your heightened self awareness and self understanding, is very critical.

If you are not careful, your constant chatter with yourself will pull you down through negative thoughts that create a poor attitude, an unattractive demeanor and reduced self esteem.

That is why it is important to understand and be aware of what motivates you and what drives your own self respect to lower levels. After all, having low self esteem is like driving through life with your personal hand brake on. 

"To think bad thoughts," notes James Clavell, "is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral down into ever increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort. This is one of the things that discipline -- training -- is about."

How do you eliminate, or at least control, the bad thoughts buzzing throughout your mind? 

Jim Rohn answers this question with a gardening metaphor: "You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate." 

Perhaps it's time to do a little self respect gardening work this weekend?

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.

Self Definition

Establish Who You Truly Are

In the last few Project You Life blog posts we have been writing about self awareness, self understanding and self esteem.

These are the three core aspects of self discovery, an important step on the road to a Project You Life Journey.

Ours, of course, are not the only messages on these topics.

The self-help gurus will inundate you with messages along the lines of:

Any day you want you can discipline yourself to change anything and everything about your life that does not satisfy you or make you happy. It is only up to you to decide to make changes and then to take action to instill these changes within your life. It's only up to you!

The Project You Life message is that yes, you can make any change you want, but that any such changes will only satisfy you and make you happy if they are predicated on a clear sense of self awareness and self understanding.

Otherwise, it is like putting icing on a cake. Doing so does not change the texture or flavor of the actual cake; it just changes the eating experience by coating the cake with a preferred topping.

In his book Zen Bow Zen Arrow Awa Kenzo writes, "No matter the art, the most important thing is to establish who you really are. That is, move from the ego-centered self to the absolute self."

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself. The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

For, as the acclaimed actor Sir John Gielgud said, "One's self-image is very important because if that's in good shape, then you can do anything, or practically anything."

Remember, there is nothing obvious or apparent in a caterpillar that foreshadows it becoming a butterfly. Only the caterpillar knows it is going to be a butterfly. Likewise, only you know and understand what you can or will become.

As Buddha said many times, "be a lamp unto yourself," so that you have the insight and understanding of a caterpillar.

And in doing so, always recall the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing; others judge us by what we have done."

This planet is a laboratory of experiences and an infinite university of potential learning for the evolution of our souls. Use these experiences and lessons to cultivate a deeper, richer self understanding and you will find a greater balance and harmony in the spirit of your true self. 

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Self Esteem: Important Ingredient for Authentic Success

Attitude and "Self Talk" Impact Self Esteem and Self Worth

We quoted singer Pearl Bailey at the end of the previous post on self-esteem with her very apt words: "No one can figure out your worth but you."

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success with self esteem. 

Your "self talk" plays a critical role in how you perceive your self worth. That's the good news, and the bad news.

By focusing on positive messages, and controlling the quantity of negative thoughts circulating in your brain, you can boost your sense of self worth and your level of self esteem.

On the other hand, if you do not deem worth in yourself, or in your ideas and actions, then you will be placing your own limitations on yourself, as well as in your ideas and actions.

As Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and several other outstanding books, wrote, "Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours." Similarly Denis Waitley chimed in with, "The greatest limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself."

Fear is a major conduit of self-limiting beliefs. You need to develop the skill of understanding and controlling your fears, to ensure you do not act or react out of fear. Bertrand Russell, a noted philosopher, wrote: "Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear." 

David Patchell-Evans, an author and Canadian fitness expert, wrote the following in relation to physical exercise programs, but his message actually has broader connotations for life in general:

Most of the limitations you think you have are the ones you have decided on. They are often entirely self-imposed.

You might think "I can't do this, I can't do that, I would never do that, my parents could never do that, I never played baseball, I never climbed a mountain, I never, never, never."

It's the old broken record in your head. Throw out that negative thinking right now! Learn to play a positive message in your head because it's all about attitude.

Yes, throw out all your negative thinking. Right now! Only allow positive messages into your head, particularly from your own "self talk". 

Remember, you cannot expect to accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. 

The road to Authentic Success requires an attitude of positive self esteem and truly knowing your own self worth.

If you want some help in this area, pick up a copy of Project You: Words of Wisdom, which combines motivational messages and quotations from leading thinkers and individuals across the ages with practical tips, techniques, tools, and proven steps to help readers embark on a journey of continuous improvement in both self esteem and self worth. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book ProjectYou: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Self Esteem: Focusing on Your own Self Worth

No One Can Figure Out Your Worth But You

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."

Think about that for a moment.

You undoubtedly know what your reputation is amongst your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family members.

But what is your reputation with yourself and of yourself?

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success without self esteem.

In many ways self esteem should be thought of as self respect. For, like all other forms of respect, this must be earned before it is granted freely and willingly.

Self esteem will also heighten your sense of self worth, a topic you are likely to struggle with at various times in your life. In today's society, one's self worth is usually negated and chipped away at by others, and unfortunately most often by the ones you love or care about the most.

Which makes this advice from the author Ralph Marston particularly relevant: "If you really want to improve your self esteem, stop allowing other people to be responsible for it. Instead, create something of value. Make a positive difference."

Fortunately, self worth can be built up through one's own stimulus, actions and thinking. There's a great deal of truth in this quote circulating on the Internet and attributed to someone named Kim Jeffery, "I was worthless, until I decided to be worth more."

In a similar fashion, your ideas are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. 

Likewise, your actions are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. And so on, and so on.

The singer Pearl Bailey may have summed it up best, "No one can figure out your worth but you."

