Being Happy vs. Happiness

You Have A Right To Determine Your Own Happiness 

There is a significant difference between being happy and authentic happiness, as discussed in the Project You Life blog earlier this month.

Being happy is akin to joy, pleasure, elation, delight and other short-term feelings. Such experiential feelings of being happy are like a drug. As soon as the effect of one happy incident wears off, you go in search of the next thing, person or event that will bring another temporary feeling of enjoyment, gratification or being happy.

For many people, the main cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what they truly and deeply want most (authentic happiness) for something that they want at a particular moment, in the hopes of gaining immediate pleasure or happiness. This is a sure recipe for trouble. As the Indian spiritual teacher Nisargadatta Maharaj said, "All search for happiness is misery and leads to more misery."

Happiness does not come from the outside world. Only you can make yourself happy ── through your reactions, thoughts and other feelings. In fact, it is often said that it takes the same amount of work and effort to make one's self happy as it does to be unhappy.

You have a right to determine your own happiness, and the best way to attain true happiness is to be yourself and live A Determined Life based on your values. If others do not like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life, especially A Determined Life, is not about pleasing everybody.

As Ralph Martson, writer and publisher of The Daily Motivator website, newsletter and associated products, said, "You don't need anyone else's permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone else says it is, but because you choose to see it as such." 

As we often say and write: true happiness comes from within and dwells in each of us.

Additionally, because you live in an interdependent world in an interconnected universe, authentic happiness is often attained by helping others or being deeply involved in something bigger than yourself. 

Hence, sometimes the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer up somebody else. As the old adage goes, "When you see a person without a smile, give them one of yours."

The simple reality of life is that you cannot always be happy. Part of the human journey is to experience the sad parts of life: rejection, disappointment, love that flames out, pain, wishes that go unfulfilled, death, tragedy, conflict, remorse, etc.

However, through the living of A Determined Life, you can attain and maintain Authentic Happiness. 

This article has been partially excerpted from our top-selling book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available at Amazon in Kindle and paperback formats.