Deeper Self Understanding -- Part Two

Greater Self Understanding Leads to Greater Self Esteem 

Here's some great advice from Louise Erdrich, a best-selling Native American author of novels, poetry and children's books, "Never rationalize anything that feels wrong." 

Or, as Mario Cuomo, a former governor of New York and Presidential candidate remarked, "Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right."

Both Erdrich and Cuomo recognize and grasp the importance of self understanding, particularly in relation to decision making.

It is very tempting to do things that do not feel right, especially when no one else seems to be around watching. Remember, however, that your spirit is constantly watching you and will cause you grief when you do not live up to its (your!) standards. 

As Griffin Bell, a former U.S. Attorney General, advised, "Always err on the side of doing right. You and only you are responsible for your ethics."

Doing right by your own standards is the surest way to maintain self esteem. 

And despite what others will say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a hefty amount of self esteem, even when this gives rise to the side effect of an enlarged ego. 

Additionally, nothing you ever learn, know or have is worth learning, knowing or having unless you know how to be proud of yourself.

As Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else."

Or, to put it another way, as Nido Qubein has, "Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."

This is why self-actualization is at the peak of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. 

This article is excerpted from the Amazon top-selling personal development book Project You: Living A Determined Life, available in paperback and Kindle formats. 

Self Esteem: Important Ingredient for Authentic Success

Attitude and "Self Talk" Impact Self Esteem and Self Worth

We quoted singer Pearl Bailey at the end of the previous post on self-esteem with her very apt words: "No one can figure out your worth but you."

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success with self esteem. 

Your "self talk" plays a critical role in how you perceive your self worth. That's the good news, and the bad news.

By focusing on positive messages, and controlling the quantity of negative thoughts circulating in your brain, you can boost your sense of self worth and your level of self esteem.

On the other hand, if you do not deem worth in yourself, or in your ideas and actions, then you will be placing your own limitations on yourself, as well as in your ideas and actions.

As Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and several other outstanding books, wrote, "Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours." Similarly Denis Waitley chimed in with, "The greatest limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself."

Fear is a major conduit of self-limiting beliefs. You need to develop the skill of understanding and controlling your fears, to ensure you do not act or react out of fear. Bertrand Russell, a noted philosopher, wrote: "Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear." 

David Patchell-Evans, an author and Canadian fitness expert, wrote the following in relation to physical exercise programs, but his message actually has broader connotations for life in general:

Most of the limitations you think you have are the ones you have decided on. They are often entirely self-imposed.

You might think "I can't do this, I can't do that, I would never do that, my parents could never do that, I never played baseball, I never climbed a mountain, I never, never, never."

It's the old broken record in your head. Throw out that negative thinking right now! Learn to play a positive message in your head because it's all about attitude.

Yes, throw out all your negative thinking. Right now! Only allow positive messages into your head, particularly from your own "self talk". 

Remember, you cannot expect to accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. 

The road to Authentic Success requires an attitude of positive self esteem and truly knowing your own self worth.

If you want some help in this area, pick up a copy of Project You: Words of Wisdom, which combines motivational messages and quotations from leading thinkers and individuals across the ages with practical tips, techniques, tools, and proven steps to help readers embark on a journey of continuous improvement in both self esteem and self worth. 

This article is partially excerpted from the book ProjectYou: Living A Determined Life, which is available in paperback and eBook formats at Amazon.

Self Esteem: Focusing on Your own Self Worth

No One Can Figure Out Your Worth But You

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem wrote, "Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."

Think about that for a moment.

You undoubtedly know what your reputation is amongst your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family members.

But what is your reputation with yourself and of yourself?

You cannot accomplish much without a high level of self esteem. And you certainly cannot expect to achieve any level of authentic success without self esteem.

In many ways self esteem should be thought of as self respect. For, like all other forms of respect, this must be earned before it is granted freely and willingly.

Self esteem will also heighten your sense of self worth, a topic you are likely to struggle with at various times in your life. In today's society, one's self worth is usually negated and chipped away at by others, and unfortunately most often by the ones you love or care about the most.

Which makes this advice from the author Ralph Marston particularly relevant: "If you really want to improve your self esteem, stop allowing other people to be responsible for it. Instead, create something of value. Make a positive difference."

Fortunately, self worth can be built up through one's own stimulus, actions and thinking. There's a great deal of truth in this quote circulating on the Internet and attributed to someone named Kim Jeffery, "I was worthless, until I decided to be worth more."

In a similar fashion, your ideas are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. 

Likewise, your actions are worthless, until you decide what worth they have. And so on, and so on.

The singer Pearl Bailey may have summed it up best, "No one can figure out your worth but you."