More Thoughts On Handling Grief And Loss

How You Manage and Handle Grief Determines How Long It Lasts 

As we wrote in the previous blog on Handling Grief and Loss, loss is intrinsic in life. 

We must learn to accept that it will happen repeatedly throughout our lives. As such,there is no sense in trying to deny or avoid losses. 

The important thing is not to let the natural grief you feel after a significant loss turn into despair, gloom, depression, or hopelessness. You do not so much overcome grief as you learn how to manage and handle it.

The key here is to remember that events have no meaning. Any meaning given to an event (good or bad) is simply the meaning that you give to it. So whether an event is tragic or character building, sad or happy, helpful or restraining is solely dependent upon the meaning that you assign it.

In the previous blog post we provided four methods you can use to handle grief and loss, and continue to live a meaningful life. Here are four more methods: 

1)  Talk about your feelings and emotions, either with trusted family members or professionals. Even the most private person can benefit from discussing an overwhelming loss in the safe and supportive environment of a trained grief counselor. If you don't feel comfortable talking with others, then find time and space away from everyone else and have a meditation session or dialog with your spirit. Your soul can be quite the comforting aide when given the opportunity. 

2)  Avoid alcohol and self medicating yourself. A walk in nature will do you more good than a couple of shots of booze. Realize that you are in a weakened state, and therefore more susceptible to alcohol and drug abuse than normal. 

3)  After an appropriate period of grief, turn your thoughts from what you have lost to positive memories of what you once had. Express gratitude for what you had, and for what you still have. Whenever feelings of grief start to rise, force yourself back into thoughts of gratitude and appreciation. 

4) Refocus on all that is good, positive and right in your world. Refocus on your personal hopes, dreams, goals, and desires. Refocus on the future you want to create and let the past, even the immediate past that resulted in a significant loss for you, slip away as you move back onto your Project You Life Journey path.

Fortunately, feelings of loss and grief are usually temporary and diminish over time. So, even if time does not heal all wounds, it does help to lessen and reduce the painful emotions that come with a significant loss. 

Eventually, we all heal and move on with our lives as best we can; and knowing this in advance can be of comfort to us when we are in the throes of the grieving process.

Lastly, simply knowing that it is foolish and futile to seek a life free of loss, sorrow and grief, you are better positioned to accept loss, sorrow and grief as fundamental elements of life. 

It is said that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and thus the person who anticipates that loss, sorrow and grief will make an appearance in their life is likewise a person who can use loss, sorrow and grief to make herself or himself stronger.

This article is partially excerpted from our top-ranked personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is also available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon.