Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiving is not about forgetting, or excusing another's behavior. 

There are enormous personal gains derived from forgiving others, as you will see in chapter two on the benefits of forgiving. The most important payback from forgiveness may have been identified by Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, “Forgiveness is a prerequisite for inner peace."

Forgiveness requires the right mindset and attitude, an appropriate level of humility, and acknowledgment of the human values of the other person — combined with strong willpower and fortitude based on deep-seated self-understanding.

Forgiveness does not excuse the other person’s behavior or words. Forgiveness does, however, prevent their behavior and words from razing your emotions, flattening your spirit, and destroying your heart.

Forgiving is not necessarily about forgetting. Giving forgiveness to someone does not erase the unpleasant or acrimonious past. However, forgiving does prevent you from being imprisoned by this past. While grievances are not erased or deleted through forgiveness, forgiving enables you to focus on a better future, rather than a bitter one.

Forgiveness also means abdicating and releasing your instinctive and innate feelings of the “right” to retaliate. Human nature is automatically stimulus-response based:  you hurt me and thus I will hurt you back. You cause me pain, so I will cause you pain.

Forgiveness is not pretending what someone did or said was right, acceptable, or even okay. More important, it is also not pretending that you were not hurt or that their actions and words do not matter.

Forgiveness is a release. It is effectively saying, “I am going to let this go. I am not going to let this matter chain me to unwanted emotions and thoughts any longer.” 

You can spend months, even years, thinking you hate someone for their words or actions, when in truth you really just want to let them know how hurt you feel and the pain you feel they have caused you. Of course, they did not cause you the hurt or the pain, this was caused by your reactions to what they said or did. 

You do have a “right” to whatever emotions you wish to carry with you in response to a person or event. You have the “right” to be bitter, hurt, spiteful, angry, resentful, and scores of other emotions and feelings. However, you owe it to yourself to understand how these emotions affect your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Forgiveness is a process. It takes time. The process starts with ourselves. We have to stop and admit that our strung out emotions, thoughts, hurt, and pain were caused by our reactions to someone’s deeds and words, or to an event or situation that happened to us.

It is little wonder that Marianne Williamson says, “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” 

This article is excerpted from our book Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom. Today (November 21st) is the final day to download this book for free in the Kindle store.

Why Is Forgiveness So Difficult?

Forgiveness is a process. It takes Time. And it starts with us. 

Do you struggle to let go past hurts?

Would you like to be free of the burdens of the past but simply don’t know how to go about it?

Extending forgiveness is one of the hardest things we can do, but it is absolutely essential for our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being and growth.

There is no question that forgiving can be hard. Complete, unconditional forgiveness is harder — sometimes even impossible — to grant.

Many people are afraid to forgive simply because somehow they feel they must remember the wrong, the hurt, and the pain they experienced in order to learn and retain the lessons from these. This is utter nonsense. You can remember the lessons without having to hang on to the wrong done to you or to constantly suffer from recalling the agony you felt at the time and since.

Another thing that makes forgiving difficult is that, for some inexplicable reason, many people find it far easier to forgive others when they are wrong than when they are right. This human inclination, some say it is human nature, makes jumping onto the forgiveness road even more difficult. 

Probably the biggest obstacles to forgiving are the many unconscious false beliefs we have about forgiveness and what forgiving truly means. Deciding how and when to forgive inevitably means uncovering and discrediting these false beliefs ingrained within ourselves.

If you are struggling to forgive, one or more of the following commonly held misconceptions about forgiveness may be holding you back: 

• The other person must ask for forgiveness first before you should grant forgiveness. 
• Complete forgiveness requires or mandates full reconciliation. 
• Forgiveness means granting approval of unacceptable behavior. 
• Forgiveness will help you forget. 

There is no doubt that forgiveness is a highly emotional topic and one that many struggle with. In face, we all struggle with forgiveness at various points during our life journeys.

This is why we published our book Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom. This book provides tips, hints, and motivational quotes on overcoming the main obstacles to forgiveness (such as the misconceptions above). 

And this is why we have made our book is FREE today and tomorrow in the Kindle store: http://amzn.to/2mFG4Y3. It is also available in paperback. 

We want to help make the forthcoming holiday season one of forgiveness and peacefulness. You can help by letting others know to download their free copy of Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom in the Kindle store now.

Forgiveness is a Process

"Forgiveness is a prerequisite for inner peace." 

This quote comes from the late Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, and it is definitely true. We cannot find inner peace when we carry the baggage of holding grudges, hatred, and venom towards another person within. 

Forgiveness is a process. It takes time. And the process starts with ourselves. 

We have to stop and recognize that our strung out emotions, thoughts, hurt, and paid were caused by our reactions to someone's deeds or words. Or to an event or situation that happened to us.

This process comes with many hurdles and obstacles. Perhaps the biggest obstacles to forgiving are the many unconscious false beliefs we have about forgiveness and what forgiveness means. Deciding how and when to forgive inevitably means uncovering and discrediting these false beliefs ingrained within.

Many people are afraid to forgive simply because somehow they feel they must remember the wrong, the hurts, and the pain they experienced in order to learn and retain the lessons from these. This is utter nonsense. You can remember the lessons without having to hang on to the wrong done to you or to constantly suffer from recalling the agony you felt at the time and since. 

Our book Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom provides tips, hints, and motivational quotes to help overcome the common obstacles to forgiveness and to guide you through the forgiveness process. And it's FREE for the next few days in the Amazon Kindle store: http://amzn.to/2mFG4Y3. 

The ideas, techniques and quotes in Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom will assist you on your own journey to inner peace. 

