The Road Map to Authentic Happiness

Compassion, Kindness and Giving Are the Keys to True Happiness 

There is a lot of truth in the old proverb "it is better to give than to receive." 

Perhaps receiving is surface and transient happiness, while giving is deeper and more permanent happiness. After all, anyone who shares, smiles and gives hugs receives a greater happiness through giving than their recipients. 

As the Chinese proverb says, "A bit of perfume always clings to the hand that gives the rose."

You have, no doubt, been exposed to the pithy saying "money cannot buy happiness." As the theologian William Barclay wrote, "The one thing that all men need to learn about joy is that joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstances. It is the simple fact of human experience that a man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy." Substitute the word "happiness" for the word "joy" and Barclay's words are equally resolute.

Since happiness is truly self generated, it is simply a waste of time and effort to try and make other people happy. This is not to say you should not do things for other people that gives them momentary pleasures and happy memories. Far from it. Rather, it is usually not worth the effort to try and change a truly unhappy person into a happy one. This is something which only they can do.

You are never responsible for their unhappiness, nor should you ever shoulder the guilt for another person's unhappiness. If they want to go through a period of their life being unhappy with their circumstances and all that befalls them, you have no choice but to let them do so (painful as this is when it happens to a loved one).

Remember, only those who search within will find the root causes of their happiness. Likewise, only those who search within will discover the underlying causes of their unhappiness. Your role in such situations is to help people look within themselves, but you cannot do this for them.

The best approach in dealing with chronic or constant unhappiness is with compassion. In fact, as The Dalai Lama says, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

Don't worry. (Be happy!) This is not to suggest that you should not enjoy the pleasures and happy moments that life brings. Nor is this a suggestion that you should never give joy, happiness and pleasures to others. You simply need to be aware that these temporary enjoyments are not the ultimate happiness you (or they) want to experience.

Also, this is not to say that you should never offer comfort or support to other people. In fact, it is the opposite. Through kindness and providing comfort to others you are more likely to discover the deep-seated happiness within you.

How you seek out your own happiness will be, naturally, up to you. 

There is really no road map anyone can provide you, though living the principles of a Project You Life Journey will be a good start. This journey will help you discover the true happiness that dwells within you.

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.89) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Generosity

Our Greatest Giving is of Our Time and Kindness 

Generosity is more than just gift giving or donating money. 

As Jim Rohn said, "One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention." Just being there for someone and listening to them without criticism or judgment is definitely an act of generosity.

As writer Joyce Hifler penned, "Giving is so often thought of in terms of the gifts we give, but our greatest giving is of our time, and kindness, and even comfort for those who need it. We look on these little things as unimportant ── until we need them." 

Project You Life Journey Key Elements 

If you can take this "being there" one step further, that is even better. 

"The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement," noted American poet Sidney Madwed. "Yet almost no one," he added, "gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the wildest dreams."  

Benjamin Disraeli, a former British Prime Minister, had a similar view, "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him/her his/her own."

Here's some good advice from the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson, "You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." 

This article is excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats. 

Purpose Bigger Than Self

You Make A Life By What You Give

People who lead rich lives tend to have two qualities in common: 1) they are optimistic in their outlook and approach to life, and 2) they excel at giving.

What do they give?

They give money to causes and others they believe in. They share their wisdom, skills and lessons learned freely with those willing to listen. They give their time to their communities, religious institutions, schools, neighbors and to those they mentor. And, of course, they regularly agree to help when asked; but more often than not they volunteer their assistance before they are asked.

Author Kent Nerburn wrote, "Give in any way that you can, of whatever you possess. To give is to love. To withhold is to wither. Care less for your harvest than how it is shared, and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace."

It is frightfully amazing the number of people who do not make any charitable contributions, or who make only a few each year, despite their obvious wealth or financial well being. Even though there are definite tax benefits for donating money to charities in many countries, some people just cannot be motivated to give any of their money away.

Incredibly, there are even some people who spend more money on grooming their dogs than on feeding hungry children or contributing to cancer research. Apparently such people have never been exposed to these words from P. Anthony Ridder, the former CEO of the Knight Ridder newspaper publishing group:

The bottom line about success in life isn't whether you are financially successful, but whether you have given of yourself in some way to help others less fortunate than you and to serve your community and your country.

 On the positive side, it is hard not to be amazed by the overwhelming generosity of people in reaction to natural disasters, even when these occur in remote and faraway places. Examples include the millions and millions of dollars donated in response to the Black Saturday bush fires in Victoria, Australia; the Boxing Day tsunami that hit coast lines around the Indian Ocean; and the devastating earthquakes in Haiti and Japan.

For anyone on the Project You Life Journey, the words of Sir Winston Churchill will definitely ring true: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Major acts of generosity or giving are not required, however. Small, everyday acts also add up to make the world a better place. 

In fact, as William Wordsworth wrote, "The best portion of a good man's life is the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love." 

Plus, as Herm Albright said, "Perhaps the world little notes nor long remembers individual acts of kindness ── but people do."

This article is excerpted from the top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback ($7.90) and Kindle ($6.88) formats.