Living Your Values Creates A More Rewarding Life

Knowing Your Personal Values Enables Easier Decision Making  

It is interesting that some people's values are formed in their early years, while for others these become cemented later in life. Also, for some people recognition of their core values comes only through facing hardships, heartaches and difficult challenges, while for others the formation of their values comes through contemplation, reflection and various other cognitive approaches.

Core values unconsciously, and sometimes even consciously, guide and govern our decisions, particularly our major decisions. Hence, they help determine and steer us toward our futures.

When we know what is important to us ── when we know what our values are ── making decisions and taking action is so much easier and comfortable. 

When decisions and actions are taken with the perspective of your values in mind, your confidence in these decisions and actions is increased and you are more readily able to put self-doubt aside and cast off the criticisms of others.  As Roy Disney, brother of Walt, points out, "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."

Adds novelist William Faulkner, "I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem with decency and self-respect and whatever courage is demanded is to know where you yourself stand. That is, to have in words what you believe and are acting from."

Likewise, when you take action or make decisions that are not in alignment with your values, three things happen almost automatically:

                  1)            Your self-doubt escalates.

                 2)            Your confidence level drops.

                 3)            The criticisms of others have an air of truth about them.

In fact, the criticisms of others will sting sharply, because deep inside your spirit is being pinged by the error of your ways. Even though the "mental you" and the "emotional you" may not admit or accept your spiritual reaction, your body will receive signals from your soul that something is not right (often a gut feeling, clammy hands, or a sense of anxiety). 

Unfortunately, due to ego-led stubbornness or a false sense of self confidence created by talking to yourself, you may try to override your spiritual sensations by trying to rationalize or justify your misguided action or decision. 

Trying to convince yourself to ignore the signals of your spirit is most assuredly a sign that you actions or decisions are not in alignment with your core values.

Consciously living your values will result in a more rewarding life. 

As author Ayn Rand said, "Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values."

This article is excerpted from the Amazon best-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon. 

Time To Bring Back Respect Into Our Daily Lives

Respect Means Treating Each Other As Human Beings

The overall level of respect across all aspects of society seems to have deteriorated in recent years.

Evidence of this includes the profane language that permeates today's music, films and television shows; as well as the plethora of self-interest actions and abuses of power by persons of authority, politicians and business leaders.

While this has yet to reach a crescendo, there is little doubt of the escalation of disrespect being exhibited today. As Gail Pursell Elliott, who is known as The Dignity and Respect Lady wrote, "As a society, we have come to a point where people too often treat one another as objects and opportunities, rather than as fellow human beings. Respecting one another as individuals, or not doing so, seriously impacts the future of all of us."

Having respect for other cultures and other people is extremely important as today's world becomes more interconnected and all of us are more frequently exposed to opportunities to interact with people from other cultures and backgrounds. One has to be careful, however, not to fall into the trap of ethnocentricity, which basically means believing that the values, beliefs and rules of one's own culture are the only valid ones or are automatically superior to all others.

Not only is such a belief system wrong and highly misleading, it also results in a very limited mindset that prevents you from learning from others. Once you begin to explore the world and other cultures, you will quickly learn that other societies, people and cultures have values, beliefs, rules, and protocols that are no better or worse than your own ── just different.

It is important that you respect these different values, beliefs, rules, and protocols, especially when you are in their cultural environment. Doing so will make you feel comfortable and at home everywhere across this magnificent planet. 

Please share with us below your ideas on how to bring higher levels of respect back into our daily lives. 

This article is excerpted from our book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in eBook and paperback formats. 

Self Understanding (Part Four)

The Impact of Deep Self Understanding on Decision Making and Self Esteem

In our last blog post, on Deeper Self Understanding, we quoted famed writer and thinker Eckhardt Tolle, who wrote: "The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, persona and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications. None of these are you."  

Likewise, realize that material wealth and creature comforts will not define who you truly are. Nor will they define who your children truly are or become.

Yes, a comfortable childhood usually leads to a more comfortable life as an adult. No one is arguing that there is a need to live in abject poverty to "find one's true self." On the other hand, as Andrew Carnegie said, "He who dies with wealth dies with shame."

To determine if what you are currently doing, and how you are currently living, is in line with your core values, ask yourself "why" are you doing it? 

Why are you starting that new business venture or creating that new product? To make money? Fine. But is that what you truly value? Or is it to make a difference in people's lives? The latter resonates much more strongly for most, as it is in line with their true values.

Here's some great advice from Louise Erdrich, a best-selling Native American author of novels, poetry and children's books, "Never rationalize anything that feels wrong." 

Or, as Mario Cuomo, a former governor of New York and Presidential candidate remarked, "Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right."

Both Erdrich and Cuomo recognize and grasp the importance of deep self understanding, particularly in relation to decision making.

It is very tempting to do things that do not feel right, especially when no one else seems to be around watching. Remember, however, that your spirit is constantly watching you and will cause you grief when you do not live up to its (your!) standards. As Griffin Bell, a former U.S. Attorney General, advised, "Always err on the side of doing right. You and only you are responsible for your ethics."

Doing right by your own standards is the surest way to maintain self esteem. And despite what others will say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a hefty amount of self esteem, even when this gives rise to the side effect of an enlarged ego. 

Additionally, nothing you ever learn, know or have is worth learning, knowing or having unless you know how to be proud of yourself.

As Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else." 

Or, to put it another way, as Nido Qubein has, "Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."

We believe this is why self-actualization is at the peak of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid.

Knowing thyself is a two-part process comprising firstly self awareness and then self understanding. Truly knowing yourself is a critical and decisive first step on the journey of life that we call the Project You Life Journey. 

We'd love to hear your own stories on how a deeper sense of self understanding helped you in your own decision making or self esteem. Please let us know in the comments below, or email us at:  editors@projectyoulife.com. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.