Know Thyself

Know Yourself / Define Yourself

Know Thyself.

Those words, inscribed in gold letters on the temple of Apollo at Delphi, are probably the most important two-word phrase ever written.

Know thyself is a two-step process comprising self awareness and self understanding. 

Self awareness is a heightened sense of continuous attention to one's feelings, emotions, and thoughts. 

Self understanding is being aware of your thoughts about your feelings, emotions, and thoughts -- and being mindful of the impact these are having on your contemplated, intended, or actual actions. 

When combined and integrated, these two steps lead to self definition.

Here are some quotes from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom we hope will help motivate you to better knowing and defining yourself:

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on. Unknown 

Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world. Miguel de Cervantes 

We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter. Denis Diderot 

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself. Lao-Tzu

Yes, you need not do anything but be yourself. But first, you have to know and define yourself.

And that will be one of the most fascinating journeys you ever take.

Bon voyage!  

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Words of Wisdom, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

What is a Project You Life?

Realizing More of Our Individual Potential

A core component of a Project You Life is being involved in something bigger than yourself. This permeates and passes through all of the seven life elements. 

The reason this is a core component is that our best hopes for a better world, and a richer human experience for more people, lies in the personal development and growth of each of us.

It has been postulated that our reason for being is to give meaning to life. 

In a Project You Life sense, that meaning is to actualize more of our individual potential, then combine such higher realities into a collaborative force for humanity and the human experience, spiritual understanding and the collective spirit of the universe.

The great tragedy of the human experience is not that there are evil people in the world doing terrible and selfish things. 

Rather, the biggest tragedy is that most people live an existence that is far removed from their greatest possible intensity and passionate levels. Their lives are lived mostly to satisfy the plans and desires of others, and they commonly feel that they have insufficient control over their respective life journeys. 

The opposite of this is the leading and living of A Determined Life. 

A purposeful, self determined, meaningful life can be lived. 

It takes continuous self examination, introspection, a chosen path, determination, self motivation, and a willingness to accept responsibility for the outcomes resulting from your actions, thoughts and emotions. But it can be done.

And should you decide to embark upon the Project You Life Journey, rest assured that you will soon have answers to the two most intriguing questions anyone can ask you:

Are you truly alive?

What are you doing with your life? 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

The Project You Life Journey

Living A Determined Life

The Project You Life Journey is a continuous journey of self discovery and self actualization.

Many elements and tools are required for this journey, including:

• a positive and supportive attitude 
• a willingness to make changes in key aspects of your life 
• fine- tuning your thoughts and actions 
• the patience and fortitude to remain on the journey despite hurdles and setbacks, and 
• the capacity for inner reflection, analysis and deeper understanding about you, your emotional makeup and your needs, wants, desires, dreams, and hopes.

Perhaps the two most important tools you will need on this journey of Living A Determined Life are gratitude and optimism. We will discuss both of these critical elements in future posts.

Whenever you ask anyone what they want for their life and where they want to go, the answer can usually be summed up as "go forward." 

Whether it is career success, material possessions, increased spirituality, dreams for their children, or a drive to improve society and the world around them, everyone seeks improvements in their lives. 

Everyone wants higher levels, or more frequent occurrences, of happiness, joy, contentment, ecstasy, pleasure, satisfaction, love, enjoyment, etc. And everyone wants more of something ── wealth, health, fitness, sex, success, family time, power, freedom, knowledge, influence, energy, authority, or a multitude of other things.

As such, everyone wants to go forward, however they define forward progress, future success and greater abundance for themselves.

However, to truly go forward you have to go within first. Deeply. 

The path to Living a Determined Life starts within, and then branches out to encompass all aspects of your life. This is what makes the Project You Life Journey a path of discovery and understanding.

No two Project You Life Journeys will ever be the same, for no two people walking this earth are ever the same. This is a journey of self discovery, self understanding and self satisfaction that creates authentic happiness through the living of one's own values.

It starts with your mind, but quickly encapsulates your emotions, heart and soul to help you design a path and a life that are truly suited for your nature and your overall well- being. 

The end result is an opportunity to lead a satisfying and gratifying life determined by you and in a holistic fashion that is congruent with your soul and aligned with your life's true purpose. 

When one embarks upon a Project You Life Journey, they soon have answers to the two most intriguing questions anyone can ask you:

Are you truly alive?

What are you doing with your life? 

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.  

Following Your Conscience Creates Self Respect

Increasing Self Respect Makes Life More Pleasant 

You know instinctively when you are lying to yourself and trying to rationalize some course of action that your conscience is advising against. 

Going against your conscience usually results in a unpleasant results and a decrease in self respect. 

Follow your conscience and you will wake up each morning with a greater amount of respect for yourself. Disobey your conscience and the seeds of regret and self disenchantment begin to sprout. As William Penn wrote, "Only trust thyself and another shall not betray thee." 

You also need to respect yourself enough to walk away from anything -- or anyone -- that no longer renews you, helps you grow or makes you happy. 

Of course, this is not to suggest that you run away from your responsibilities (particularly parental ones) or your relationships simply because you are unhappy or not feeling any growth. In fact, personal growth will come from how you work your way through such situations.

On the other hand, as Zig Ziglar points out, "Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best show but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people." 

