Self Awareness and Success -- Part 2

Knowing Yourself Creates a More Meaningful and Successful Life

Self observation and continuous attention to your feelings, emotions and thoughts are crucial aspects of your personal self-development journey. 

Through these observations you will identify your core strengths, areas for improvement and techniques for greater self control.

George Gurdjieff, an author and spiritual teacher of the early 20th Century, wrote, "Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes. He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening."

When you awaken to your true self, you not only change your destiny, you grab control of it with two hands firmly on the steering wheel of your life. Your dreams become your reality. Your choices will be based on meeting your most important needs, leading to what psychologist Abraham Maslow described as "self actualization."

"A man must be obedient to the promptings of his innermost heart," wrote Roberston Davies, one of Canada's most distinguished men of letters. The first step, of course, is to have a clear awareness of what reverberates in your innermost heart.

As Maslow wrote, "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself."

Do what makes you happy and that which sparks the passion within, and then you will be at peace with yourself.

Or, as George Bernard Shaw said, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." That philosophy is at the heart of the Project You Life Journey and Living A Determined Life.

It all starts with self awareness. As Maslow stated, "What is necessary to change a person is to change their awareness of themselves."

As pointed out above, there are four parts to you ── your mind, your body, your heart, and your soul.

It is easy to be aware of your body and your bodily functions. You spend all your conscious hours, and even some hours of sleep, listening to your mind chattering away.

The hardest task, and the most revealing one despite the monumental effort required, is to be fully aware of your emotions and your spirit, for these form that inner self at the core of your personal universe.

By rising to this challenge, a more meaningful life awaits.

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top seller Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

The Dark Side of Self Awareness

We all have faults. Overcoming these is gratifying and satisfying. 

The flip side to the coin of self awareness is that none of us is perfect, or even close to being perfect. 

This means that practicing self awareness will reveal to us the numerous blemishes, inconsistencies, incongruities, and harmful tendencies that are an inherent part of the composition of our sentient beings.

Unfortunately, as M. Basil Pennington, the Trappist monk and priest who wrote over 60 books in the latter half of the 20th Century, penned, "In seeing ourselves as we truly are, not all that we see is beautiful and attractive. This is undoubtedly part of the reason we flee silence. We do not want to be confronted with our hypocrisy, our phoniness. We see how false and fragile is the false self we project. We have to go through this painful experience to come to our true self."

Remember, when you see the dark side of yourself, it is like looking at the dark side of The Force as depicted in the Star Wars series. Being aware of your dark side ── your human weaknesses and all other negative aspects of your character ── is the preliminary step in being able to control and overcome these.

Of course, overcoming any personal weakness is a particularly gratifying and satisfying feeling; one of the greatest sources of self esteem you will encounter. Aristotle obviously got it right when he wrote: "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."

Those who do not win the battle with themselves become lost souls, empty of the self knowledge and understanding, and thus the passions, that make life worth living.

Additionally, being aware of your faults, flaws and weaknesses is also the first step in changing or modifying these. It's your choice ── you can either control these, or be controlled by them.

Likewise, you can continue to exhibit your faults and flaws, and suffer the consequences, or you can take action to change.

As Jim Rohn said, "Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got."

Rohn also gave this good advice: "You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of."

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Personal Growth Requires Taking Responsibility and Action

Blaming Others Reduces Your Ability and Power to Grow

Establishing your goals and intended outcomes, and then defining a path to get you to these is the first part of the Project You Life Journey.

The second part is being responsible for taking the required decisions and actions to continue your journey, and then taking ownership for the outcomes and consequences (both good and bad) resulting from your actions and decisions.

If, however, you blame others for your situation or your outcomes, you give up your ability and power to grow. Likewise, you cannot remain dependent on others to improve your situation or create better outcomes for you. 

People are not necessarily going to change themselves in order to make your life better. If you really believe that you deserve better than what you currently have or are experiencing, then you have to work on you and your actions, not on others. The old saying "if it is to be, it's up to me" has much validity.

So rather than getting angry at others, or resorting to placing the blame on bad luck and things out of your control, focus within instead and identify the actions, large or small, that you can take to create forward progress toward your desired outcomes and goals. Again, even tiny progress is still progress and moves you closer to goal attainment and experiencing the outcomes your spirit desires.

Also, rather than getting frustrated when bumps and hurdles appear in your way, see these as signs that additional change or action is required. Feelings of pain and hurt do not pop into our lives for no reason; they are usually a sign that something in our lives needs modification or changing.