Self Understanding (Part Four)

The Impact of Deep Self Understanding on Decision Making and Self Esteem

In our last blog post, on Deeper Self Understanding, we quoted famed writer and thinker Eckhardt Tolle, who wrote: "The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, persona and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications. None of these are you."  

Likewise, realize that material wealth and creature comforts will not define who you truly are. Nor will they define who your children truly are or become.

Yes, a comfortable childhood usually leads to a more comfortable life as an adult. No one is arguing that there is a need to live in abject poverty to "find one's true self." On the other hand, as Andrew Carnegie said, "He who dies with wealth dies with shame."

To determine if what you are currently doing, and how you are currently living, is in line with your core values, ask yourself "why" are you doing it? 

Why are you starting that new business venture or creating that new product? To make money? Fine. But is that what you truly value? Or is it to make a difference in people's lives? The latter resonates much more strongly for most, as it is in line with their true values.

Here's some great advice from Louise Erdrich, a best-selling Native American author of novels, poetry and children's books, "Never rationalize anything that feels wrong." 

Or, as Mario Cuomo, a former governor of New York and Presidential candidate remarked, "Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right."

Both Erdrich and Cuomo recognize and grasp the importance of deep self understanding, particularly in relation to decision making.

It is very tempting to do things that do not feel right, especially when no one else seems to be around watching. Remember, however, that your spirit is constantly watching you and will cause you grief when you do not live up to its (your!) standards. As Griffin Bell, a former U.S. Attorney General, advised, "Always err on the side of doing right. You and only you are responsible for your ethics."

Doing right by your own standards is the surest way to maintain self esteem. And despite what others will say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a hefty amount of self esteem, even when this gives rise to the side effect of an enlarged ego. 

Additionally, nothing you ever learn, know or have is worth learning, knowing or having unless you know how to be proud of yourself.

As Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else." 

Or, to put it another way, as Nido Qubein has, "Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."

We believe this is why self-actualization is at the peak of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid.

Knowing thyself is a two-part process comprising firstly self awareness and then self understanding. Truly knowing yourself is a critical and decisive first step on the journey of life that we call the Project You Life Journey. 

We'd love to hear your own stories on how a deeper sense of self understanding helped you in your own decision making or self esteem. Please let us know in the comments below, or email us at:  editors@projectyoulife.com. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.  

Self Understanding and Authenticity

Becoming Authentic Through Self Understanding 

Self understanding will help you become authentic and remain authentic in the large majority of your actions. And you want to be authentic. According to Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center:

Authenticity is an alignment between your beliefs, your desires and your choices in the world.

Desires change throughout the course of a life, but agreement between ideals, aspirations and deeds is key to a life of peace, happiness and success. When you act in ways unlikely to fulfill your genuine desires, you experience the inner friction of a life out of alignment.

Desires that are in alignment with core beliefs generate powerful actions. Like a wave that draws from the depths of the ocean, actions connected to your authentic self are more likely to manifest your intentions.

In his book The Ten Commitments, Dr. Simon goes on to explain:

Choices that are in alignment with what we know, feel and believe to be true generate a natural sense of ease and confidence. When we allow distractions to intervene between our core values and the choices we make in the world, our energy is depleted. These distractions become false idols that block access to the divine.

The two underlining principles of Dr. Simon's thinking on authenticity are straight-forward:

Being authentic means assuming the responsibility for writing the story of your life.

Committing to authenticity means taking responsibility for what you choose to do and what you choose not to do.

Chapter two of his book The Ten Commitments is devoted to the concept of "A Commitment to Authenticity" and is well worth reading. Dr.Simon's book The Ten Commitments: Translating Good Intentions into Great Choices is available at Amazon. 

What are you doing to find your own authenticity? 

Taking time for self reflection and developing a deeper sense of your own self understanding is a great way to develop greater authenticity. 

Another way is to follow the Project You Life Rules, which on found on the Project You website. 

After all, it's time to start living the life you imagined.



This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and Kindle eBook formats at Amazon. 

Self Understanding (Part Two)

Self Understanding Is More Than Self Help

For years self-proclaimed gurus, personalities and self-help industry leaders have been trying to encourage people to change their minds and mental mindsets through "attitude adjustments" and "positive thinking." 

The foundation the self-help movement in the latter years of the 20th Century were these words from the 19th Century American psychologist William James: "The most important discovery of my generation is people can change their lives by changing their minds."

The past three decades have seen a litany of self-help books, tapes, videos, CDs, DVDs, webinars, and live programs produced. In fact, the entire self-help industry went from start-up phase to maturity in less than 40 years. 

Unfortunately, the majority of them failed to educate their followers that you first must have a firm understanding of yourself before implementing their programs and advice, so that your mind and your spirit are not in continual conflict.

This is because the journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As Miguel de Cervantes wrote, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world."

The various writers, speakers and products of the self-help industry all have one theme in common ── every person can take responsibility for changing and building their lives. That's a great start, but what most of the strategies and ideas proffered have lacked has been guidance in helping practitioners and readers come to grips with their true inner selves.

These self help programs have been great at helping people improve their self images, build stronger egos, identify ways to motivate themselves, and design strategies for personal goal attainment. But what they usually did not provide were tools and strategies for developing a better rapport with, and deeper understanding of, one's spiritual self. 

As Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, wrote, "The self-image or ego is what we hold to be true about ourselves and what we want others to believe about us. Most people believe they are their self-image and, therefore, diligently strive to protect it. In defense of our image, we imprison our spirit."  

As we wrote in the previous post on self understanding: self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself.

It is worth quoting the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu again: "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise."  

This weekend provides an ideal time for some self reflection and contemplation. Spend some time getting to know yourself better. As Lao-Tzu points out, doing so will make you a wiser person come Monday.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.