Respecting yourself also includes limiting the amount of damage you do to your body through over eating, alcohol, drugs, and your sleeping patterns. 

Respect is not something that you turn on and off like a water tap. It should gush from you at all times, toward all people, living creatures, the environment, property, and things in general. 

But, of course, before you can truly give respect to others, you have to have respect for yourself. 

Yes, you will occasionally come across people whose actions do not warrant respect. In such situations it is best to recall Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's words above to treat such people "as if they were what they ought to be." In doing so, perhaps you might just help them overcome whatever obstacles and hurdles they face and be a factor in them becoming what they ought to be. 

Even if your own respectful actions do not seem to have any impact on them, at least you will be left with a positive, respectful feeling toward yourself. Such a feeling makes it easier to walk away from idiots and those with self-proclaimed ambits of authority while maintaining peace with yourself instead of being angry with them and the world. 

Just add a little bit of respect into each of your encounters with others, and life will become a whole lot more pleasant and rewarding. 

Please take 10 minutes and think about ways you can improve your own self respect, and what actions you can take to bring more respect into the world around you.

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

The Right Path to Self Respect

Self Respect is a Long-Haul Journey

When these words from Shakti Gawain ring true for you, you will know that you are on the right path to self respect:

"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself."

As detailed in our top-selling book  Project You: Living A Determined Life, it is far more important to be true to yourself than to seek acceptance and confirmation from others. 

The same goes for respect. As Steven H. Coogler writes, "Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within."

One of the ironies about respect and self respect was identified centuries ago by the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."

Your continued personal development comes through the continuous process of building and maintaining high levels of self esteem and self respect. By changing the way you think about yourself, and by changing the internal verbal dialogues you have with yourself, you change your attitude, belief in yourself and your own abilities, the convictions you hold, and your energy levels.

All from simply how you think about and feel about you! 

And, as Lydia M. Child emphasizes, "Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture." (The most important venture you ever build will be you.)

Now, a word of caution! This is not a self-hype, temporary motivational exercise. Yes, there is a role for motivational affirmations that temporarily build short-term bursts of self belief (especially in sports and other performance or competitive activities). We have all witnessed underdogs will themselves to victories in countless movies and sporting events.

Rather, this is a long-haul journey requiring the patience and compassion described by Shakti Gawain above. It also requires complete and honest truth with one's self. We all have strengths and limitations. No one is perfect. You have to be honest with yourself about your imperfections.

"Above all," as Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky said, "do not lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." 

For most of us, gaining -- and maintaining -- self respect is often one of the most difficult parts of the Project You Life Journey. As we wrote in our previous post on Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts, this takes time, patience and commitment. 

It also takes a willingness to test self-imposed boundaries. And it takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with yourself on what you are thinking and feeling about yourself. 

Today......right now.....couldn't be a better time to have such a reflective conversation. 

Project You: Living A Determined Life is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect. 

Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts

Self Respect Comes From Total, Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself

You need not be controlled by your thoughts. In fact, you have immense control over your own thoughts, even the subconscious ones. Scientific studies have shown that the subconscious mind can only think what it is told. It cannot create new thought patterns by itself; but only through external stimuli.

Thus, if you tell yourself you are sad, unhappy or angry, then that is what your subconscious will believe and hence will direct you to act accordingly. However, if you tell yourself that you have a significant number of things to be grateful for, no matter how dire the current circumstances may seem, then you will approach your situation in a more positive, optimistic and happier manner.

The key is to fully understand yourself and how you allow situations, comments, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions impact you. As Nido Qubein has written, "Total, unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step in building a positive self-image." 

As mentioned in our previous post on Self Respect, you have to weed out the negative thoughts circulating in your inner talk. Like weeds in a garden, such thoughts need to be killed, not pruned. 

For many, gaining ─ and maintaining ─ self respect is often the most arduous part of the Project You Life Journey. It takes time, patience and commitment. It takes a willingness to test self imposed boundaries. It takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with one's self.

And, of course, it takes the ability to love all mankind as well as yourself. As the writer Joan Didion penned, "To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything." 

Our book, Project You: Living A Determined Life, is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect. 

The Importance of Self Respect

Time to Garden Out the Weeds in Your Self Respect Thoughts

One important aspect of respect is self respect.

Like many attributes in life, respect for yourself is something you must have before you can give it to others. It is almost impossible to respect and love others if you do not respect and love yourself.

For, as Zig Ziglar has pointed out, "The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!" 

Your heightened self awareness and self understanding, is very critical.

If you are not careful, your constant chatter with yourself will pull you down through negative thoughts that create a poor attitude, an unattractive demeanor and reduced self esteem.

That is why it is important to understand and be aware of what motivates you and what drives your own self respect to lower levels. After all, having low self esteem is like driving through life with your personal hand brake on. 

"To think bad thoughts," notes James Clavell, "is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral down into ever increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort. This is one of the things that discipline -- training -- is about."

How do you eliminate, or at least control, the bad thoughts buzzing throughout your mind? 

Jim Rohn answers this question with a gardening metaphor: "You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate." 

Perhaps it's time to do a little self respect gardening work this weekend?

This article is partially excerpted from Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.