Self Understanding (Part Three)

Deeper Self Understanding

Our last post discussed the linkage between Self Understanding and Being Authentic.

As mentioned, self understanding will help you become authentic, and remain authentic, in the large majority of your actions. 

Of course, you cannot be authentic if you do not know who you truly are. That is where self understanding comes in. 

Self reflection is the best school you will ever attend, and it is best that you become a lifetime student enrolled in this school.

Howard Gardner, a psychologist at the Harvard School of Education, differentiated between two types of personal intelligence:

interpersonal intelligence ── being the ability to understand other people and what motivates them, and 

intrapersonal intelligence ── being an inward capacity to form an accurate, genuine and truthful model of one's self.

Gardner described the core interpersonal intelligence as the "capacities to discern and respond appropriately to the moods, temperaments, motivations, and desires of other people." 

He depicted intrapersonal intelligence as the key to self-knowledge with "access to one's own feelings and the ability to discriminate among them and draw upon them to guide behavior."

The key to true self understanding is to be open and honest during your reflective dialogues with yourself.

It is also important to tune out what others say about you. As the Trappist Monk Thomas Merton wrote in his book No Man Is an Island, "Others can give you a name or number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can only discover from within."

Also, do not get caught up in thinking your job title, your possessions or anything else you associate with are the real you. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:

"The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications.

None of these are you."

Understanding the true motivations behind your thoughts and actions will place you in a better position to do what is right (for yourself as well as for others) when confronted with options and alternatives. 

This is why the words Know Thyself, inscribed in gold letters on the temple of Apollo at Delphi, are undoubtedly the most important two-word phrase ever chiseled or written.


This article is partially excerpted from the book Project You: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and Kindle eBook formats at Amazon.