Self Understanding -- Part One

The more you understand yourself, the more you understand the world. 

Self awareness is like putting your foot into a lake to see how cold the water is. Self understanding is diving into the lake to see how deep it is.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu placed great emphasis on self understanding. He wrote, "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise."

Self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself. You will likely learn a lot more than you bargained for, including lessons about life, spirituality, other people, love, faith, and many other topics.

Paul Coelho wrote, "The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world." And centuries earlier, Aristotle told his followers, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." It is sad that more people do not understand the linkages between self understanding and universal wisdom.

The past three decades have seen a litany of self-help books, tapes, videos, CDs, DVDs, webinars, and live programs produced. In fact, the entire self-help industry went from start-up phase to maturity in less than 40 years. The foundation the self-help movement in the latter years of the 20th Century were these words from the 19th Century American psychologist William James: "The most important discovery of my generation is people can change their lives by changing their minds."

Ever since, self-proclaimed gurus, personalities and industry leaders have been trying to help people change their minds through "attitude adjustments" and "positive thinking." Unfortunately, the majority of them failed to educate their followers that you must first have a firm understanding of yourself before implementing their programs and advice, so that your mind and your spirit are not in continual conflict.

Perhaps this is because the journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As Miguel de Cervantes wrote, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

6 Steps for Making Change Last

Maintaining Momentum for Personal and Professional Change Development 

Worried or afraid that you might not be successful in making the personal or professional change you desire? 

That's understandable. But, of course, you won't know for sure until you have tried. 

Many changes take multiple efforts over time (we all know people who have "quit" smoking numerous times until they were finally able to quit for good). 

Belief in yourself and your capabilities, combined with a firm commitment (to yourself) will help get you under way.

Lastly, if you are still hesitant to initiate a change you truly believe you should take, the words of Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu provide a strong warning of the dangers of not changing: "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

Here are six steps for making change last: 

1. Be specific and precise about the change. "Losing weight" is neither specific nor precise. "Reducing weight by eight pounds in the next four weeks" is both. 
2. Do not take on too much. Making one substantial change at a time is significant enough. Aim for quality of change, not quantity.
3. Stretch yourself, but don't over do it. Don't settle for something too easy, but also don't push yourself for something that is unrealistically hard. Aim for something that is just outside your comfort zone. 
4. Eliminate temptations. Change can weaken your self control. It can also cause you to rationalize that since you are making improvements in one area it is okay to backslide in another. Until you have formed positive habits hide away and purposely avoid all temptations that might take you off track. 
5. Monitor your progress. Measure and track improvements (another reason your change goals should be precise and specific). Identify times when slippage occurs and see if a pattern is developing.
6. Reward yourself both for effort and for little victories. Didn't quite make it all the way to your goal by the assigned deadline? That's okay. If you came close, and you can honestly say you put in close to maximum effort, reward yourself with a little treat (hold the big treats until major accomplishments are achieved). 

When hesitant to make, or continue, personal and professional change, go back to the Change Benefits list we wrote about in the previous Project You Life Blog on Change Is Not Always Easy. If you haven't created your list, find 15 minutes today to do so. 

Once you find the courage and willingness to get started, the six steps above will help keep your personal or professional change project in full momentum. 

If you have any thoughts or ideas on additional steps to add to this list, please share them in the comments box below. We welcome your thoughts and ideas, especially on things that have worked for you. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon. 

Know Yourself: Define Yourself

Only you know what you can or will become

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself.

The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

Remember, there is nothing obvious or apparent in a caterpillar that foreshadows it becoming a butterfly. Only the caterpillar knows it is going to be a butterfly.

Likewise, only you know and understand what you can or will become.

As Buddha said, "be a lamp unto yourself." This will give you the insight and understanding of a caterpillar. 

Doing so will also help you define yourself, both for the world and to yourself. And defining yourself is something you want to do.

After all, as George Bernard Shaw said, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

Here are some quotations from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to help you go about defining and creating yourself: 

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. Alan Ashley-Pitt 

How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most. Stephen Covey 

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. Sir Edmund Hillary 

When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. Lao-Tzu 

There is only one success -- to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley 

You can judge me all you want. Just keep the verdict to yourself. Steven Howard 

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. African Proverb 

He who is firm in will molds the world to himself. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. Hindu Proverb 

Dogma is living with the results of other people's thinking. Steve Jobs 

This planet is a laboratory of experiences and an infinite university of potential learning for the evolution of our souls. 

Use your experiences and lessons to cultivate a deeper, richer self understanding and you will enjoy a greater balance and harmony in the spirit of your true (self-defined) self.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, which is available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats. 

Knowing Yourself / Defining Yourself

Life is about creating yourself

As you continue on your life's journey it is critical, as American actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein wrote, to "accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."  

The journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As we quoted Miguel de Cervantes in the previous post Know Thyself, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." 

Difficult, yes. Impossible? Definitely not. 

The foundation of your own self definition will be expressed in your own self image. What you project to the world, and to yourself, reflects how well you understand yourself. The better this understanding, the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

Here are some quotations from our book Project You: Words of Wisdom to help you along this journey of self understanding and knowing one's self:

He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise. Lao-Tzu 

He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. Marcus Aurelius 

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Max Ehrman 

I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself. Shakti Gawain 

As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you the first time around. Oprah Winfrey 

Again, the better your understanding of yourself the greater will be the satisfactions you feel and experience.

