From Self Discovery to Self Understanding

Only you know and understand what you can become

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself. The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

For, as the acclaimed actor Sir John Gielgud said, "One's self-image is very important because if that's in good shape, then you can do anything, or practically anything."

Remember, there is nothing obvious or apparent in a caterpillar that foreshadows it becoming a butterfly. Only the caterpillar knows it is going to be a butterfly. Likewise, only you know and understand what you can or will become.

As Buddha said many times, "be a lamp unto yourself," so that you have the insight and understanding of a caterpillar. 

And in doing so, always recall the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing; others judge us by what we have done."

This planet is a laboratory of experiences and an infinite university of potential learning for the evolution of our souls. 

Use these experiences and lessons to cultivate a deeper, richer self understanding and you will find a greater balance and harmony in the spirit of your true self. 

This article is excerpted from the top-selling personal growth and development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Deeper Self Understanding -- Part One

The key to self understanding is to be open and honest with yourself. 

In the previous Project You Life Blog post on Self Understanding (Part Two), we shared with you that self understanding will help you become and remain authentic. And, of course, you want to be authentic. 

Of course, you cannot be authentic if you do not know who you truly are. That is where self understanding comes in. Self reflection is the best school you will ever attend, and it is best that you become a lifetime student enrolled in this school.

Howard Gardner, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Education, differentiated between two types of personal intelligence:

interpersonal intelligence ── being the ability to understand other people and what motivates them, and

intrapersonal intelligence ── being an inward capacity to form an accurate, genuine and truthful model of one's self.

Gardner described the core interpersonal intelligence as the "capacities to discern and respond appropriately to the moods, temperaments, motivations, and desires of other people." He depicted intrapersonal intelligence as the key to self-knowledge with "access to one's own feelings and the ability to discriminate among them and draw upon them to guide behavior."

The key to true self understanding is to be open and honest during your reflective dialogues with yourself.

It is also important to tune out what others say about you. As the Trappist Monk Thomas Merton wrote in his book No Man Is an Island, "Others can give you a name or number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can only discover from within."

Also, do not get caught up in thinking your job title, your possessions or anything else you associate with are the real you. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:

The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications.

None of these are you.

Understanding the true motivations behind your thoughts and actions will place you in a better position to do what is right (for yourself as well as for others) when confronted with options and alternatives.

Likewise, realize that material wealth and creature comforts will not define who you truly are. Nor will they determine who your children truly are. Yes, a comfortable childhood usually leads to a more comfortable life as an adult. No one is arguing that there is a need to live in abject poverty to "find one's true self." On the other hand, as Andrew Carnegie said, "He who dies with wealth dies with shame."

To determine if what you are doing is in line with your values, ask yourself "why" are you doing it? Why are you starting that new business venture or creating that new product? To make money? Fine. But is that what you truly value? Or is it to make a difference in people's lives? The latter resonates much more strongly for most, as it is in line with their true values. 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Know Yourself: Self Understanding

Understanding yourself helps you become more authentic

If self awareness is like putting your foot into a lake to see how cold the water is, then self understanding is diving into the lake to see how deep it is.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu placed great emphasis on self understanding. He wrote, "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise." 

Self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself. You will likely learn a lot more than you bargained for, including lessons about life, spirituality, other people, love, faith, and many other topics. As such, it's a journey well worth taking.

Here are some motivational quotes from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to assist you in this journey of self discovery and understanding: 

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth. Ralph Waldo Emerson 

You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. Rwandan Proverb 

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky 

The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment. Krishnamurti 

Paul Coelho wrote, "The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world." Centuries earlier Aristotle told his followers, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." 

Self understanding will help you become more authentic and remain authentic in your words and in the large majority of your actions. And you want to be authentic.

Of course, you cannot be authentic if you do not know who you truly are. This is where self understanding comes into play.

Self reflection is the best school you will ever attend, and it is best that you become a lifetime student enrolled in this school.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in Kindle and paperback formats at Amazon.