Remember, you and you alone are solely responsible for the energy and attitude you bring into every room you enter, every situation you face, and every encounter you have with others. By taking responsibility for the energy and attitude you bring with you, you are better positioned to create the positive outcomes for which you will be pleased to claim ownership.

And if your situation or circumstances do not turn out the way you wanted or expected them to, it is up to you to identify how you got yourself into this state of affairs and what you need to do to extract yourself from the unwanted conditions.  

Remember, the foundation of personal growth is personal responsibility and self empowerment. After all, if personal growth is to happen, it is up to you. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

6 Steps for Making Change Last

Maintaining Momentum for Personal and Professional Change Development 

Worried or afraid that you might not be successful in making the personal or professional change you desire? 

That's understandable. But, of course, you won't know for sure until you have tried. 

Many changes take multiple efforts over time (we all know people who have "quit" smoking numerous times until they were finally able to quit for good). 

Belief in yourself and your capabilities, combined with a firm commitment (to yourself) will help get you under way.

Lastly, if you are still hesitant to initiate a change you truly believe you should take, the words of Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu provide a strong warning of the dangers of not changing: "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

Here are six steps for making change last: 

1. Be specific and precise about the change. "Losing weight" is neither specific nor precise. "Reducing weight by eight pounds in the next four weeks" is both. 
2. Do not take on too much. Making one substantial change at a time is significant enough. Aim for quality of change, not quantity.
3. Stretch yourself, but don't over do it. Don't settle for something too easy, but also don't push yourself for something that is unrealistically hard. Aim for something that is just outside your comfort zone. 
4. Eliminate temptations. Change can weaken your self control. It can also cause you to rationalize that since you are making improvements in one area it is okay to backslide in another. Until you have formed positive habits hide away and purposely avoid all temptations that might take you off track. 
5. Monitor your progress. Measure and track improvements (another reason your change goals should be precise and specific). Identify times when slippage occurs and see if a pattern is developing.
6. Reward yourself both for effort and for little victories. Didn't quite make it all the way to your goal by the assigned deadline? That's okay. If you came close, and you can honestly say you put in close to maximum effort, reward yourself with a little treat (hold the big treats until major accomplishments are achieved). 

When hesitant to make, or continue, personal and professional change, go back to the Change Benefits list we wrote about in the previous Project You Life Blog on Change Is Not Always Easy. If you haven't created your list, find 15 minutes today to do so. 

Once you find the courage and willingness to get started, the six steps above will help keep your personal or professional change project in full momentum. 

If you have any thoughts or ideas on additional steps to add to this list, please share them in the comments box below. We welcome your thoughts and ideas, especially on things that have worked for you. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Personal Change Is Not Always Easy. But It Is Usually Most Beneficial.

Plan Your Life Journey. Don't Let Life Happen Haphazardly. 

All self development programs and processes you undertake will result in some change in you. Personal and professional development also requires an upfront amount of change and commitment from you, both to get started and to be maintained.

Improvement, change, adjustment and learning are part of everyone's life cycle. Unfortunately for most, these events happen randomly and haphazardly. It need not be this way for you. 

Planning your Project You Life Journey has numerous benefits that will make the road to attaining your hopes, dreams, desires, and goals both easier and more enjoyable.

Implementing any change in your life is a three-step process: start, build momentum, and maintain persistence.

Getting started, of course, is often the hardest part. We procrastinate. We wait for the "right" time. We focus on other "priorities" even when these are not important. We wait for a "sign" to give us a signal to begin. We are afraid to take the first steps. Or, most important, we are afraid to commit.

Commitment takes resolve. It takes dedication. It takes having a constant conversation with yourself that this is a permanent change and that you are not going back to your old ways. When it comes to implementing change, commitment and resolution are verbs, not nouns. Verbs command action. And that is what it takes to implement change that results in personal or professional development.

Beginning to change something in your life is not always easy. But it is rarely life threatening either, unless you decide to pursue a high risk adventure sport (and even in that case risk can be modified and reduced through proper training and caution).

When assessing a potential change, a simple listing of pluses and minuses on a single sheet of paper will suffice. Down the middle of the page draw a line. For the left column write a header "Things I Can Gain" and atop the right column write the heading "Things I Could Lose."

Now spend 15-20 minutes brainstorming points for each column. When you are finished, put the paper aside for two days. Your brain will continue to subconsciously think of more pluses and minuses, which you can add to your list at any point over the next couple of days. 