After all, as George Bernard Shaw said, "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

That's a philosophy at the heart of Living A Determined Life. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Words of Wisdom, available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. 

The Right Path to Self Respect

Self Respect is a Long-Haul Journey

When these words from Shakti Gawain ring true for you, you will know that you are on the right path to self respect:

"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself."

As detailed in our top-selling book  Project You: Living A Determined Life, it is far more important to be true to yourself than to seek acceptance and confirmation from others. 

The same goes for respect. As Steven H. Coogler writes, "Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within."

One of the ironies about respect and self respect was identified centuries ago by the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."

Your continued personal development comes through the continuous process of building and maintaining high levels of self esteem and self respect. By changing the way you think about yourself, and by changing the internal verbal dialogues you have with yourself, you change your attitude, belief in yourself and your own abilities, the convictions you hold, and your energy levels.

All from simply how you think about and feel about you! 

And, as Lydia M. Child emphasizes, "Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture." (The most important venture you ever build will be you.)

Now, a word of caution! This is not a self-hype, temporary motivational exercise. Yes, there is a role for motivational affirmations that temporarily build short-term bursts of self belief (especially in sports and other performance or competitive activities). We have all witnessed underdogs will themselves to victories in countless movies and sporting events.

Rather, this is a long-haul journey requiring the patience and compassion described by Shakti Gawain above. It also requires complete and honest truth with one's self. We all have strengths and limitations. No one is perfect. You have to be honest with yourself about your imperfections.

"Above all," as Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky said, "do not lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others." 

For most of us, gaining -- and maintaining -- self respect is often one of the most difficult parts of the Project You Life Journey. As we wrote in our previous post on Self Respect Requires Taking Control of Your Thoughts, this takes time, patience and commitment. 

It also takes a willingness to test self-imposed boundaries. And it takes the mental energy required to frequently pause and have reflective conversations with yourself on what you are thinking and feeling about yourself. 

Today......right now.....couldn't be a better time to have such a reflective conversation. 

Project You: Living A Determined Life is a guide to Authentic Success, a journey that starts with self-understanding and self-respect. 

Self Understanding (Part Two)

Self Understanding Is More Than Self Help

For years self-proclaimed gurus, personalities and self-help industry leaders have been trying to encourage people to change their minds and mental mindsets through "attitude adjustments" and "positive thinking." 

The foundation the self-help movement in the latter years of the 20th Century were these words from the 19th Century American psychologist William James: "The most important discovery of my generation is people can change their lives by changing their minds."

The past three decades have seen a litany of self-help books, tapes, videos, CDs, DVDs, webinars, and live programs produced. In fact, the entire self-help industry went from start-up phase to maturity in less than 40 years. 

Unfortunately, the majority of them failed to educate their followers that you first must have a firm understanding of yourself before implementing their programs and advice, so that your mind and your spirit are not in continual conflict.

This is because the journey of self awareness and self understanding is a difficult and long one. As Miguel de Cervantes wrote, "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world."

The various writers, speakers and products of the self-help industry all have one theme in common ── every person can take responsibility for changing and building their lives. That's a great start, but what most of the strategies and ideas proffered have lacked has been guidance in helping practitioners and readers come to grips with their true inner selves.

These self help programs have been great at helping people improve their self images, build stronger egos, identify ways to motivate themselves, and design strategies for personal goal attainment. But what they usually did not provide were tools and strategies for developing a better rapport with, and deeper understanding of, one's spiritual self. 

As Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, wrote, "The self-image or ego is what we hold to be true about ourselves and what we want others to believe about us. Most people believe they are their self-image and, therefore, diligently strive to protect it. In defense of our image, we imprison our spirit."  

As we wrote in the previous post on self understanding: self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself.

It is worth quoting the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu again: "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise."  

This weekend provides an ideal time for some self reflection and contemplation. Spend some time getting to know yourself better. As Lao-Tzu points out, doing so will make you a wiser person come Monday.

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and Kindle formats at Amazon.

 

Self Understanding (Part One)

Self awareness is like putting your foot into a lake to see how cold the water is. 

Self understanding is diving into the lake to see how deep it is.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu placed great emphasis on self understanding. He wrote, "He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise."

Self understanding enables you to plumb the depths of your own inner spirit, and to seek out amazing discoveries about yourself. You will likely learn a lot more than you bargained for, including lessons about life, spirituality, other people, love, faith, and many other topics.

Paul Coelho wrote, "The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand the world." And centuries earlier, Aristotle told his followers, "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." 

It is extremely sad that more people do not understand the linkages between self understanding and universal wisdom. Please do not let you be one of these people.

The past three decades have seen a litany of self-help books, tapes, videos, CDs, DVDs, webinars, and live programs produced. In fact, the entire self-help industry went from start-up phase to maturity in less than 40 years. 

The foundation the self-help movement in the latter years of the 20th Century were these words from the 19th Century American psychologist William James: "The most important discovery of my generation is people can change their lives by changing their minds."  

What are you doing today to change your perspectives, your thoughts?

What are you doing today to increase your own personal self understanding? 

Please share your thoughts or actions in the comments box below.

The next 3-4 Project You Life blog posts will delve deeper into the topic of Self Understanding. We look forward to your active contribution and participation in discussing this important subject. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life which is available in paperback and Kindle formats from Amazon.