Practice forgiveness and you will find a higher level of inner peace and happiness. 

Practice forgiveness and you will increase your ability to love on all fronts. 

Practice forgiveness and you will become a better individual, partner, friend, parent, and even co-worker. 

Practice forgiveness and you will enter the forthcoming holiday season with greater joy, happiness, and spirit.

Please help make this holiday season one of forgiveness and peace by sharing this blog post and news of our free Kindle offer (valid through Tuesday, November 21) with your family, friends, and colleagues. 

May the inner peace of forgiveness be yours. 

Words of Wisdom on Forgiveness

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that thee prisoner was you." 

The above quote from Lewis B. Smedes is so very true.

Many of us are caught within our own inability to forgive, forget, and move on.

Forgiveness is a process. It takes time. And the process starts with ourselves. We have to stop and recognize that our strung out emotions, thoughts, hurt, and pain were caused by our reactions to someone's deeds or words. Or to an event or situation that happened to us.

As we wrote in yesterday's post on Forgiveness Words of Wisdom, forgiving and forgetting is easy to say, but often very hard to do. Especially during the holiday season.

To help you find inner peace through forgiveness during the forthcoming holiday season, we are providing our book Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom for free in Kindle format over the next few days.

Currently ranked in the top 30 books on Amazon in the category of Dysfunctional Relationships and #111 in the category Personal Transformation, Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom will provide you with tips, hints, and motivational quotes to help you overcome the many obstacles to forgiveness and to guide you through the forgiveness process.

Probably the biggest obstacles to forgiving are the many unconscious beliefs we have about forgiveness and what forgiveness means. Deciding how and when to forgive inevitably means uncovering and discrediting these false beliefs ingrained within.

All of us struggle with forgiveness at various points in our lives. Please help others out by making them aware of this free book offer, which expires on Tuesday November 21st.

Click on this book title to download your free copy of Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom. 

Forgiveness Words of Wisdom

Find Inner peace Through Forgiveness During the Holidays 

Forgive and forget. Easy to say. Often very hard to do.

There is no question that forgiving can be hard, even despite the spirit of the holidays. To help make this coming holiday season one full of forgiveness, we are making our book Forgiveness Words of Wisdom free on Kindle for the next few days.

Project You: Forgiveness Words of Wisdom will provide you with tips, hints, and motivational quotes to help you overcome the common obstacles to forgiveness and to guide you through the forgiveness process.

Get your free Kindle copy today:  Project You Forgiveness Words of Wisdom.

Mid-Year Resolutions. Now's the Time. | #MidYearResolutions

30-60-90 Day Personal Improvement Action Plan

Research shows that by the middle of the year over 50% of all New Year’s Resolutions have been dropped.

In our last two blog posts we have shared with you some of the main reasons why personal change initiatives fail, as well as the 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change.

Today we are giving you one more tool:  the Living A Determined Life 30-60-90 Day Personal Change Action Plan. This is an easy-to-use template for any personal change, personal development, or self-improvement initiative.

The majority of people will wait another six months to set new personal resolutions and goals. Mostly this is because there is no social protocol or push to do otherwise. You can change this for yourself. Here’s a short video on why it is important to make your Mid-Year Resolutions now: 

Let’s make Mid-Year Resolutions a new ritual by sharing this post and the above video with your friends and family.

And, to help get some momentum behind your own Mid-Year Resolutions, here are two free articles on the Living A Determined Life website to help you create and achieve the personal improvement you desire:

Why Personal Change Initiatives Often Fail

7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change

Please help spread the word with hashtag #MidYearResolutions. Together we can help others achieve their personal development goals.

Mid-Year Resolutions. Such a positive and powerful way to being the second half of the year. 

7 Key Success Factors For Personal Improvement

Mid-Year Resolutions. Make Yours Now. 

Living A Determined Life is an opportunity to continuously examine your life in an on-going manner that helps you build and journey on a path that mentally, emotionally and spiritually aligns with your life's purpose. 

It also means making continuous personal improvements, or what the Japanese call kaizen. For many, this means thinking of personal development as an on-going self-improvement project, or what we call Project You. 

Since personal development should be an ongoing process, we have launched the Mid-Year Resolutions initiative. Research shows that over 80% of all New Year’s Resolutions fail to be achieved, and over 50% have been dropped by the middle of the year, so this is an opportune time to reflect; take account of your personal goals, dreams and hopes; and re-ignite your Determined Life Journey. 

As we wrote in yesterday’s blog post, there are many reasons why we fail at personal change. For one thing, scientific research shows it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become a new habit. So if you start today, any personal improvement change will become a new habit around early September (just after Labor Day in the U.S.).

Here are 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Improvement Change: 

1. Put time aside daily / weekly to review the actions you are taking and monitoring progress. 
2. Give priority to your personal improvement initiative over other daily tasks. 
3. Write your personal goals in a SMART format (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound). 
4. Share your goals with others and allow them to hold you accountable. (It's not as scary as it sounds!) 
5. Focus on only 1-3 change initiatives at a time. 
6. Track progress and course correct as necessary. 
7. Recognize your effort and rewards you success. 

Details on these key success factors can be found in our article 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change.

Who says personal resolutions can only be made at the start of the year? Don’t fall into this trap. We are at the mid-point of 2017, which makes this an ideal time for re-assessing your personal goals and re-igniting your motivation with some Mid-Year Resolutions.

Please share these thoughts and the article on the 7 Key Success Factors for Implementing Personal Change with your family and friends, and in social media using #MidYearResolutions. Thank you.