Within a few days you will have a list of advantages and disadvantages related to the change you are contemplating. You are now in a better position to make your decision to either proceed, not to make the change, make the change in a modified fashion, or even put the decision aside until a later date. 

But why wait? As we highlighted in the last Project You Life Blog post, your personal growth starts now. 

Find 15 minutes in your life today and start listing the gains that you will reap from making changes in your life that you know will benefit you. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Shift Momentum When You Don't Need to Change Direction

Focus on Changing Choices to Attain the Results You Want

After your self-discovery introspection (which we have discussed in the previous two Project You Life blog post) you will have a pretty good indication and understanding of who you are and what goals, dreams and desires you have. 

The typical next step is to assess where you are in relation to achieving your dreams and goals, and even whether you are currently on the right path in pursuit of them. We call this the Shift Momentum phase. 

For most, some change is required; either in the actions being taken or in the effort and energy being put into the actions you deem should be continued. 

Actions and effort, however, are not the total story or the only factors dictating your achievements and personal satisfaction. Also playing big roles are your attitude and your personal outlook on life (both short term and long term).

Often what is truly needed is a shift in momentum, not a complete change in direction. 

As American writer Ralph Marston points out, "Shift your momentum, and a bad day turns into a great day. Problems change into opportunities. What was once negative energy turns into a useful, creative force."

On the other hand, most people will find that various aspects of their lives (but not all) need a slight or fundamental change in direction. After all, every thing and every person in your life at this very moment is a reflection of a choice or choices you have made in the past. 

The formula for the future is simple: if you want to be in a different situation, surrounded with different things, or have different people in your life, you must start making different choices and taking new actions.

Remember, as Flora Whittemore says, "The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."

Or, as well-known keynote speaker Patricia Fripp advises, "Challenge everything you do. Expand your thinking. Refocus your efforts. Rededicate yourself to your future."

The key, of course, is focus. Everything from the recent best-selling book The Secret to ancient Asian philosophies highlight the importance of focusing on what you want, rather than on what you want to rid yourself of (i.e. focus on becoming slimmer, not on losing weight).

Because your journey is equally as important, if not more so, than your desired destination, it is therefore more important to focus on what you need to change than on what you are aiming to attain. As the saying goes, "If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Change Your Attitude. Change Your Results.

Shift Momentum By Changing Your Thoughts

You have the power to change. Whether you exercise this power or not is up to you. 

The remote control device for change is your attitude. Understand that your attitude can be changed as readily as you change channels on your television set. And like your TV, your attitude has many channels that you can access:  positive, negative, playful, angry, flustered, becalmed, passionate, uncaring, optimistic, pessimistic, nonchalant, excited, enthused, disdainful, lethargic, energized, and many others.

When you use your remote to select a channel on your television, you decide what you want to surround yourself with for a period of time: soap operas, sports, news, crime shows, movies, music videos, nature and wildlife, or whatever else interests you at the time.

The same is true when you consciously or unconsciously select your attitude channel. This choice will determine what messages you surround yourself with until you make another selection. 

If you have a negative attitude you will interpret the events of the day (i.e. traffic jams, long lunch queues, interactions with most people) as negative occurrences. 

With a positive attitude you are more likely to turn these same events into more uplifting situations, such as an unexpected time for thinking or listening to your favorite songs (during the traffic jam), an opportunity to explore a new cuisine or food outlet (when your regular eating place is crowded) and chances to get to know others in a more meaningful and deeper way (interactions with people).

The events will be the same. The only difference will be your perspective and interpretation of the events, as influenced or determined by your attitude. How you experience life is determined by your attitude at the time events, people and situations pass through your life. 

Here is how Groucho Marx approached his life, "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Another way to shift momentum is to open yourself up to new experiences and possibilities. By opening your mind to new thoughts and new ways of doing things, you create a fresh perspective and generate new ideas on future possibilities and outcomes for yourself. The benefits of doing so are well described by writer and thinker Roshanna S Evans:

"When your mind is open by wonder it is a creative burst to the soul. You feel energized, excited, wildly open to information yet to be formed in consciousness but rather at the fingertips of your soul.

Anything less means we are closed by belief, be it cultural, familial, emotional, or imaginative belief. We feel physiologically restrained, limited, boxed in, uncertain, and less than empowered." 

Once you shift your momentum with positive thoughts and attitude, you will find it easier to move forward in your journey to Living A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon.